IT’S NOT GOOD

TO BE ALONE

Sometimes, when I don’t get my way,
sometimes all through supper
I try to advertise my anger
and my frustration
on the TV screen on my face.
I try to force everyone to wonder
if they did something wrong.
Sometimes someone squirms
and asks, “Is anything wrong?”
That’s my opening.
“Well, now that you ask, yes.
Yes, I’m mad and you know why.
So let’s leave it at that!”
That always gets them.
Why should I have to suffer alone?

© Andy Costello,
Reflections 2008

*

AFTER THE STORM

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “After the Storm!”

The theme of “storm” ties together today’s first reading and today’s gospel. Think about storms and what happened to you as a result of storms.

QUESTIONAIRE
Looking at your life, what have been the storms you’ve experienced?

Were you out in the bay on a boat – and a sudden storm came up?

Were you in a plane and lightning was striking, winds were howling and the pilot was having trouble trying to land the plane? Then all clapped when he or she announced, “Phew! We made it folks.”

Were you ever in an earthquake, a hurricane, a really crippling snow storm?

Did Isabel – the big 2003 hurricane storm here in Annapolis and elsewhere damage your rugs and your foundations?

Have you experienced a sudden shock because of a death or a divorce – a total surprise that shook the foundations of your faith and soul?

Have you ever lost a job – been fired – and you didn’t see it coming and it took a lot to get up off the floor and start again?

Have you ever been accused of something falsely – and the mud stuck for the longest time?

Looking at your life what have been the storms you’ve experienced?

Looking at your life, did you change as a result of a storm? How so?

MEMORIES

We all have memories of storms – nature’s storms as well as inner psychological storms.

I remember a summer Sunday afternoon. I’m a kid at Bliss Park in Brooklyn. We’re up on the hill under our favorite tree on a blanket eating sandwiches and having tea in red cups from our well used family thermos bottle. (Do they still make those thermos bottles?I remember being fascinated by the silver mirro insides.) Suddenly, a summer storm came at us. There I was a small kid running, running, home – being drenched and soaked in my t-shirt, shorts and sneakers – and beating everyone home – but the door was locked and I didn’t have a key.

I remember a summer vacation moment. I was in an aluminum canoe with a cousin at the wrong end of Little Sebago Lake in Maine and a really nasty lightning storm came up.

Like everyone I’ve experienced deaths and various other kinds of storms. As priest I’ve heard people tell me how they lost everything because of a flooding or a divorce. I remember a nun telling about being in her convent on the coast of Louisiana and the loudspeakers starting screaming at 2 AM in the morning – telling everyone to immediately get outside and get out of here – because a big hurricane is heading right in this direction. This was well before all the TV monitors and tracking equipment. The whole group got into a bus in bathrobes, pajamas and slippers, and got out of there and the whole convent building went out into the Gulf of Mexico.

TODAY’S READINGS

In today’s first reading Elijah is running for his life – hiding from the soldiers of Ahab and Jezebel who are hunting him down – and he hides out in a cave.

This story from First Kings can be used for reflection on where God is in the struggles of life that might be chasing us.

Yes, we cry out to God when the storm crashes into us. “Oh my God!” Everyone, even the atheist, in the moment of crash and crush says, “Holy!” something.

Elijah is hiding in a cave in the mountain for shelter and he hears God telling him to leave the cave and stand outside on a ledge or the edge of the mountain. He has 4 experiences: wind, earthquake, fire and then a tiny whispering sound. And the story in First Kings ends this way: “When he heard this, Elijah hid his face in his cloak and went and stood at the entrance of the cave.”

What is this story in the First Book of Kings trying to tell us?

I’m not sure – but what I take from it – is the reality of “Afterwards!”

What we do afterwards – after the storm – after the death – after the accident – after the hellish nightmare can help us see where the big truths are. Yes, people come to church – yes people scream at God and to God when the storm is raging – but what do we do afterwards?

It’s my experience that it’s good if people take alone time – escape time – quiet time – mountain time – cave time – after storms – to sort things out.

Every time I have a chance to talk to someone who just lost a loved one – I tell them, “Make sure you walk!” I say, “Take time to be alone and walk in the early morning or early evening. Walk. Our family has done this big time when we lost each other.”

I say, “Breathe. Catch your breath.”

“Listen. Listen carefully to the quiet breeze.”

In today’s second reading from Romans Paul makes a similar observation when he tells folks he joins his “conscience with the Holy Spirit in bearing me witness that I have great sorrow and constant anguish of heart.”

We don’t have to go it alone.

One great prayer is, “Come Holy Spirit!” After a great tragedy, take a rosary and just sit there or walk somewhere and say and pray on each bead slowly, “Come Holy Spirit!” breathing in and out.

One of the words for the Spirit is “ruah” in Hebrew. It means breath, air, wind. It's the breath of God, the wind of God, that God sent, blew, pushed, out into over the waters, into the darkness, into the emptiness, and God's word, the breath of his mouth, yelled, "Let there be light!" And on and on God created the heavens and the earth. [Cf. Genesis 1:2] Another Hebrew word is "naphach." It’s what God breathed into the first human He made as described in the Book of Genesis. [Cf. Genesis 2:7]

That text in Genesis is very real. When a baby is born, they want to make sure it’s breathing. When someone is dying, we see how their breathing can be labored – and then they take their last breath.

Breathe in and out! That’s one of the most basic spiritual practices.

When you come into church – after the Holy Water and the sign of the cross to renew your baptism – sit down, close your eyes, and breathe, to renew the gift of life you received at birth from your mom.

Prayer is gently breathing in the Spirit of God – and walking or being with God.

In today’s gospel from Matthew we have one of the several gospel stories about storms on the Lake.

Commentators have various takes on this scene. Artists love the scene for big canvas paintings.

Taking it to prayer, I see the scene to be everyone’s scene when a storm hits our life.

Matthew tells us Jesus is alone in prayer on a mountain – just like Elijah in the first reading. The disciples, the church, all of us are out here in the storm – and Jesus comes to be with us in the storm.

Jesus utters the words we need to hear, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.”

Peter speaks out for all of us, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” And Jesus calls Peter to “Come!” Peter does and then falters and then screams the second, the deeper prayer, “Lord, save me!”
And Jesus tells us that we don’t have enough faith and we have too much doubt.

Then the gospel tells us the wind died down.

The storm ends.

It’s then that they realize, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”

It’s the same realization that the centurion made at Calvary – after that storm was over he realized, “Truly this was the Son of God.”

CONCLUSION

My conclusion would be: yes there are storms in this life; but there is also the afterwards – the picking up the pieces. Everything might look like hell – but when we see people working together to recover, we get glimpses of heaven.

My stress would be the importance of afterwards.

The other day I wrote a short poem or piece that hit me during my morning shower – this was two days before I put together this first draft homily. Let me close with a first draft of that poem. It’s entitled, “Afterwards!”

AFTERWARDS

Afterwards,
aftertaste,
afterthought,
after all
is said and done,
who said
there isn’t a hell;
who said
we can't work

to make
a heaven as well?

* Picture on top of a street in Derry, Northern Ireland - after the storm of years of "The Troubles" there. May 2008. To see picture up close, put your mouse cursor arrow on the picture and tap, tap, with your mouse. The painting on the wall is a drawing of "Guernica" by Picasso. Guernica is the small Basque village in Northern Spain that was bombed and attacked with approval by Franco in 1937. Pablo Picasso was asked to do the centerpiece for the Spanish Pavillion at the 1937 World's Fair in Paris - and after hearing about Guernica he rushed to his studio and did this large painting. Using Google or whatever search engine you use, type in "Guernica" and study this painting and its meanings, etc.

SWEAT

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Sweat!”

WEDDINGS

This past week I found myself trying to keep calm about yesterday. There was to be no air conditioning and we had 3 weddings coming up and I had the third one – at 3 PM.

Obviously, I realized the bride and groom, the families, all want the wedding day to go perfectly – and I realized without air conditioning, we were going to have to sweat it out.

I told the bride at the rehearsal practice on Friday evening that I didn’t know whether to call her on Monday, or wait till Friday so she wouldn’t be worrying about Saturday all week. She said, “Thank you for not calling!” It was warm in here at 3 PM yesterday but we got through the weddings – thank God.

CONFESSIONS

Then I found myself in the confessional over there from 4:15 till 4:58. It was a sweat box. Sitting in there I began to think about Sweat Lodges. I heard about them, but never was in a Sweat Lodge. I thought, “Relax. People pay good money to go to sweat lodges for spiritual growth and healing and you’re in one right now for free.”

About twenty years ago I had done a lot of reading and checking out Native American culture and religion – but I don’t remember finding out too much about sweat lodges. So last night I looked it up and found out that many cultures in the history of the world had places where people would go to sweat: saunas, steam baths, and sweat lodges.

I found out they could be New Age or Old Times or what have you. It's an intriguing exercise: wanting to sweat - and what that can do for a person. I'm sure if you knew you were going to hear a sermon on this today, you would have come wearing your "sweats".

SWEAT LODGES

Some of you might know about sweat lodges personally. I just know what I heard from people here and there and what I picked up last night doing a little bit of homework on sweat lodges.

All in all, it sounds like it would be an interesting experience. The symbolism seems very rich. Before you do the sweat lodge ritual, the leaders ask a person to do a serious 24 hour fast. Then when it’s time to enter the small enclosed tent like structure, one bends down and crawls in. One climbs into the womb – a very dark place. There is a fire pit in the center as well as an altar. There can be chanting, drums, or silence. Some practices have 4 sessions - 4 rounds – each taking 30 to 45 minutes. I tried to figure out what goes on during these four rounds. One description has 4 recognitions – for the 4 rounds.

The first round would focus on recognizing the need to get in touch with the spirit world or the Spirit, the Creator – to grasp what is the purpose and direction of life.

The second round would focus on recognizing the need for courage, strength, endurance, honesty – especially honesty – and the need to call upon God for help in all this.

The third round would focus on recognizing the need for knowledge and individual prayer in one’s life.

The fourth round would have as its focus recognizing where I need healing and growth in my life.

Obviously, the religious aspects are not Christian – unless they have Christian Sweat Lodges. That would be interesting. Maybe we should have a Mass each weekend like this one today – no air conditioning. You come into this room, this church, this sacred space. You climb into these very uncomfortable seats, you sweat, and you get in touch with what’s important – and what we need to do to live a good life.

The main stresses in sweat lodges seem to be: purification – sweat it out; connecting with the community; connecting with those who have gone before us – parents and grandparents; honesty; and clarifying our vision of life. It’s a vision quest.

Christians would put it this way: “Thy will be done!”

DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF

In looking up stuff about Sweat Lodges I spotted the book by Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff – with the sub-title, "and It’s All Small Stuff". I remember reading that book when it came out. It certainly gave practical points for reflection – like not keeping score on who is doing what when it comes to chores around the house etc.

Because that book was so successful a dozen or so books came out with the same theme. For example, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Teens. He stresses to teens to see the good stuff your parents are doing. Don’t just complain – compliment. “Turn down the drama” etc.

Then I noticed in reading about this that some people disagreed by saying, “I hope some people sweat the small stuff.” Who wants to get a fork in the restaurant with small pieces of pasta still stuck in the prongs? Who’s checking passports on who’s taking flying lessons?

ONE CONCLUSION

Life has small stuff – but there is also big stuff to sweat about.

As I looked at the bride and groom’s foreheads yesterday I could see small beads of sweat. But that was small stuff compared to the main reason for being there: to take their vows and make their life time commitment to each other with the help of God.

So I disagree with the subtitle of the book about “Don’t sweat the small stuff" when it says "And It's All Small Stuff."

There is big stuff – the important stuff, the stuff of today’s readings for example: to thirst for God – to come to the water of God - as today’s first reading from Isaiah puts it; to make sure nothing separates us from the love of Christ as we heard in today’s second reading; and to do our part to make sure nobody goes hungry – to bring our 5 loaves and 2 fishes to the table – as we heard in today’s gospel.

Amen.

T N T

“Can I talk to you?”

“Okay.”

“I have a complaint.”

“All right, what is it?”

“Well, before I speak, I want to know if you are going to do something about this.”

“Well, is your mind already made up?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess you don’t want to talk. You want to tell.”

“What! What do you mean by that?”

“Dynamite! Now, we’re talking.”

STORIES:
WHAT ARE THE STORIES
IN YOUR SPIRITUAL REPERTOIRE?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Stories: What Are The Stories In Your Spiritual Repertoire?”

Part of our spirituality – our spiritual outlook – how we do life – how we deal with different situations – is our use of stories. All of us have stories that help us for the various situations we run into.

What are the stories in your spiritual repertoire or in your storeroom – an image for our mind and memory from today’s gospel.

There’s other tricks and practices that we use: sayings, principles, breathing exercises, walking, journal writing, agenda lists, making and taking time for prayer, etc. I’m focusing on stories in this homily because that’s one of the things we can focus on from today’s readings.

FOR EXAMPLE: THE FOX RIVER

Let me give an example of what I’m trying to talk about.

Three weeks ago I’m reading a book by a Methodist minister – James Moore: The Top Ten List For Christians – with the subtitle, “Priorities for Faithful Living”. One of the chapters is, “You Don’t Have To Cross the Fox River Until You Get To It.”

In the chapter he tells a story from way back in the time of Thomas Jefferson. He and a group of men were traveling by horseback across the country. They were going to cross the Fox River in the morning. They are sitting in a tavern the night before.

One man says, “I hear the best way to cross the Fox River is to stay on one’s horse.”

Another guy says, “No, the best way is to walk your horse across.”

Another man says, “I heard it’s smarter to send a scout up river and a scout down river till you find the best spot – put a marker – and then come back and get the rest of the group.”

Another man said the smartest move is to build a raft.

On and on they talked till a famous trapper – Trapper William comes into the tavern. They all say, “Good thing you’re here Trapper William. We heard you crossed the Fox River many times. What’s the best way to cross the Fox River?”

Trapper William says, “From my experience I have learned the best way to cross the Fox River is not to cross it till you come to it.”

I read that story and said to myself. Yeah. Good. I get it.

Then, when I heard last Sunday that they would not have air conditioning here next Saturday and next Sunday, I found myself saying, “Don’t cross the river till you get to it.”

I said that because we had heard they were going to do this in June and it didn’t happen – and we were agitated a bit – worried about brides etc. and the heat at the later masses on Saturday and Sunday.

Without knowing it, I had incorporated that story into my repertoire. Then when I heard them say, “They’ll be no air conditioning here next Saturday, I found myself saying once more, “Don’t cross the river till you get to it.”

QUESTIONS

Will that story become part of my repertoire of the way I think – my spirituality – from now on? Time will tell.

Does all this just happen – and you can’t make it just happen? I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about this – that’s why I’m putting together this sermon.

TAKE TODAY’S FIRST READING: AN UNDERSTANDING HEART

Today’s first reading is a regular story that is found in many religions and world literature. You have one wish or three wishes. What will they be?

If you had one wish, what would you wish for?

To win the lottery? To have one of your kids who is messed up, to become straightened out – to retire – to get a job you love – to be free of cancer - what have you?

If you had one wish, and it would be granted, what would that wish be?

Solomon asks for the gift of an understanding heart – and because he didn’t ask for riches, a long life, and all those other things, God grants him his wish – along with riches and a long life. Amazing.

We too can have that wish – the understanding heart part – by wishing it, praying for it, and then working on having an understanding heart.

That same book by James Moore has a great story that can become part of our repertoire. It’s part of Steven Covey’s repertoire. As you know Steven Covey teaches folks how to use and manage their time and life better. [Cf. Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Leadership.]

He gets on a New York subway car – on a sort of quiet Sunday morning. There is peace and quiet in the train as it moves along. The train comes to a stop and this father walks in with all of his kids – and they proceed to do make all kinds of noise while moving around – disturbing the peace full time. The father says nothing. The people are all furious. Finally Steven Covey says to the father. “Do you realize your children are disturbing a lot of people?”

And the father says, “Yeah, you’re right. We just left the hospital. Their mother died an hour ago. I guess they are out of sorts and I am too.”

Steven Covey brought that story into his spiritual repertoire and uses it when he runs into an obnoxious person or a messy mess. Maybe I don’t know what happened to make this person or this situation this way.

Haven’t we used a story like that or the old Indian Saying, “Don’t judge a person till you walked a mile in their moccasins.”

For the same situation I have used in my mind – in my spiritual repertoire, the story of the Boston Strangler. I heard someone talk about his upbringing and then said, “If you knew what they did to him, you’d understand.”

TREASURE IN THE FIELD, THE PEARL OF GREAT PRICE

Today’s gospel has three stories about treasures: the buried treasure in the field, the fishing net, and the pearl of great price.

Jesus tossed out all kinds of stories, parables, with the hope some of these stories will stick, will grow within us, will help us.

What are your stories?

Are all of us searching for the key – the one answer that will answer all other answers? Are we searching for meaning? What is the treasure we are looking for?

It’s the nature of a treasure to be hidden – that when we find it, everything is changed, and all other pursuits – pale in comparison. Jesus’ message in these stories is to keep searching.

The stories often have twists and turns – surprises and switches.

With regards treasure stories I have heard several stories that point out that we already have it, but we don’t know it.

There is the story of the Rabbi who is told in a dream to go to Krakow and under a bridge you’ll find a treasure under the north end of the bridge – so he leaves everything and heads for Krakow, goes under the bridge and starts looking. A bridge guard hears something going on down there and climbs down and finds the Rabbi. “What are you doing down here?” The Rabbi says sheepishly, “You’re not going to believe this, but I had a dream last night that there was a treasure under this bridge that I would find if I come here.” The guard laughs, “I had a dream last night that there is a house that has a Rabbi about 50 miles from here and if I go there I’ll find a treasure in his house in the wall behind his fire place.”

The Rabbi runs home. Sure enough. It was there all the time.

Jack Shea tells the same story about a high school teacher who gets 25 handkerchief boxes every Christmas from his students. He stopped unwrapping them, knowing them by size, shape and look, and he just tosses them into the shelf in his closet – and takes one out whenever he needs fresh handkerchiefs. Surprise he opens up a box and discovers this really expensive pocket watch inside – that might have been there for years.

You never know.

One more. My favorite treasure story is the story of the diamond that I must have used a dozen times already in sermons. There’s no problem with repetition. Jesus repeated himself over and over again. That’s the way this stuff sticks and becomes part of our spiritual repertoire.

A man is walking down a country road on a nice bright not too humid summer morning. Up ahead he spots a travelor in monk’s robes. He catches up with them and the two make small talk. “Nice day?” “How are you?” “Where are you from? Where are you headed.”

Near noon time the monk says to the traveler, “Are you hungry? I have some nice sandwiches?”
“Okay, good,” says the traveler.

The monk says there’s a nice spot just ahead that’s perfect and it has wonderful spring water.

They stop and there’s a nice clear stream of water down below. The monk opens up his back pack and takes out this gigantic diamond – as big as a tennis ball.

The stranger sees it and goes, "Wow!"

The monk takes out two cups and goes down to the water and brings back two cups of cold delicious water. Then he gives the stranger a sandwich.

The stranger says, “Is that a real diamond?”

“Yes,” says the monk. "I found it downstream this morning when I was having breakfast. Here, do you want it?”

The stranger says, “You’d give that to me?”

"Yes. Here it’s yours." So he gives the stranger the diamond.

Well with that the man couldn’t taste the sandwich or the water. All he could taste was the diamond – and in his mind he says, “The first fork in the road, whatever way he’s going, I’m going the other way.”

They finish lunch and start walking . They come to a crossroads and the stranger asks the monk, “Which way are you headed?”

The monk points to the right and the stranger says, “Well, I’m going ahead!”

They shake hands and go their separate ways.

A half mile down the road the stranger stops. He turns around. He runs back to the crossroads. He then heads after the monk. He catches him and hands him back the diamond saying, “Thanks for this treasure, but you have something even more valuable, the ability to let go of the diamond. Could you give me that.”

The monk says, “You got it.”

End of story.

You get the message, the meaning of the story, right? You got it.

CONCLUSION

Talk with each other about your stories – the stories in your repertoire that help your spirituality. You got them.

MIXED UP

INTRODUCTION


The title of my homily is, “Mixed Up.”

A theme that hit me as I read today’s readings was this: We are a mixture – a mix – a blending – a combination of so much. So the title of my homily is: “Mixed Up”

TODAY’S GOSPEL

Today’s gospel is a mixture of three stories – a story about a man with a field in which he planted wheat – but an enemy came and mixed the field with weeds. The second story is about a mustard seed which someone planted in the earth. The tiny seed, combined with earth, sun and water, becomes a large plant – big enough for the birds of the air to dwell in its branches. And the third story is about a woman mixing yeast with wheat flour to make loaves of bread.

TODAY’S FIRST READING

Today’s first reading from Wisdom tells us that we have within us strengths and weaknesses – power and hesitation – and even though God is a God of power and might, God is also a God of forgiveness and lenience.

TODAY’S SECOND READING

Today’s second reading from Romans tells us that we are a mixture of inner whining and groaning – and in the mix of our groanings, there is the Spirit of God interceding with inexpressible groanings trying to help us.

MIXTURES

Life exists because of mixtures – mom and dad, seed and egg.

Life exists on this planet, because we have earth and water, lots of water. The sun is just in the right spot – at the right distance – to be the only place in our solar system we know that supports life right now. But obviously and unobviously, to exist our planet needs moon and stars and a mixture of lots of other unknowns for us to be alive at this moment – here and now.

Life is a mixture. For us to exist, our parents met wherever they met – and their parents met wherever they met – the stuff of story and puzzle and pinching ourselves for being alive.

That’s why I love to quote the old saying from Groucho Marx, “If our parents didn’t have kids, chances are we won’t either.”

Life is a mix of millions and millions of different circumstances. If one was missed, we wouldn’t exist.

Life is intricate, complex – surprise and serendipity.

MAKE A FEW POINTS AND GET OUT OF THE PULPIT

Let me make a few points and get out of this pulpit.

Yesterday, working on this sermon, the theme and thought of mixture hit me. Then the question: where does one go with this theme?

After a mix of lots of thoughts, I came up with these four points.

1) IN CONTROL AND OUT OF OUR CONTROL

The first point that hit me was this: there are things in life that are in our control and there are things out of our control.

We’re driving our car, but we’re not driving that other car. He or she might be on their cell phone, or they have been drinking, or they didn’t service their car, or what have you, and they cause an accident and tie up traffic forever. We can do our best, but there’s the rest that’s out of our control.

In the first gospel story today, the farmer was in control of what went into his field: wheat. But the enemy planted the weeds.

I like to picture the human brain as a field – in which lots of things are planted.

What’s planted in your field?

Imagine what’s in the brains – what’s deposited, what’s saved in the long term memory banks of everyone of us here in this church?

Everyday – memories are triggered – scenes from long ago. Someone mentions Toronto or New Orleans or a blood drive or a car accident, and immediately we have recall – and if we’re the type who cuts people off in the middle of their stories, we say, “That reminds me of the time I was at a convention in New Orleans.” Then someone else cuts in and says, “I went to a convention once in Denver for Tupperware.” And on and on and on.

Everything we see is planted in our memory. Some of what we see is in our control. We can take the remote and click elsewhere. While at the computer there are scenes and sites we can avoid. More and more men are planting on the hard drive of their memory pornography. Not smart. It can become an addiction. It can damage respect for women – and another can come upon it by accident – for example children.

But there are lots of scenes that we can’t control. How do we deal with that? We might have to accept the message of the gospel. We can’t go into a brain and wipe out what we have experienced. We need to make peace with our past – and make better decisions to control what can be controlled in our future. Everything sticks. Garbage in – garbage in. Beautiful music in – beautiful sounds within.

Take gossip or simply talking to another about another. When we are the speaker, there is that moment – that key moment – when we say to ourselves, “I don’t have to say this.” But if we choose to speak, to tell the story about another’s affair or drunk driving crash, that only we know about, then the other hears it – and they now see that person in a different light.

If I said to you, we have a speaker coming up at the end of this Mass and she is going to tell you about a program to help people with AIDS from indiscriminate sex and prostitution and she’s been there and done that, you will not be able to hear her without the comments about her that I just made. I just made that up, but it’s now in your memory.

So point one, some things are in our control and some things aren’t.

Sometimes we have to learn to accept that weeds are part of life.

2) DON’T EXPECT TO GET WHAT YOU DIDN’T PLANT

If you want mustard, don’t shake the catsup bottle on your hot dog.

If you want mustard, don’t plant tomato plants.

If you want wheat bread, don’t buy rye bread.

If you want to enjoy your kids’ kids, spend time with your kids when they are kids.

3) CHECK THE INGREDIENTS ON THE SIDE OF THE PACKAGE

Too often people who feel mixed up - and angry - don't step back and think. Think of Auguste Rodin's statue, "The Thinker!" Sit there and think. Think about life. Think about reality. Think about yourself and the others in your life. Compare!

Since life is a mix, it’s smart to step back and see what the ingredients are – to read what’s on the side of the package.

If you want to love yourself in a healthy sense, find out who you are. The old saying written in Greek on the wall of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi still makes sense: "Gnoti seauton” ["Know yourself!] Step back. Self reflect. Learn from each experience! Learn to accept reality. If we are 5 foot 9 and 54 years old, the odds are we’re probably not going to grow to 6 foot 2.

If you want to get married, find out about the person you’re marrying. Talk. Communicate. Clarify. Check more than their smile.

The old sign in Roman markets – in Latin, “Caveat Emptor!” [“Let the buyer beware!”] also makes sense. It too contains great wisdom.

Read good books. Mix with good people. Walk away from people who drain. Okay, sometimes we can’t. We didn’t pick who sits with whom at the wedding banquet. Plant good stuff in the great field – called the human brain – located on top of our shoulders.

I keep reading a book with the title, “A General Theory of Love,” by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon, three psychiatrists, brain researches and teachers in California. It’s a marvelous mix of philosophy, science, religion, poetry, etc.

On page 148 in a section called “The Big Picture” it states, “Everything a person is and everything he knows resides in the tangled thicket of his intertwined neurons. These fateful, tiny bridges number in the quadrillions, but they spring from just two sources: DNA and daily life. The genetic code calls some synapses into being, while experience engenders and modifies others.”

There it is: nature and nurture.

There it is – the things we have control over and the things we don’t.

There it is: the serenity prayer – to change the things I can change, to accept the things I cannot change – and to pray for the wisdom to know the difference.

Read the ingredients on the side of the package.

In other words, I look like my parents and brother and two sisters. My two sisters would add, “Unfortunately”. So we all have had a great mix of similar and so many different experiences. It’s what makes family picnics interesting.

4) WE’RE A MIX OF SIN AND GRACE – NEEDING REDEMPTION

We’re mixed up. Looking at our life, we have to give ourselves and those around us, mixed reviews. Nobody bats .1000. The only person I heard of who hit over .400 was Ted Williams. [Okay there is also Rogers Hornsby, George Sisler, Ty Cobb and others.]

We strike out. We pop up. We hit into a double play and end the inning. We make errors. Our spouse doesn’t live up to our expectations. Neither do we. We have good days and bad days. We know our nicks and scars on close inspection. We didn’t deliver on our childhood dreams. We tried. Sometimes we gave up. We’re better that we thought we could be, but there are days we’re worse. It’s called marriage. It’s called life. It’s called being a human being.

We’re fields with wheat and weeds. We’re grapes that glisten in the sun and look beautiful in the morning dew – but sometimes we’re crushed, but hopefully we’re the type of wine, someone will like.

We need redemption. Jesus, God and Human, what a great mix, who came and said it’s okay to fail, to die on the cross, as long as we rise from our small and big deaths.

Today we Redemptorists celebrate our feast day, The Most Holy Redeemer – Jesus, who received mixed reviews – Hosannas and death threats – but lived life to the full - and Resurrection forever.

We, unlike Jesus, make mistakes. We need Redemption, Healing, Forgiveness, getting back up after the falls.

In Eugene O’Neill’s play, Annie Christie, one of the characters says, and I think speaks for all of us, “We’re all poor nuts and things happen, and we yust get mixed in wrong, that’s all.” (Eugene O’ Neill in Annie Christie [1922]. Act. IV)

So we’re a mixture of right and wrong, wheat and weeds, sin and grace, good days and bad, but as Christians, we would add, "There’s more than just saying, 'That’s all'. " There’s always more than, "That's all!" or "That's it!" There’s Christ walking down our streets – knocking on our doors - entering our lives – sitting down to table with us - mixing with us at each Eucharist, and then walking with us into the weeks of our life.

CONCLUSION

Let me conclude by saying: "In this sermon I tossed out a few seeds, some of which might stick. Jesus would add, 'Some will miss.' – but that’s another gospel and another sermon. I'm assuming, I'm presuming, some of what I said, will mix with the mix called you. Go figure."

WHO SAYS SO?

“There are some things you just don’t do to another person?”
“Who says so?”
“Well, there are some things you just know without needing any explanation.”
“Who says so?”
“Well, there are some questions that really can’t be answered. People just know.”
“Who says so?”
“There, that’s one of them?”
“Who says so?”
“Sometimes you just can’t win.”
“Who says so?”

© Andy Costello,

Reflections 2008