RIVER ROAD

He loved to walk alone
along the old macadam road,
along the edge of the river.
That’s where he did his best talking to himself.
Potholes, broken bottles, discarded beer cans –
didn’t bother him.
They were in his past.
Now it was only the river,
the flowing of the waters,
the present and the future.
He stopped now and then,
here and there, along the road,
to see the sun reflecting
on the running river ripples,
and then to hear the delicious
sucking sounds
of our Forever Flowing God.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2008

MOSES

His name was Moses.
Honestly, his parents named him, “Moses”.
As a kid he got into a fight in a school yard,
because some boys were being bullies,
picking on this other kid – a tiny kid.
Boys will be boys.
And they picked on him after that – verbally -
and from a distance. He was a tough kid.

So he was glad when his family moved.
One day he was at a garden stuff store.
His dad was checking out lawn stuff.
He spotted these packets – so many packets –
flower seeds – but they were trapped in the tiny bags.
The pictures on the packages were stunning.
And so for the rest of his life,
whenever he had spare change,
he would buy packets of flower seeds –
with the neat pictures of flowers on the outside.
Then when nobody was looking –
and he looked very carefully,
he didn’t want anyone picking on him,
he would – yes he’s the one –
he would secretly rip open
the top of the package
and plant those flower seeds
here, there, and everywhere.
He never told anyone he did this.
And he did this all his life –
and whenever he saw flowers
freely dancing in a breeze –
whenever he saw folks stop
to look at flowers,
he would smile –
he was the one who set them free.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2008

LIFE: IT TAKES TIME TO LEARN

WHAT WE HAVE TO LEARN.

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Life: It Takes Time To Learn What We Have To Learn.”

I read today’s gospel story (Matthew 20:1-16a) – and wondered if Jesus would tell the same story today.

Then I asked myself, “Could I come up with a story that gets at the same issue that Jesus is trying to get at.”

Then I heard an inner voice, “Try it.”

And I came up with two stories.

FIRST STORY: DANCING WITH THE STARS

Rose was dancing since she was three years old. Tap dancing. Ballet. Irish dancing lessons.

She was good. Since she was the oldest of Mr. and Mrs. Treetopper’s 4 kids, there were pictures of Rose everywhere – plus CD’s. Her grandparents on both sides were always bragging about their future Broadway Dancer. The other 3 kids felt left out at times.

Rose was a star – better than all the other dancers in her troop and dancing schools.

Rose was a star – all through grammar school and high school. Then instead of going to college she went to a school for the arts in New York City – taking courses in dancing, singing, and acting.

Rose graduated from this school of arts after 2 years – and went to try out after try out after try out in hopes of making it on Broadway.

She never landed a leading role in any Broadway musical – only small parts.

She found herself inwardly screaming, “Not fair. Not fair. Not fair.” Gals no where near her skills and abilities landed the leads – because they did such and such with the director or this and that.

In the meanwhile, Rose kept dancing.

Rose made a living out of the small parts – as well as waitressing – and one day she was just sitting there with a few of her friends at a friends’ apartment. There on the wall was a poster with a picture of a little 3 or 4 year old ballerina with words, “There are no small parts – only small people.”

Suddenly she realized something deep within herself. The next time she danced, she was amazing, she was a star. A director spotted her specialness – her change - and offered her a lead. She was on her way.

Life went on.

Rose won 3 major awards and she had 4 leading roles in musicals. She got married. When her first child arrived, she retired from dancing. When the kids were all in school, she started a small dancing school. There on the wall was a poster of a small girl dancing and the words: “There are no small parts – only small people.”

And she knew the kids she taught wouldn’t get that message. She knew about life. Life: it takes time to learn what we have to learn. However, some of their parents would get the message and enjoy the beautiful scene of seeing their kids dancing – parents who wouldn’t complain when their kids had small parts.

End of first story.

SECOND STORY: THE FOOTBALL PLAYER

He was furious when he didn’t make the varsity football team.

He expected to make it. He was a senior. He thought he paid his dues. He ran 5 miles every evening – after working all day in a cinder block plant. He did this 5 days a week all through June and July and into August. He lifted extra weights. He even practiced dancing with his sister, Charlotte, to become more “steppy” and more light on his feet.

He was furious when he didn’t make the team.

What was worse, the coach’s son made the team – and he was only a sophomore. One of the teacher’s sons made the team – and this kid was out of shape and moved like pug dog.

He sat in the stands – went to every home game out of loyalty – didn’t tell anyone about his anger and his envy.

However, his dad knew what he was feeling. He went out of his way to invite his son to Circuit City when he wanted to check out a flat screen TV, took him golfing, took him deep sea fishing one weekend, and on and on and on – things he wouldn’t have done if his son had made the team.

He went to college – didn’t play varsity sports – but he was the best one-on-one basketball player in his dorm. He did well academically. It wasn’t till his sophomore year in college that he was able to let go of his anger at his high school coach. He didn’t know he was letting go of this anger – but he had done it slowly and unconsciously.

Life: it takes time to learn what we have to learn.

In his junior year of college, he fell in love with a funny gal –– but she dumped him for a freshman. It hurt. It hurt big time. But he got over it by his senior year when he met a great gal who was also a senior.

Three years later they got married – had three kids and their three kids got married and each had three kids.

Well, one day, his grandson Booker - yes his name was Booker – a senior in High School, came to his grandpa – with a long face.

“Grandpa I didn’t make the varsity football team and it’s not fair. I really worked hard to get in top shape. I lifted weights big time. I ran 6 miles every other day. The coach’s son made the team – and he’s a loser – and has two left feet – and a bunch of juniors made the team and I didn’t. Not fair. Not fair. Not fair.”

His grandpa listened and listened and listened and listened to Booker. Then he said, after he figured Booker said everything, “Booker, I need to get some stuff at Computer Unlimited – and you know me, I don’t know anything about computers and you know tons. Could you help me?”

And grandson Booker, even though he was feeling “crumbolo”, took his grandpa to Computer Unlimited – after checking out his grandpa’s computer. This took his anger away for an afternoon. Booker felt great that he was able to help his grandpa.

That night when grandpa went to bed, he lay there wide awake. He realized how blessed he was to have 3 sons and 9 grandkids – and how life works – and how Booker in time would realize how life works – how things work out – and how in the long run, people enjoy the gift of life – even though life is not fair at times - even though they don't make the team, get the job, or get the part in a school play. He would learn that others get A’s in papers and he’ll get a B or others will get the awards – when his stuff is much, much better. He’ll learn that someone else will get an end piece of cake with a lot more icing than he – even though it’s his birthday – and the kid with the worse fishing gear catches the biggest fish – and the other guy gets our gal – and we better see what we have – not what we don’t have.

Life: it takes time to learn what he have to learn.

End of second story.

CONCLUSION

And I heard an inner voice from Jesus that said, “Nice try, but I think my story is better.”

And I said to Jesus, “Unfair, unfair, unfair!”

And Jesus laughed at me and I laughed back.

Life: It takes time to learn what we have to learn.

HOW DOES GOD WORK?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “How Does God Work?”

Answer: “I don’t know!”

One of my favorite quotes, and I say this to myself all the time and sometimes out loud is, “The Talmud says: ‘Teach thy tongue to say, “I do not know!”’.”

The Talmud is a collection of comments and sayings by many Rabbis about the Jewish scriptures, laws, customs and practices – down through Jewish history.

“Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”

The Talmud also says, “The world is a wedding!” but I’ll save that for another homily.

In this homily I’m thinking about, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”

TODAY’S FIRST READING

Isn’t that what the Book of Isaiah is saying in today’s first reading when it says, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my thoughts above your thoughts.”

So when people say, “This is how God works.” or “This is God’s will!”, I find myself thinking inwardly at times, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”

BOOK: WHEN MEN BECOME GODS

My sister Mary told me about a book she had just read, “When Men Become Gods.” It’s by Stephen Singular – 2008 publication date. The book is about Warren Jeffs and the fundamentalist cult break off from Mormonism – that he was the One Leader of.

I’m up to page 217 and it has 294 pages. It’s a very scary book and it hit me as I read it that popes, bishops and priests should read it – because it should make us hesitate to say, “This is what God wants.” Or, “This is God’s will.”

Teach thy tongue to say, “I do not know.”

I also hope lots of people will read it and not get roped into craziness by us religious speakers. So when we priests make comments up here, I hope you say to yourself, “I don’t know about that.”

Warren Jeffs ruined and ripped off all kinds of people by claiming, “I know what God wants you to do.” And so he forced many girls into underage marriages and polygamy and there is abuse and destruction of marriages and families – and lots of money grabbing. Because he wanted young girls for polygamous marriages – he had to get rid of young boys. I had not heard of a group called, “The Lost Boys” – who were turned out into the community – uneducated and unready for drugs and life on the outside. Scary stuff – stuff I know so little about.

It was a great move that Warren Jeffs was put on the F.B.I’s Ten Most Wanted List.

Yet he was caught by accident – and as you know there are lots of problems still going on in these fundamentalist groups.

The book makes connections at times with Muslim fundamentalist groups – where leaders say, “This is what God or Allah wants!” and people blow themselves up and do other destructive things not only to outsiders but also to their own people – especially women and young people.

“Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’

THE KORAN

I was at a Jewish Catholic wedding a while back in Washington D.C. and while standing there afterwards at the hors d’oeuvers with the Rabbi, he asked me if I had read the Koran. I said, “No!” He said, “You ought to read it.”

So I went to Borders and Barnes and Noble and looked at different translations – and I was even tempted to buy, Islam for Dummies – but I said to myself, “Read The Koran first!” I still haven’t finished two other books on Islam: The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseni which a lot of people had recommended as well as Karen Armstrong’s book, Islam: A Short History.

As I was reading The Koran I found myself thinking all kinds of things.

One thought: Would a Muslim or a person who never read our scriptures be as confused and as “head scratching” as I am in reading this?

I also noticed how often the words, “fire” and “burn” and “kill” and “destroy” were showing up. I noticed how often the text was saying that God will destroy all the outsiders, etc.

I thought about September 11th and the march of Islam and the Crusades and I found myself, “I don’t know enough about all of this.”

Then one day I was reading our scriptures for a weekday mass and sure enough there were texts about God wiping out people – destroying people – and lots of violence. “Uh oh!”

Obviously, we need a lot of adult education on how to read and interpret scriptures – as well as understanding others and their religion – as well as fundamentalist strains in the various religions.

Religion can become very violent. No wonder some people leave their church or all churches or all religion.

There was the Inquisition as well as Witch trials – Protestant and Catholic Wars. There was the hope in this country for separation of church and state as well as religious tolerance.

Uh oh! I found myself saying, “This is stuff that needs to be looked at, talked about, put on the table.”

“Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”

CATHOLICISM

I remembered being invited with another priest to a Catholic Charismatic meeting one evening in another state in someone’s home. I had been to other prayer meetings here and there – but then at this one, something strange happened. Some people were praying in tongues. I’ve heard this at times. I find it foreign – but I don’t know. It’s not my cup of tea. And I’m sure some of you had different experiences – that you found helpful. Well, surprise, someone came up front with a tape recorder, and played something someone just said in tongues. This person claimed to have the gift of interpretation of tongues and so she played the tape – would stop it – and then explain what was just said.

I’m sitting there as an outsider – thinking to myself. “This is crazy.”

Then the lady interpreter said after listening to more talk in tongues “God wants you Joan” or whatever the woman’s name was – “to leave your husband.”

I said nothing. I wasn’t there in any kind of a role – but I remember talking to this other priest while driving back, “This is crazy stuff. This is dangerous stuff.”

I never did anything further. Looking back I should have, but I didn’t.

I had the same feeling when anyone tells me what God wants – Catholic, Protestant, whoever.

I had the same feeling and thought as I reading this book about Warren Jeffs.

I have the same feeling and thought when I hear people blowing up people in the name of God.

I have the same feeling and thought when people are off on books that contain private revelations from God or the Blessed Mother or what have you.

Religion can be dangerous stuff.

Teach thy tongue to say, “I do not know.”

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel is surprise.

If you ever say to God, “Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!” read today’s gospel.

If you think God should be thinking your way and work the way you think God should work, read today’s gospel.

If you’re the person who came into the vineyard at the last hour and got just as much as those who worked the whole day in the heat, pinch yourself for being so lucky. God is generous.

If you’re the person who has busted your butt all your life and other people seem to be getting a much better deal in life, pinch yourself, consider yourself lucky. God is generous.

If you don’t agree with that, say inwardly at me, “Teach thy tongue to say, ‘I do not know.’”

CONCLUSION

I don’t know about this homily. I preached a somewhat different homily yesterday at 4:30 - but something was wrong with that homily as well. This is tough stuff. I have the Life Teen or Gus Mass tonight and I’m going to go a totally different way with these readings.

We use authority with young people – especially kids. Don’t play with matches and don’t ask why. So this evening I’m going the way of Jesus’ parables – today’s gospel – and young people’s complaints –and envy and jealousy and fairness about stuff and siblings, etc.

But when people get older, we want reasons – we ask questions. Research. Research. Research. Faith and reason need to work together. St. Thomas Aquinas said, “The argument from authority is the weakest.” “Locus ab auctoritate est infirmissimus.”

So when it comes to God – as we get older – there are some things we know and there are some things we don’t know. Wisdom is knowing the difference.

I love the story in the news recently about this 17 mile tunnel on the French and Swiss border. The hope was to come up with data – information – about whether there are so called “first particles” – or as others call it, “The God particle”. It’s a 5 billion plus Euro physics experiment. Let there be light. Let there be research. Let there be discovery. I also love it because it’s trying to find out whether “The Big Bang Theory” is actual. I love it because the term “The Big Bang Theory” was proposed by the Belgian priest and physicist, Father Georges Lemaitre. He said there are two ways of arriving at truth: cosmology and faith – studying the physical laws of the universe as well as making deep acts of faith in God the Creator.

Slowly, as we get older we discover through experience and faith that there are a lot of things about God we don’t know, but we also discover some things about our God that we do know – especially that God is very generous – creating us and putting us in this beautiful vineyard called “Planet Earth.” Thank You God.

THE “GOD’S WILL” BUTTON

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 21st Sunday in Ordinary Time [A] is, “The ‘God’s Will’ Button.”

Cars, homes, businesses sometimes have alarms that go off.

In this homily I want to simply bring up the question of the “God’s Will” button. If you don’t have one, get one. If you have one, and you feel it going off at times, listen to it.

I call it “The God’s Will Button.”

It can be alarming as well as annoying. Don’t disarm it.

When someone says, “Well, that’s God’s will,” find yourself saying, “Well, I don’t know about that.” Or say to yourself, “Let me think about that?”

TODAY’S READINGS

I think the purpose of today’s readings – especially today’s first reading and the gospel – is to get us a bit annoyed or angry or thinking – to hit our buttons – so if you found yourself getting ticked off a bit – while listening to and reflecting upon today’s readings, then you’re listening – and the readings are doing what they are supposed to do.

Now that’s my opinion. I hope you say to yourself, “Well, I don’t know about that. Let me read those readings again?”

I think today’s readings get at the hot button topic of “God’s Will.”

I think today’s readings get at the hot button issue of fairness.

And down deep – underneath – we’re all like little kids at times who scream, “Not fair. Not fair. Not fair.”

Today’s readings challenge us to sit down and talk and think about life’s big questions. Here are some of them:
· “Why is there this person called ‘me’?”
· “Why am I where I am?”
· “Why did what happened so far, happen?”
· “Is there a plan for me?”
· “If there is, what is it, where can I find it?”
· “Do I have an input into such a plan, if there is one?”
· “Is there such a thing as a ‘calling’?”
· “Is there a God?”
· “Is God a Trinity: Father, Son and Holy Spirit?”
· “Historically we can prove fairly well that there was a historical person with the name of ‘Jesus of Nazareth’, but was he, is he, also God?”
· “How does God work?”
· “How does life work?”
· “Who’s in charge here?”
· “Who’s in control?”
· “Can we control anything?”
· “Can I be sure I have another day?”

Each night, if we want to get some sleep, we have to let go. 999 nights out of 1,000 nights, or more, we don’t think of this and fall asleep. But there is that one night – when we lay there awake and wonder, “What if I don’t wake up in the morning?” If we fall asleep and don’t wake up, we won’t know – or will we? Smile.

There I said it – and if this happens to you tonight, and you can’t sleep and you feel lots of anxiety, you’ll be cursing me for bringing this up – unless you don’t get up tomorrow morning. Smile.

The question of “How long do I have?” also hits us before we go into the hospital for a routine operation – and they have to anesthetize us. People call us priests for prayers and the Sacrament of the Sick before going to the hospital for an operation.

I am a Catholic, in case of a major operation. I call a priest.

“I am a Catholic in case of an accident, please call a priest.”

How does all this work? How does life work?

There was a Hagar the Horrible cartoon where Hagar’s Viking ship is sinking and he cries out to the dark clouds in the sky above him – with bolts of lighting flashing, “Why me?” and a voice from the clouds yells back, “Why not?”

Boats sink. Storms come. Crashes happen. Lightning strikes. Cancer crawls and sometimes gallops. And some people live to 98, never had a cavity or a stay in a hospital – and die peacefully surrounded by children, grandchildren, great grand children and great, great grandchildren.

How does life work? Is God aware of my life, my circumstances? Does God pull strings? Or is that a bad image – that I am not a puppet?

So and so is doing so much better than me. Just look at his family, his house, his car, his vacations, his wallet, his smile.

How does life work? Is God involved in my life? How come bad things happen to good people? How come good things happen to bad people? Who is good? Who is bad? How does this all work?

My gut says, “Don’t go near this topic – because it’s tough stuff.”

Yet it’s September, and we’re at church and we have these readings, and it will be getting cooler soon, autumn is here, and the leaves will be preaching the same message in a month or so.

Life has its term and time limits. Birth. Death. Is there a Resurrection? Will I have a Spring after the winter of death? The sun sets. Will I live to see another sunrise?

God’s will. What exactly does “God’s will” mean?

What are your thoughts about “God’s Will?”

What are your thoughts when you pray in the Our Father, “Thy will be done!” and then you say it when you’re facing a tragedy?

SEMINARY

Somewhere, sometime in my second or third year of college I silently questioned something I heard a priest who had been in charge of us in the seminary say. He seemed to think what he did was God’s will. This showed up when he asked someone to leave. We called it “Being shipped”. It was not a nice moment. He said it was God’s will that so and so was leaving us.

Years and years later I found myself in a similar job and I had to evaluate and pass judgment on candidates for our community – to be priests or brothers – whether to recommend their staying or leaving. This was the toughest job I ever had in my life. I found myself unable to say – even though I prayed on each person – whether my decision and my recommendation for each person was God’s will or not. I always found myself saying, “Woooo! Stop. Hit the brake.” I could not go there.

I kept this question to myself – like so many of life’s big questions – and I often found myself saying, “Don’t be so sure!” – when someone says, “This is God’s will.”

In time I simply find myself saying, “My God’s Will button has just been pushed.”

How about you? Has your “God’s Will button” ever been pushed?

IDOLATRY

Somewhere along the line – perhaps driving along in the chapel of my car – where I do lots of heavy duty thinking – listening to topics often much better than anything on the radio – it hit me, “Saying this is God’s will is idolatry at times.”

“Wait!” I said to myself. “Repeat what you just said.” I had recorded it in my brain. “Saying. ‘This is God’s will’ is idolatry at times.”

Wow. That’s a heavy.

If I made a stone statue or a wooden figure and said, “This is God!” that would be clear idolatry.

But would it be idolatry to say something is God’s will can also be idolatry at times?

Yes. That’s my thought out – hesitant message – in this homily.

I’m saying, “It’s idolatry to say I know God’s will – because if one is saying that, they are saying, “I know the mind of God. I know the will of God. I know why and how God works.”

Don’t we get angry when someone else says, “I know why you did what you did or said?”

And we counter with: “Are you a mind reader? How can you know my motives?”

So if we can’t read another’s mind or will or motive, how can we know the motives of God?

Now of course, that’s what the pondering of the scriptures is all about – which is the pondering of deep prayer over long periods of time – words from Jesus, prophets and holy people – given to us by Jewish saints and sages as well as New Testament saints.

FIRST READING

In today’s first reading from Isaiah 55: 6-9 we heard, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my thoughts above your thoughts.”

These words from Second Isaiah – dated some 500 years plus before Christ – need to be brought to prayer – in this church, or the Eucharistic chapel, or the chapel of your car – or when walking – or in your prayer chair on your porch – or when you can’t sleep - or when talking to each other about heavy duty things.

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel story from Matthew  20: 1-16 is about the vineyard. It  begins with the familiar words: “Jesus told his disciples this parable….”

Jesus gives us this parable to chew on – be intrigued by – to challenge us – to apply it to our lives.

It’s like a dentist probe – oooh!

Everyone got the same wage and some only worked one hour.

Is God free to do as God wishes with his own gift of creation?

These texts were told when babies died a lot more than they do today and life expectancy in Christ’s time was much iffier than today – and men could drop their wives for flimsy reasons – and there were lots of diseases and sicknesses – that people had no cue or cure for them.

I am alive today. Tomorrow morning I’ll find out if I have another day.

Who can say God is unfair? Who can say, “Life is supposed to be fair.” What is the plan? Is their a plan?

This question can bring us to Atheism or to our knees – to anger or to deeper prayer – or to pinch ourselves and thank God for this moment.

CONCLUSION

It seems unfair to me – to toss this much out and then to say, “In conclusion”.

But who says, “Life is fair?”

I know it’s my will to end here, and not God’s will, but I hope and pray this topic of the “God’s Will” Button – will have the same impact on you that Isaiah’s words and Jesus’ words had on their listeners.

NEEDLE AND THREAD

Sitting there, me,
a roll of thread,
sitting there, you,
a needle,
till you came
and asked
if we finally want
to sew together
the fabric of our lives.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2008

THE BORE

He’s only
talking out loud
to himself.
Listen:
he doesn’t
even know
we’re here.

© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2008