GROAN

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Groan.” G R O A N – [Spell it out] – Groan.

MAKE SOME GROANS

Unnnnnhhhnn. Oooooooh. Aaaaargh. Oh no.

Uggggh. Rrrrrrrrrrr. Uhhhnnnnnnnn.

We make those sounds when we see all those cars in front of us, backed up for miles in a traffic jam we weren’t expecting. Uhhhh. Oh no. Uhhh. We’re never going to get to the shore.

We make groan sounds when it rains on our parade or snows on our surprise party for our parents, and it’s icy, icy, icy or messy, messy, messy.

It’s the sound folks make in the Midwest when they come home to their flooded home or the folks in the far west make when they come back to their burnt out home.

It’s the scream folks make when they get the news that a loved one is killed in Iraq or Afghanistan or anywhere.

LETTER TO THE ROMANS

It’s a word in today’s second reading from Paul’s Letter to the Romans. He writes, “We know that all creation is groaning [sustenazei] - in labor pains even until now; and not only that, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, we also groan [stenagomen] within ourselves as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies”

Groan.

To be human is to groan.

To be of the earth is to groan.

Deep down underground, underneath the earth’s crust, there are the tectonic plates that shift and slide, creep and creak, rub and rasp and make underground sounds when they buckle, rift, fault, break. When the earth quakes, monitors, just like the heart monitors on a patient in an intensive care unit a hospital – go up and down. They write in crooked lines that things are moving – shifting and at times there are great groans, great earthquakes – bursting volcanoes – what have you and all those in it’s path better get out of the way.

Deep in each person, underneath the smile, underneath the crust called our skull, there are deep groans. You can hear them when kids are going the wrong way or a spouse is dying of cancer or a marriage is breaking apart and little kids are being pulled this way and that. If you take a seat in the corridor in any nursing home and just sit there all alone, you’ll hear groans, screams, mutterings, calls, the cries of inmates, the groans of the aged.

IMAGES OF ST. PAUL

St. Paul uses the image of a woman in labor pains – groaning – and finally a child is born into our world. He says the same thing happens at the end of our life – as we leave this womb and go into the next life.

Death has powerful and sometimes scary groans.

DEEP PRAYER

St. Paul uses this same reality of human groans – as a symbol of prayer. Deep prayer is deep groaning.

If you want to grow in prayer, just sit there and monitor your groanings, your whinings, your gripes. Get in touch with your inner sounds. Monitor them. Write them down. Sometimes you can hear your values being walked on – stepped on. Ouch!

What bugs you? What burns you? What angers you? What frustrates you? What rubs you like strong sandpaper the wrong way?

Tell me your groans and I tell you where you’re hurting? Tell me your cries and I’ll tell you who you are?

CRIES … BUT SILENT

I have a whole book called, “Cries … But Silent.” [1981] It’s out of print now, and I always thought it was my best book. It simply was the cries I heard people tell me as a priest. I would listen. They would cry. And sometimes, I would say, “Can I put what you just said into a poem? It won’t have your name on it or anything that could identify you in it. But it might help someone else.” If they hesitated, I’d say, “Okay, no, no problem.” Confidence – keeping confidence is absolutely sacred – as in the Seal of Confession – as in the when someone goes to a counselor. Breaking confidence is a sin. Haven’t we groaned when someone broke a secret. Sacred trust is very, very important. So I was very sensitive to this and I always asked. Sometimes people would say okay.

Surprise. Something else would happen. Someone entirely different would come and say, “You were talking about me in that poem, in that piece you wrote.” If they said that, I knew I was touching a universal groan.

THREE POEMS
Let me read to you three examples to show you what I mean about groans – the groans I’ve heard people tell me that I turned into poems with their permission.

MISS SUITCASE

Kept in the closet,
Stuck in the basement
of planes,
While you fly first class.

Forgotten,
Used,
Forgotten again,
Abused,
Shoved under beds,
Banged around.

Well, someday soon
You’re going to
stand there
stupid,
At your airport merry-go-round,
waiting for me.

And me,
Sir Prize,
I’ll be on another flight

BROKEN

It broke
as he tried to clasp it
around her neck,
standing there behind her as usual,
making up her eyes in the mirror
before the party --
and without turning she said,
“Stupid!” with her eyes
into the mirror ,
and he made up his mind
it was finally broken.

LID

A nervous violence
flowed within him,
below his locked mouth,
his tight jaw.
You knew it was there.
You could hear its noise
from time to time,
like a cab going over
a loose manhole cover
in the middle of the night.

Groans? What are your groans? What are your gripes? What causes ripples and agita in your underbelly?

TODAY’S GOSPEL

In today’s gospel we have the Parable of the Sower – and it tells us there are 4 types of people. It’s a test? Which one of the four types of seed am I?

I have a life of Christ that I have been writing on and off for years now. I picture Christ as a teenager – slipping out of the carpenter shop in Nazareth and walking out of town from time to time. He climbs a slight hill. He sits down leaning against a tree. He looks down at a field below.

Down below there’s a farmer planting seed. He notices how some seed misses, but most make it into the good ground. The farmer finishes and heads back to his home. Jesus on his way back to Nazareth stops to see some the scene up close. He notices how some seed landed on the hard path. Some landed on rocky, horrible soil. Some landed in good soil, but soil busy with thorns and thistles. Some landed on good soil.

Years later when preaching he discovered preaching is like farming. You toss the seed. You tell the stories. Some folks are hard like the road. Some folks are shallow. They have no roots. Some folks have depth, but they have too many thorns growing in their schedules. And some folks are good soil. They get it. They understand the word and bear fruit a hundred or sixty or thirty fold.

It’s the thickheaded ones, it’s the shallow ones, it’s the talented, but too busy ones, who caused Jesus the groans – the inner screams. But he kept preaching, kept sowing, kept knowing what Isaiah had said centuries before. My word – like the rain, like the snow, comes down and waters the earth – giving bread to the one who sows. My word is never empty.

CONCLUSION

Thanks to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, 4 great sacks of seeds, Jesus’ words keeps being planted in human fields – and keep bringing forth results.

And Jesus big screams – his powerful groans – from the cross are still being heard – and people seeing Christ on the Cross – the great symbol of Christianity – say within with a softer groan, “Thank you Jesus, you know what I’m going through. You have ears that hear and eyes that see. Thank you. Thank you.”

SPIRITUALITY & RELIGION

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Spirituality and Religion.”

Do you have a minute? Better, “Do you have ten minutes?”

I would like to address an issue that has been appearing in the news more and more. And if it’s appearing in magazines and TV, etc., I assume it’s appearing in your thoughts as well.

So I decided to pull together some first draft comments about “Spirituality and Religion”. Maybe we’re on the same page or maybe you’re somewhere else or what have you.

COMMENTS

You hear things like, “Spirituality is increasing; religion is decreasing.”

Or, “I go to church – but I get my spirituality from nature or music or exercising or reading or Yoga or breathing or Quiet Waters Park.”

Or, “I’m spiritual, not religious.”

Or there is the bumper sticker that Martin Marty, a Lutheran theologian, quotes in an article entitled, “Religion Makes Hospice Calls.” The bumper sticker he spotted said, “Spirituality doesn’t make hospice calls.”* Not true, but there is a tiny hint of something there.

CLEAR OR CONFUSING OR BOTH?

Spirituality and Religion: what are we talking about?

These are two vast topics that take in libraries of books and weeks of workshops and many Ph. D’s. They intermingle, don’t have to be contradictory, but can be confusing or vague at times.

How does one describe religion? How does one describe spirituality?

Can you give me nine minutes?

RELIGIONS

The four big religions of the world are: Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, and Buddhism. Most people belong – at least in name – to one of these four groups. Christianity has about 2.1 billion members, Islam 1.5 billion, Hinduism 900 million, Buddhism, 376 million. There are many other “religions” and each group, as we know has branches and divisions – and there are interconnections.**

I’ve often heard people say, “It’s all the same.”

We are and we aren’t.

I’m tempted to ask, “How do you see Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity as the same?” I don’t ask, because most of the time, it’s neither the time nor the place to talk. It’s a wedding reception and people are drinking or what have you. I assume they are saying, “We all believe in God, gather to pray, and are trying to lead a good life.”

Since we’re here together in church today, I assume we are Christians following Jesus Christ – proclaiming our belief with our creed each Sabbath and each day by our lives.

We are Catholics, but at times there are Methodists, Presbyterians, etc. here at Mass. Welcome to all.

We have all heard people say of the different communities in Christianity: “After all, we’re basically the same.”Yes and no. We Christians have similarities, but we are different.

And we Catholics can be very different – from parish to parish, from Catholic to Catholic, from bishop to bishop, from pope to pope, and sometimes we can be very much the same. At times we hear about the so called, “Catholic Vote”. Is there such a thing?

The stuff of the different religions is the stuff of talk and thinking.

Sometimes we bring up the two “no no’s”: religion and politics. They are two out of the five big topics of conversation – the other three being the weather, sports, and #1, other people.

RELIGION

Let me move the microscope further away from different religions and get back to the topic of religion in general.

There are two definitions of religion in the singular that I like.

First definition: “Religion is recognizing God and acting accordingly.”

Translation. At this moment in my life, do I believe, accept, live, assume that there is a God. If I do, do I act differently than if I didn’t believe in God? Does recognizing God, accepting God, make a difference in my life?

When I say in the Our Father, “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done!”, do I really say that with great meaning and significance and does my prayer then play out in my life?

Each person has to ask themselves from time to time:

Am I an atheist – someone who does not believe there is a God?

Am I an agnostic – I used to believe in God, but I don’t know any more?

Am I a drop out?

Am I sleep walking – a feeling I often have?

Am I indifferent?

Am I just going through the motions?

I believe in God, but what are the questions about church or different religions that I have?

If I really believe there is a God, if I recognize God, and this makes a difference in my life, then am I a religious person?

If I join or am part of a group, what group is it?

If I am a member of Christianity, that means I have been baptized and follow Jesus Christ.

If I am a member of a group within Christianity, what group?

If I am a Catholic, am I a member of a parish and go to a parish church, but what impact does it have on my life?


I overheard someone describing our parish this way, “We have 15,000 people plus in this parish.” Then they said there are another 15,000 Catholics in this area who are Catholic, but who don’t come to church – or they are not registered – or they are Easter and Christmas, funeral and wedding Catholics.

So what does it mean to say, “I am part of a religion or I am religious”?

Which religion?

My first point would be to make a decision where I stand with my religion. What do I say if asked at a hospital or if someone is taking a poll and asks me, “Religion? ________”

If I say "Catholic", then further questions arise. Couples getting married here at St. Mary’s and most Catholic parishes, are given a questionnaire and one of the questions is religion. Then comes the question about attendance. "Ordinarily, Sometimes, Seldom, Never."

We could add other questions., "What is a good Catholic?"

Or we could ask questions like, “Agree or disagree? I think that I am a good Christian, but I don’t see myself as a practicing Catholic, etc.”

Second definition: “Religion is what I wrap my life around?”

This definition makes everyone religious, because we all wrap our life around something or someone. The word religion has the root word for “ligaments” in it – cords, bands, fleshy strings that keep the human body together.

This second definition is much broader – vaguer – but it can be very challenging. It asks questions like: "Where do I spend my time? Who is my God? What is my center? What’s important?"

SPIRITUALITY

That’s a few talking points about religion. Here are a few talking points about spirituality. Do you have 4 minutes?

I taught courses on spirituality for 9 years to future Redemptorists. And as every teacher knows, the teacher learns a lot more than the student. And as every teacher knows, it takes the teacher at least 4 to 5 years to figure out and really understand what he or she is teaching. I was blessed to figure out some stuff about spirituality in 5 years – and then I had 4 more years to develop this stuff.

So when folks talk today about spirituality, my ears perk up. When folks says, “I see myself as spiritual. Religious, no.” I am sitting there with my baggage and my background.

I just listen. I know that being spiritual or trying to be spiritual can mean so many things. It could mean they are trying to be good persons, but they just don’t see church as helping them to be good persons or they find in church some deep springs of spirituality.

I told you this stuff can be quite complicated and unclear.

SOME TALKING POINTS ABOUT SPIRITUALITY

Let me give 3 talking points about spirituality.

Do you have 3 minutes?

1) I hold that everyone has a spirituality.

When Jack walks into the room, he walks in with his spirit – his personality – his flavor. It’s the same with Jill. It might be a wonderful spirit, or it might be an ugly spirit. Just mention any person you know – and their spirit comes flying right at you – even if they are in Ocean City right now or in the south of France right this minute. When you hear the name of the priest who has the Mass or when you see a priest walk down the aisle and you didn't know who was on for this Mass, you give that priest a vote, an “Oh good” or an “Oh no” or “We’ll see!” vote. Relax! People don’t just do this for priests. They do it to you as well. So # 1, everyone has a spirit, a spirituality. What is yours like?

2) There are all kinds of “public” or “big” spiritualities.

Each spirituality has specific nuances or “attraits” as they call them. Clings. Specifics.

Let me explain.

For example, there is a spirituality called “Franciscan Spirituality.” If a person is in a Franciscan parish or school or they make a Franciscan retreat, they will hear about some of the stresses of St. Francis of Assisi and his followers. They will hear about the importance of simplicity, don’t get stuffed with stuff, a love for birds and creation, a sense of Jesus as Lord – that God became one of us as a baby and died as one of us on the cross.

For example, there is a spirituality called “Redemptorist Spirituality” and if you listen to us Redemptorists enough, you’ll hear the same songs and same tunes from us through the years: the importance of prayer, the importance of Mary, the Practice of the Love of Jesus Christ, seeing Christ in the Eucharist, etc., being aware of the poorest amongst us. Our founder St. Alphonsus wrote over 100 books and those traits I just mentioned are in his writings and his followers.

There is also Buddhist Spirituality, Hindu Spirituality, Muslim Spirituality, Carmelite Spirituality, Jesuit Spirituality, Native American Spirituality, African Spirituality, Australian Spirituality, Filipino Spirituality, Humanistic Spirituality, Eco spirituality, feminine spirituality, masculine spirituality, and on and on and on and variations and arguments about each. Each would have its stresses, groups, writings, meetings, practices, etc., etc., etc.

3) Each of us is a mixture of all kinds of spiritual influences.

We are the spirit, the attitudes, the outlook, we picked up along the way from parents, friends, school, parishes, experiences, etc. I love the words of Ulysses in the poem by that name from Tennyson, “I am part of all that I have met.” I also like the comment by the Greek poet, George Seferis. When asked, “Who influenced you?” he answered, “Don’t ask who influenced me. Does a lion know what lambs he ate?”

However, I am a lifetime devotee of the examined life. I think it’s very important to figure out who has influenced us, what has influenced us, and pick out the best, and go for more of that. I learned that from the Jesuits! It’s called discernment. And if you listen to my sermons, you’ll hear me say at times. “I have homework for you.”

CONCLUSION

I just talked ten minutes on “Spirituality and Religion.”

Spirituality – developing a healthy and joy filled spirituality is obviously important. Religion – growing in our spiritual roots is obviously very important as well.

Both don’t have to be in conflict with each other. In fact, those who drop their religion with the idea of developing their spirituality might be missing out on the rich treasures of spirituality in religion.

This week, take time to do some home work or heart work to pull together your thoughts on these two realities – and pray to God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit to fill your life with their Spirit so you can bring the spirit of their love to all the rooms you enter. Amen. ***
____________________________________________________________________

NOTES:

* The Life of Meaning, Reflections on Faith, Doubt, and Repairing the World, by Bob Abernethy and William Bole, and the Contributors to PBS's Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly, pp. 191-193

** Two people asked me after my homily, "What about Judaism?" Type in Google, "World Religions" and then look for statistics in the menu. I just gave the numbers of the 4 highest. There are many more. For example, Sikhism has 23 million, Judaism has 19 million, and Baha'i has 7 million.

*** Reread today's readings. Judaism has given us these rich texts that nourish our religion and our spirituality. Today's first reading is from Zechariah 9:9-10. There is always hope. Christians can see Jesus as King and savior come riding towards us on an ass. What a fascinating vision, what a fascinating and humbling way to arrive at the peace table! Today's second reading from Paul's Letter to the Romans, 8:9, 11-13, voices the challenge to let our spirit be meshed and matched and married to the Spirit of God. And today's gospel presents a great vision from the Christian scriptures - the call from Jesus to "Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." For those who see religion as a burden, Jesus is saying, what Christianity is saying is this, "Our religion is not primarily a set of rules and regulations, teachings and warnings, but a relationship with Jesus. Wrap your life around him!"

THE CLING OF BEAUTY

The rain remained on the green grass
just long enough for me to stop walking,
to gaze down, to be amazed at the cling
of beauty – and to remember your beauty
still remains, still clings, long after the rain,
long after the grass fades. It helps me see
why marriages last and what Isaiah longed
for after seeing too many dry blades of grass
pointing angry fingers at the sky for rain.

© Andy Costello,

Reflections, 2008
Cf. Isaiah 15:6; 45: 8

JULY 3, 2008

TENTH ANNIVERSARY

OF THE DEATH

OF FATHER BERNARD HARING,

REDEMPTORIST

Today, July 3, 2008 marks the tenth anniversary of the death of Father Bernard Haring, CSs.R. He died in the Redemptorist Community House in Gars-Am-Inn, Germany July 3, 1998. He was 85 years old.

Go to Google and type in, “Bernard Haring”. Be prepared for lots to read – and see where it takes you.

I met Father Bernard Haring once – just a hand shake and a “Hello” in a group setting. It was in the early 1960’s. He was invited to give a series of lectures in our major seminary, Mount St. Alphonsus, Esopus, New York.

The 1960s – what a tidal time to be in school? I was getting the old and the new – and both would help me all through my priesthood in understanding the old and the new! I was in my early 20’s – experiencing the wonderful excitement of theological dialogue and questioning.

Bernard Haring’s arrival at our seminary was a major event. Lots of energy was flowing. I knew his name – fragments of his ideas – and not much more. I knew that he had written The Law of Christ. It was in English. I was not studying Moral Theology yet, but many of us read some of it for spiritual reading – and I found it a breath of fresh air.

I sat and listened as he spoke. I watched and wondered.

Looking back it was the moment that I discovered the power of story and personal example.

The first life learning was an incident that Father Haring told us. He was on the Russian Front during World War II. Orthodox Christians heard there was a priest in the area and they wanted their children baptized. Rules and regulations said, “No.” He had to make a decision. He said, "No" at first. Then he realized one had to say, "Yes!"

I have in my Blog a homily about key scripture texts in one’s life. It was from Father Bernard Haring’s comments that I grasped my life long and my life time Bible message. It's Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens and you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

Instead of pushing Biblical texts in other’s faces to win arguments, I learned that Galatians 6:2 is the text to wear on one’s heart – and not on one’s t-shirt. To me it sounded very much like what Jesus was saying in the parable of the Good Samaritan. The priest and the Levite walked by the man who was half dead. They kept their law. The Good Samaritan stopped to help the man. He broke his law and followed a more important law. (Cf. Luke 10: 29-37.)

The second life learning that happened during that week’s talks went this way. In a Question and Answer period after one of the talks a priest said, “Because we are attending this conference, we don’t have to say all of the Divine Office.” It was something like that.

After lunch I headed to my room for a half-hour siesta, a wonderful custom we had inherited from our European roots. As I was closing my shutters, I looked outside. There was Father Bernard Haring outside walking along alone saying his breviary or prayers or Divine Office.

To me, prayer is to be a joy – not an obligation – a want to – not a have to – not a sin if we don’t do it, but a grace and a connection with God if we do take the time to pray.

Besides, The Law of Christ, Father Haring went on to write another 3 volume Moral Theology series, Free and Faithful in Christ. It came out in English in 1978. There it was: the stress on a relationship with Christ and each other based on love more than law.

He wrote many, many articles, around 100 books, and gave talks everywhere around the world.

I was lucky to see him in person that one week in the 1960’s – from a short distance.

Thank you, Bernard Haring.

In reading his biography on Google, I realized we had a few similarities. We both have the same birthday ... different years of course. He had three sisters who became religious. My dad did as well - and I have one sister who is a nun.  I also found out that he too wanted to go to Brazil and he too never got that assignment. And we are both Redemptorists - who like St. Alphonsus proclaimed a Moral Theology of the love of Jesus Christ.

What I have not experienced yet is attacks. He experienced throat. cancer. Worse, he experienced what theologians in our church often experience: theological attack.

We had a wonderful priest in our major seminary nicknamed, “Teddy."  Father "Teddy" Meehan  used to joke that he was sent into exile a few times like St. Athanasius in the Early Church. But it wasn't because of his theology. It was because he spoke up for students.  Teddy was sent to the Virgin Islands – not bad - but he would be brought back to teach Early Church History by popular demand. As we studied Church History – and as we went through the 1960’s, I discovered the history of the Catholic Church contains a history of attempts to silence its theologians and its thinkers and those who speak up.

St. Thomas Aquinas (1224 or 1225- 1274) was investigated. Excommunication threats went flying. For those who don’t believe this, simply find a copy of The New Catholic Encyclopedia – and look up in Volume XIV, “Thomas Aquinas” and “Thomism” or in Google type in "Thomas Aquinas".

When I was studying in the major seminary, 1960-1966, we experienced Vatican II taking place. We became familiar with attempts to silence people like John Courtney Murray, Yves Congar, Karl Rahner, Henri de Lubac, Francisco Marin-Sola.  Surprise they were some of the  people who had a great impact on the Council. There were also attempts to silence those who were “conservative”.

If there is anything I learned about Catholic thought and theology, it's this: expect this dynamic to continue. Or as Yogi Berra would put it: "Expect deja vu all over again."

We'll experince reading on page 5 of some Catholic newspaper that the official church apologizes for how it treated Galileo (1564-1642) way back when. Then we'll read on page 9 mention of some theologian being silenced or investigated today. Sitting there I put the paper aside and wonder if this person will be exonerated 200 years from now and someone new will be attacked.

Marie Joseph Langrange (1855-1938), a Dominican, struggled for years to move the Catholic Church forward in Biblical studies, founding the famous Ecole Biblique in Jerusalem. He too had to deal with attacks for years – but eventually the Catholic Church woke up and put him on the Pontifical Biblical Commission and his cause for being named a saint was started after his death.

Yves Congar, theologian, also a Dominican, was attacked, investigated, silenced and banned. Besides having a profound impact on Vatican Council II, he was made a cardinal before he died.

I found on the Internet the following very interesting comment: “Joseph Ratzinger, later Benedict XVI, was declared to be under suspicion of heresy by Pope Pius XII and the Holy Office.  His book, ‘Introduction to Christianity' was banned because of heresy by Stefan Cardinal Wyszynski."

I guess it’s life. Get used to it. Father Haring was in World War II as well as in the theological wars. Pope Pius XII attacked him and John the XXIII and Paul VI praised him. When I was at that series of lectures he gave at our seminary in the early 1960’s, some Redemptorists were praising him; some were attacking him.

Life.

St. Alphonsus, the founder of the Redemptorists, was criticized by some for being too strict and by others as too lax.

Life.

I find the same story in the Gospels – in the life of Jesus. He was loved as well as attacked.

So if I read anything in the writings and life of Father Bernard Haring, it's the presence of Jesus - and that includes sin and the cross - but especially the call to love - to bear one another's burdens - to trust one another - instead of screaming "No" and negative labeling each other when we're different from each other.

In the meanwhile, let's all smile, laugh and love life, as I saw Bernard Haring doing.

AFTERWARDS

You surprised me.
when you came over and asked,
“What’s happening?”
And you actually listened
to what I had to say.
Then, afterwards,
it’s always afterwards isn’t it,
I caught myself
talking to myself and asking,
"What’s happening?”
And I actually listened
to what I had to say to myself.
Then, afterwards,
it’s always afterwards, isn’t it,
I realized,
I need to ask others,
“What’s happening?”
and actually listen to them and
not spend my time looking over
their shoulders to see
who else is in the room.
I’m here. You’re here. That’s enough.
Thank you.
But I didn’t realize this till
afterwards.

© Andy Costello,

Reflections 2008

PETER AND PAUL

INTRODUCTION

[The title of my homily or reflection for today is, “Peter and Paul.” The scene is Rome. The year is 67 – the estimated year both Peter and Paul were killed in Rome.]

Good morning.

My name is Peter. [Step out of the pulpit to let Paul speak.]
And my name is Paul.

Both of us are here today to say something about ourselves. This is a little bit embarrassing – but we have this feast day named after us – so someone suggested we give a bit of a bio about ourselves and make a few comments.

I defer to Peter, our leader, “Papa”, or “Abba”, to speak first. [Step out of the pulpit to let Peter speak.]

Okay, thank you, Paul. Let me say a bit about myself – some background and then how I was blessed to meet Jesus Christ.

I was a fisherman – just an ordinary fisherman. My brother Andrew and I would have simply been fishermen all our lives – and we would have been part of the millions and millions and millions of people nobody ever heard of – except our families and our village.

Sometimes our nets were full and sometimes it seemed that the whole Lake of Galilee was empty of fish.

Then one day – we had just fished all night long and caught nothing – this traveling carpenter came along and spoke to the crowds not too far from my partners’ and our two boats. We were cleaning our nets and this Jesus was preaching. The crowd was building up the more he spoke.

Then this Jesus, to better reach the crowd, gets into my boat and preaches some more. We could hear his words – and we wondered who he was.

Then, surprise, he spots me and calls me over and says, “Let’s go out into the deep water and lower those nets for a catch of fish!”

I said to him, “Fish? Look, we spent the whole night fishing and caught nothing.”

Silence.

My brother Andrew was wondering what I would do next.

Well, there was something about this Jesus, that got me to say, “Okay.”

We go out into the deep water and we lowered our nets for a catch. The nets suddenly were full. I said, “Now we know where the fish were hiding.” The nets were almost breaking, so we called to our partners, James and John, who were on the shore. They jumped into the other boat and came out to help us. We filled both boats till they were almost sinking.

Suddenly, I felt a gigantic “Uh oh” filling this little boat called me. I said, “Lord, leave me alone. I am a sinful man.”

He smiled and said, “Don’t be afraid – from now on it’s going to be people whom you’ll be catching.”

So that’s how I got into his boat. That’s how I became his disciple.

It became quite a voyage. He netted me with one toss.

I saw it all – crowds wanting to make him king; scribes and Pharisees wanting to see him dead.

He went around preaching, reaching out, healing, helping, feeding, challenging folks.

Oh, I had my doubts at times. Oh, I put my foot into my mouth a few times – but Jesus could see right through me every time – and let me tell you, I learned first hand, that life calls for forgiveness, 70 times 7 times forgiveness – every day forgiveness.

At our Last Supper together he told us, he was going to be arrested and killed. If he knew where fish were, he knew where his enemies were.

Then he said to us, “When the shepherd is caught, the sheep will be scattered.”

At that I jumped up and said, “Even if every one of us loses faith in you, I will never lose faith.”

He spoke back words that still burn me like fingers accidentally touching a red hot coal. “I’m telling you right here, right now, before the cock crows tomorrow morning, you will disown me three times.”

At that I shot back, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.”

Sure enough, I hate to admit it, that night I denied him three times. And every morning since, when the roosters start screaming, the memory of my sin starts screaming.

But, as I said, Jesus is all about forgiveness.

There we were fishing after his death – back up in Galilee. We're on the lake, he's on the shore. Once more we caught nothing. Once more he tells us where to fish. Once more our nets are full. At that I jumped into the water and headed for him on the shore.

Surprise. Jesus is always the Lord of Surprises. There he is – The Risen Lord - making breakfast for us – with fish! I often wonder where did he get that fish – and why did he tell us to fish?

I know – I know why he told us to fish.

Anyway, he the carpenter, told me the fishermen, to feed the flock. He was always doing that - mixing his messages with an array of images. He knew how to catch people like fish or find people who were lost sheep.

Well, I ended up preaching about this Jesus. This Jesus who is one of us and one with God – human and divine – truly “the Christ, the Son of the living God” and our brother – crucified but risen – dead but alive – gone but here – present in the broken bread and present in the starving brother or sister without daily bread.

I preached about him in many places. I brought his presence to Antioch and to Rome. I ended up being the head guy – without wanting it. He knew that people would say this is real – because it was so unreal – a fisherman called to be the “papa” or “abba” - the first of the group – a sinner whom sinners could relate to.

Enough. I’m sure you much rather hear from Paul. But be alert while he speaks. I’m sure you heard about what happened when he was speaking one night in Troas. A young man named Eutychus was sitting on the windowsill while Paul was preaching. This young man fell asleep and fell out the window to three floors below. Here’s Paul. Hang onto your seats. (Cf. Acts 20:7-12) [Step out of the pulpit to let Paul speak.]

Thank you Peter for telling them that. I noticed while you were speaking a few people were sleeping. And by the way, the boy lived – and I went back upstairs and continued preaching till the morning.

Peter and I didn’t always get along – but that’s the beauty of this church Jesus started – so many different personalities becoming one body.

I was a tent maker who became angry with these followers of Jesus who were ripping the fabric of Judaism apart. I made it my goal to do all I could to stop them – to stop people from following Jesus. Then in the midst of my angry march to stop Christ, he knocked me to the ground. I couldn’t see, because I was so blind. My darkness which I thought was light, blinded his light – which I thought was darkness.

Slowly Jesus, the Risen One, dawned on me. Jesus pushed his way into my life and I began to see who he was and what he was about. Once that happened nothing could stop me. I found myself saying, “I live, now not I, but Christ lives in me.”

I began to see Jesus in his disciples, in his followers, in everyone – that the church has all sorts of folks. It’s like a body – some are handy; some do the foot work; some are all heart; some are the backbone of the community; someone needs to be the head; some need to be ears, good listeners; some have to be seers, people who can see through things; some have to be mouth – proclaimers and teachers.

I was mouth and foot and ear. I went everywhere – watching first and then speaking – all though the Mediterranean Basin – trying to start communities, churches, bodies of Christ everywhere. I would go to Jewish settlements first. Some got the message that Jesus came to renew Israel not to destroy it.

Like Peter, I was jailed. Like Peter, I was chained. Like Peter, Christ was my strength. Like Peter, Christ kept rescuing me.

Like Peter I wrote letters back to Christian communities to encourage and to challenge them. They probably tore them up – but I hope they heard what I was trying to write to them.

Somewhere along the line it hit me: what about the rest of the world – the world beyond Judaism. What about the Gentiles? That was the big question – the defining moment and decision that had to be made. I know that you Peter had trouble with that one, but I did too. I’m glad we all saw the call to reach out to all. You reneged on this Peter, but that’s human nature, but then you rose to new life. Move two inches, go back one inch. Go three inches, go back one inch – but ever onwards.

We both realized the place to fish was not just the Lake of Galilee, but the whole Mediterranean Sea. And I hear there is an ocean beyond that - that we are to fish with Christ everywhere.

So here we are in Rome – pope and preacher. Here we are in the head city of the world and once more people want to kill Christ. Here we are – still fishing and still searching for lost sheep.

I guess that’s what this church will be doing till the end of time.

Calling on all to board the boat. Let’s go out into the deep waters and lower our nets for a catch – nets full of fish and nets full of sheep.

THE SPARROW’S WHY

This morning, walking up the street,
I spotted a dead sparrow on the ground.
Immediately came an inner blurt,
“God, why this sparrow? Tell me why?”
After all, you said, “None falls to the ground
without you knowing it.”*
Was it this one’s time to die
and no longer fly and twist and turn
in a morning sky?
Tell me the story
what this sparrow did
with the gift of his or her life?
Broken shells in a nest
speak nothing except unknown next;
broken ground in the cemetery
gives only the silent scream,
“We had our turn. We had our turn.”
And only we know the answer to our “why?”
And hopefully we know it before we die.
Only we can share the answer to each other

before others spot us in the ground.

© Andy Costello,

Reflections 2008

*Cf. Matthew 10:29;

Luke 24:13-35