QUESTIONABLE?

Wedding rings mean something,
even when so much of the sacred
has been squeezed out of a marriage –
a marriage that has become
like an empty, wrinkled, flat tube
of toothpaste left on the sink –
a marriage of two who don’t seem to care
for each other any more –
especially if there was the quick slipping off
of a ring in an affair:
the death penalty to most marriages.
Can there be a re-marriage to a marriage?
Can the blessing return to a ring?

© Andy Costello, 2008

GOD SMIRKS

A little girl is laughing and singing
in a car all the way to church ….
She dances her way
across the church parking lot ….
She delights as she sees sunlight
playing on her maroon coat.
She skips up the stone steps
of the great big grey granite church.
She loves it as she enters
into this joyful crowd
of Sunday morning people.
Standing on the bench
she whispers a loud comment
to her daddy’s left ear.
Heads turn. Then come
the loud looks: ““Shush!”
“Be still!” “Listen.” “What are
you doing here?” “Bad girl!”
She sits and tries to slump
into the hard wooden bench,
but the only thing soft
is her daddy’s hug.
It’s no longer fun to be in church
till she hears
the gospel words,
“Let the children come to me
if you want to see
the kingdom of God.”
She smiles. God smirks
in every child’s heart.*

* Luke 18: 15-17

© Andy Costello, 2008

BALANCING ACT

Lord, so much of life
seems to be a juggling act,
appointments and disappointments,
scheduling and rescheduling,
committing and recommitting,
sometimes weather permitting.

Lord, so much of life
seems to be lines,
lines I like and lines I don’t like,
standing on lines, traffic lines,
and sometimes there are lines
I never knew were there before.

Lord, so much of life
is a balancing act,
playing roles, sometimes wearing different hats,
sometimes even a crown of thorns,
dealing with other people’s expectations.
Is this my way of the cross for today?

© Andrew Costello

THE REAL
TEN COMMANDMENTS

1) Protect your turf. (PYT)

2) Cover your butt. (CYA)

3) Mind your own business. (MYOB)

4) It’s whom you know. (IWYK)

5) Volunteer the other person. (VTOP)

6) Me first. (M#1)

7) Don’t trust anyone. (DTA)

8) Blame the other person. (BTOP)

9) Everybody does it. (EDI)

10) Money talks. (MT)

© 2008 by Andrew Costello

SIGNIFICANT MOMENTS

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Significant Moments!”

Life has lots of significant moments.

What are your significant moments?

Suggestion: get a paper and pen or use a computer and start jotting down the significant moments of your life.

It will be a powerful and significant moment if you do it – and if you do it, you’ll get a sense which ones are more significant than others.

And if you do this, you can keep on editing it – revising it – clarifying it – and discovering key moments that you might have missed.

Then when you have a lot of your life down on paper or in a computer document, you can ask a second question: “What are the defining moments of my life?” – but in this homily I’m only asking, “What are the significant moments?”

I would also suggest sharing it with your loved ones – at least the moments you want to share.

GOSPEL
The gospels tell us significant moments in the life of Jesus.

Today’s gospel tells us of the baptism of Jesus – and he hears the words, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

Hopefully, as we look at our life – as we live it out – especially as we live it out as Christians, starting with our baptism, we will hear in prayer many times, “You are my beloved daughter…. You are my beloved son – with whom I am well pleased.”

STORYCORPS PROJECT

I’m sure some of you have heard about the Storycorps Project that started here in the United States in 2003. People sit down before a tape recorder with a loved one – for example, a daughter or grandson interviews an older person for about 45 minutes. They provide a wonderful list of questions. They have done more than 10,000 interviews so far – and they are being stored in the Library of Congress – and a copy goes home with the participants.

In Barnes and Noble or Borders or on line or wherever you get your books, you can get the book and CD and questionnaire entitled, “Listening Is an Act of Love.”

A family in the parish gave me a copy as a Christmas gift. Thank you. The CD gives excerpts of 10 interviews. You might have heard some of the interviews on NPR, National Public Radio. The book gives excerpts of about 50 interviews.

As I read the stories, as well as listened to them, I cried, I rejoiced, I laughed, I said, “Wow!” over and over again.

The stories are filled with the significant moments in people’s lives.

What are the significant moments in your life?

VOCATION STORY

This weekend here at St. Mary’s Parish we priests are asked to give our vocation story. This Sunday begins National Vocation Awareness Week for the Catholic Church here in the United States. Maybe someone listening will say, “I want to be a Redemptorist. I want to be a priest. I want to be a nun.”

I know I sat in grammar school classrooms at Our Lady of Perpetual Help Grammar School in Brooklyn NY in the 1940s and early 50s and Redemptorist priests who were serving in Brazil, Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, dropped into our classrooms and talked about their adventures in the foreign missions.

This was a way to plant dreams – vocation dreams – in young minds. I used to read Maryknoll Magazine as a kid. Seeing the pictures and reading the stories about foreign missionaries, I felt a desire to go to China someday as a missionary. Then when some Redemptorist asked us in the classroom to think about being a priest in Brazil, that helped refine my dream.

In Catholic families and Catholic parishes back then, the dream to be a priest or a nun was part of the imaginary life of many kids– along with being an athlete or cop or fireman – or doctor or nurse. We were four kids. The two oldest, my brother Billy and my sister Mary got married and had wonderful families. The two youngest entered religious life: my sister Peggy became a Scranton I.H.M. nun and I became a Redemptorist priest.

It was a significant moment when I told my parents this is what I wanted to try. And looking back I always appreciated it when my parents would say when I was home for vacation, “We’re glad you’re doing this, but if you don’t want it, don’t stay because of us.”

So I went to a minor seminary for high school – something that is rarely done today. It worked for me. I continued through college, a year novitiate after two years of college, and then I finished college and started my 4 years of theology in the major seminary. Then after our ordination year, we had 4 to 6 months of further training here at Annapolis – and then we received our assignments.

A very difficult – but very significant and defining moment happened to me here in Annapolis in December of 1966. I know the spot. It’s just outside Father Kingsbury’s office door here in St. Mary’s rectory. The provincial came up to me the night before the appointments and said to me, “Andy,” he used my first name, “you’re not going to Brazil. We need fresh blood on our preaching mission teams here in the states, so we’re going to put you in a parish for a few years so you can come down to earth in dealing with everyday life and its issues. Then you’ll be on the road preaching parish missions full time.”

It was a tough moment – and even tougher when the next day the provincial here in St. Mary’s church read out our assignments and 4 of my classmates went to Brazil, 1 to Paraguay, 4 went to Puerto Rico and 5 of us stayed in the states.

My first assignment was Most Holy Redeemer Parish on the Lower East Side of New York. It was the 60s. It was in the East Village – and the Hippie Revolution was everywhere to be seen. Interesting. It was to be a very fascinating education – but I often wondered what it would be like in Brazil.

I came down to earth – discovering lots of things I didn’t know – discovering that the seminary prepared me for some things – and so many things I had to learn while doing – like every job.

Then that same provincial told me after two years that they needed someone to do high school retreats at our retreat house right on the edge of the Atlantic Ocean in Long Branch, NJ. So for the next 7 years, that’s what I did during the week – along with hundreds and hundreds of weekend retreats for men and women.

That too was a wonderful education. I also knew I wasn’t reading enough so I went part time to Princeton Theological Seminary for 2 years - on Monday’s – and was able to get another Master’s Degree. That was a significant moment – hearing Protestant theologians – but in my second year they started bringing in Catholic Theologians – one of whom was Avery Dulles, the Jesuit. The course he gave was the book he would publish soon afterwards: Models of the Church. He gave me an A! And understanding his theory – has been very significant and helpful ever since. Not everyone sees the Church the same way. Not everyone comes to Church for the same reason.

After San Alfonso Retreat House in New Jersey, I worked out of Washington DC for a year – working with two other Redemptorists trying to help local communities work together better. It didn’t work – so that team dissolved. Yet that year had a great impact on my life – because of what I learned about communication and facilitation skills.

Then I was assigned to St. Alphonsus Retreat House in the Poconos in Pennsylvania. It didn’t have as much work – so I finished off a third Master’s degree and started writing – as well as preaching parish missions around the country.

I was at that retreat house also for 7 years – and then was assigned to be novice master for our novices in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. That was very significant. In a way I learned what it is to be a parent. I learned what it is to have to cut people – to tell them that we don’t think our life would work with them. It was very difficult. I discovered – after the fourth time it happened – that every January my back would go out. That was the month of the cuts.

Then our province moved our novitiate back east to Esopus, New York, on the Hudson, just below Kingston, NY. So I ended up being a novice master for 9 years. The teacher learns more than the student.

Then I got a 6 month sabbatical. I would love another one. Then for 8 ½ years I worked on the road preaching parish missions with a buddy of mine, Tom Barrett, out of Lima, Ohio. I also got to preach priests' and nuns’ retreats all over the country in the off season from parish missions. Very nice. San Diego is great in December.

Then I asked for parish ministry. By now we could ask. We might not get what we ask for, but we could ask. I asked to be in a busy parish, and St. Mary’s is our busiest parish, so I lucked out. This has been a wonderful assignment. This has been a very significant move.

TRANSITION

I hope, as I’m talking out loud this morning, you are thinking in loud about the changes, the moves, the moments in your life. I have talked about geographical changes – but as we all know, there have been people we met and moments we have experienced in the different geographical places we have been – people and experiences that are priceless – and couldn’t have been planned.

I think of several big parish missions in Toledo and Columbus, Ohio – as well as many, many, many preaching experiences in small farm communities all over Ohio – in towns I had never heard of: Ottoville, Kalida, Fort Jennings, Wauseon, Napoleon, Holgate, Hamler, Deshler, Hicksville, Miller City, Edgerton, Elyria, Cygnet, Leipsic, Gallipolis, Pomeroy. All aboard. As Tennyson said in his poem, Ulysses, "I am a part of all that I have met."

I also think of the moment when Tom, the guy I was working with, was hit by a tractor trailer truck on his way to Paulding, Ohio. We had worked the previous two weeks in Galion, Ohio and used one car. This mission, because it was only a half hour away, we decided on two cars. Tom left after me and was almost killed on an icy road –ending up in a hospital in Fort Wayne, Indiana, for 75 days. The experience was very significant for me – very defining for him.

The first significant death I experienced in life was that of my dad in 1970. He died of emphysema and lung cancer. Next it was my nephew’s death with cancer – at the age of 14 – with only 4 days notice. That was very tough on our family – especially my sister and brother-in-law, obviously. My brother’s death by melanoma, cancer, at the age of 51, was also very significant. My mother’s death in a hit and run accident – as she crossed the street on her way to church and then to work at the age of 83 was very significant. I discovered the valuable gift I could be to my family not only at family weddings, but also at family deaths. Let me tell you – this is one of the most wonderful things a priest can do – to be there to help one’s own family when someone dies.

HINDSIGHT AND INSIGHT
Hindsight is very much part of insight. I love the saying, “Don’t write down in your diary what happened that day, you won’t know till next week or next year – or many years from now.”

A lot of us here have lived enough life to jot down the significant moments of our life – as well as see the big picture called “the movie of our life” as it’s being played out.

At times I have said to potential candidates for the priesthood, “Being a priest is a fabulous life. Think about it.” Then I add, “If you can hack celibacy, come into the pool. You’ll love this life.”

Obviously, the pull for marriage and children is the most powerful human pull. Thank God. Thank God our parents married and made love and made us! Pinch yourself and say, “Thank you!”

I am well aware that parents want to see grand kids – and people are having fewer kids. So there will be fewer priests – for as long as we have a celibate priesthood in the Western Church. Moreover, I see the value of celibacy – to have people you can call on when you need us – without worrying about interfering big time in their family life. I also see the value that priests have to come out of non-priestly families. Celibacy can prevent in-breeding.

I call the last two generations, “the clicker generations.” Translation: there are many channels – there are many options – there are many choices – and younger people switch jobs more than older people. I just wish young people would push the clicker and look at the possibility of being a priest as a channel and a choice to view. Yes, and some people have proposed temporary vocations, etc. And many priests who dropped out in the 60s and 70s and 80s certainly made that choice – clicking to a new channel.

I am also well aware that the priest scandal has certainly stopped people from considering the priesthood – or parents pushing it. It has certainly dampened our spirits big time. The last few years have not been easy on us. The only good news about it is that kids are better protected. I heard one priest say: "If by taking the heavy hit we took on this, it has woke parents up to be more vigilant in watching their kids and asking questions – checking if any one is preying on them, then some good came out of this."

We priests, in our conversations with each other, express our anger and frustration at priests who have this problem – and acted out and hurt kids. We know a lot more about all this than we did 25 years ago. We want the world to know that we are below average on this – that the main perpetrators are in families – that it’s kept secret big time – not just by bishops and priests – but by everybody. Times have changed thank God.

I heard that the Maryland Assembly is going to address lifting the statue of limitations on priests – a protection by law for all Americans. I out loud say there could be an injustice there – because people who are long dead can be accused – without a chance to defend themselves. I would also add “in some cases” – and I underline in some cases, “there is money to be made here” – and some dioceses were not vigilant on this – and some dioceses have gone bankrupt as a result – and then folks lose diocesan jobs, benefits, services and programs as a result – and lay people suffer as well. Obviously, life can be messy and the Catholic priesthood took a big messy hit because of a small percentage of priests abused kids.

I would also want to add that I challenge all of you to promote vocations to the priesthood – the push this weekend.

I know there are many more vocations, life choices and options: marriage, government, journalism, teaching, medicine, the economy, foreign service, the military, sports, etc. I also am aware of the diaconate and the many lay ministries in our church.

The stress today is priesthood. So if you want a good sermon and a good liturgy from priests on a weekend, if you want a personable priest at a family funeral and wedding and baptism, if you want a priest who you think will listen to you when you have a problem, if you want teachers of prayer and scripture, if you want priests to preach out for social justice, please challenge people you think would make a good priest to consider the priesthood.

The vocations to the priesthood today are usually coming from young men in their late 20s and 30s and older – after they have tried another career.

CONCLUSION
If you don’t promote vocations, be prepared for a different church – in ways you might not like – or in ways you might like. Obviously, lay ministry has increased big time since Vatican II – and I think it’s marvelous. Bottom line thinking: we need more priests.

However, I hope dioceses and religious orders will cut candidates for the priesthood who will be disasters. It is my opinion that people have been accepted – not because they will make excellent future priests, but because of the personnel shortage. Time will tell if they have accepted priests who will be big time problems down the line. I make this statement and judgment out loud - after thinking about my experience with this question.

Right now – in 2008 - in the United States we have about 30,000 diocesan priests and 15,000 religious order priests. I also assume that somewhere around 2015 the Catholic Church will have to make a major decision about women clergy as well as married clergy for the diocesan priesthood. That will be a significant moment in the Catholic Church – just like Vatican II was a significant moment for all of us here in our 60s. That’s my prediction. I have been wrong in the past – but I’m also predicting the Giants will beat the Packers next week. And if they beat New England in the Super Bowl, now that will be a significant moment.

THE  HARD 

INVISIBLE 

Flowers fade,
so we give diamonds.

Those we love die,
so we have gravestones
with names, dates,
and sometimes words
that we hope
will hold us together.

Time ticks
or digits away without telling us,
so we hold onto memories,
but what do we do
when the memory fades?

We despair or hold onto
the hope that Jesus is somehow
standing there outside of time,
Jesus, the way, the truth, and the life –
who will bring us face to face
with God and those we love again. Amen.

© Andy Costello, Poems and  Prayers, 2008

ONE GIFT

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “One Gift.”

EPIPHANY

It’s the feast of the Epiphany and the gospel tells us that the three gifts that the Magi or Kings or Wise men brought to Jesus were gold, frankincense and myrrh.

As I was looking for a theme to preach on for this feast, my sermon was going to be “Three Gifts!”

Where I was going to go with this sermon is to try to come up with three gifts I want to give God this year. As I reflected upon that, I found it difficult to come up with even one good clear gift.

Then the obvious jumped out and I was off the hook a bit, “Hey, each Magi gave only one gift to Jesus.”

I found “One gift?” easier to reflect upon.

As we all know Matthew doesn’t tell us there were 3 Kings or Wise Men or Magi – but three became the tradition because of the 3 gifts. And in time the Magi were even given names – Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar – and even descriptions on what they looked like.

That’s good use of the imagination – and it has always challenged preachers and Christian writers to figure out the why of the gifts.

Theorists say the gold represents Jesus as king or living a virtuous life. Incense represents prayer rising to God or the mysterious reality of God – like a cloud of smoke. And myrrh represents suffering – Christ will suffer and die for us.

And we all heard the joke – probably several times, “How do we know that the Magi were men?” Answer: “Because it looks like they kept getting lost. They must have had a gadget – to track the star – that would help them get to where they had to get, and they brought very impractical gifts for a new born baby: gold, frankincense and myrrh.” If they were women, they would have brought diapers, blankets and a baby crib. Okay, gold is a great gift. And they did ask for directions.

ONE GIFT

So to get a practical homily going here: if you were to visit Jesus what gift would you bring?

To help spiritual growth, perhaps it would be better to frame the question this way: “If you were to visit the adult Jesus, the Son of God, what one gift would you bring?”
We can do this. We can approach God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit, or any one of the persons in the Trinity at any time. This is our faith. This is what prayer life is all about.

We just went through the Christmas season and we took moments to ask ourselves: “Okay, I’m going to drop into to see mom or dad or Aunt Tilly and Uncle Tommy, what gift can I bring to them that makes sense – or is personal?”

So people buy ties or a bottle of perfume or Johnny Walker or a gift certificate to Talbot’s or Home Depot or Target or Barns and Noble, or what have you.

Well, if we were to stop to be in God’s presence, what one gift do I bring to God?

I don’t know about you, but I found this a good question, but also a very tough question.

SOME ANSWERS

It could be a resolution - a New Year’s resolution – and Father Jack Kingsbury’s letter as Pastor to the parish in last week’s bulletin is helpful, if that’s the way I want to go with the one gift question. He suggests making a spiritual resolution and making it practical –manageable – specific, realistic, consistent, doable and with my time limits.

Or it could be Sunday Mass. I am going to make coming to Sunday Mass a joy this year. I am going to pray. I’m going to pause. I’m going to sing. I’m going to enjoy being with these other folks who are part of our parish for one hour each week. During Mass, I’m going to look at my life – my relationships – my use of time – how I’m serving others, etc.

It could be a conversion, a change, a new direction.

I remember giving up solitaire on the computer two years ago for Lent and I made the decision on Ash Wednesday without much thought and I haven’t played a game on the computer sense. Now there is nothing wrong with solitaire on the computer. I much rather play cards with others. That’s one of our strong family traditions. Last year I took up Sudoku and finished a whole book of them. Reason: I want to use my brain more as I age – and I’ve always been weak when it comes to numbers.

It could be reading. It could be walking. It could be more sleep. It could be more anonymous giving to the poor box. It could be volunteering. It could be cleaning and clearing out an attic or a yard, a cellar or a garage or one’s priorities list.

But we have to ask the question: How is what I want to do a gift to God?

THE QUESTION

Maybe the process we ought to follow is to go to God and say: “Is there anything You are asking of me?

Then pause – then shut up – then listen – and maybe God will drop a hint – then and there – or maybe in a moment – an unexpected moment our spouse or boss or both will say, “You know, you have to listen more.” Or, “We need to spend more time with dad. He’s been a bit lonely ever since mom died.”

More or less questions help.

Is there anything I’m doing too much of or is there any thing I’m not doing enough of?

A POSSIBLE EXAMPLE

A great gift might be making less whining the gift to give God and our world this new year of 2008.

I’ve been noticing more and more in the past few years that I have a gift I don’t use enough. It’s called, “The mute button.” Or “The pause button.” It’s right there on the remote or the clicker in my brain and I can hit it any time. I’ve noticed that I have found saying to myself, “I don’t have to respond to this. I don’t have to comment on this. I can keep my mouth shut on this.”

And when it comes to whining, and lots of buttons that get pushed, one major area is Church. We all know the old rule: “You can talk about anything around here, except religion and politics.”

On Friday evening I was reading an excellent article in the Christmas issue of America Magazine. It’s an article on Flannery O’Connor, the American Catholic southern writer. It’s entitled “Flannery O’Connor’s Religious Vision” by George Niederauer, the archbishop of San Francisco. [Cf. America, Vol. 197. No. 21, Dec. 24-31, 2007, pp. 9-14]

It was an excerpt from his Lane Center Lecture at the University of San Francisco – adapted for a magazine article. It is wonderful – loaded with lots of things to think about.

There’s a great gift in itself: to give God, ourselves and others, the gift of more good reflective reading in 2008 – to find ourselves escaping to quiet places and do serious reading and reflecting.

Anyway, Flannery O’Connor was off on the issue of whining and complaining and judging and griping amongst church goers about the church and its priests etc. Being a priest, I would obviously spot this.

She says the surface is easy to judge – but not the interior operations of the Holy Spirit.

Then George Niederauer in his article – as he is talking about all this says Flannery O’Conner made a touching reference to the vocation of Catholic priests, whom she often found to be overworked and unimaginative.

Quote: “It is easy for any child to find out the faults in the sermon on his way home from church every Sunday. It is impossible to find out the hidden love that makes a man, in spite of his intellectual limitations, his neuroticism, his lack of strength, give up his life to the service of God’s people, however bumblingly he may go about it.”

That comment stopped me. More than 40 years ago I decided to give my life as a priest. It’s been great – but I have felt its consequences in missing at times not being married, not having kids, not having weekends, and there is no retirement if one is in a religious order that has priests.

That choice was made more that 40 years ago. How am I living out that life choice today. So I would think the key is to be more specific. How do I want to serve here at St. Mary’s this year of 2008? What do people need?

And it’s the same situation for all of you here – married and single, widow or widower, divorced or what have you. You made your big life choices many years ago. How can you be better this new year of 2008?

CONCLUSION

Specifically, how can I make the gift of my one life better this year – practically, realistically, “impacty”? What’s the one gift I have to look at – and make a good decision about for this year – and then try to give that gift to God and others this year? Amen.