PETER AND  ANDREW

Once upon a time there were twins: Peter and Andrew.

Neat kids. Fun kids.  You’d like them if you knew them.

Peter was older than Andrew by 17 minutes and loved to brag all the time that he was the older  - and the smarter brother - because he came out of his mother’s womb first - when they were new born babies.

They were now 12 years old.

It was their grandmother’s 85^th birthday - and they drove 3  hours that Super Bowl Sunday to their grandmother’s house for dinner.

But first they went to Sunday Mass ….

They got up early  and made it to their grandmother’s church for the 11 AM Mass.  Grandma and her other son and his wife - who lived close by - and their 3 kids were waiting in the church vestibule for Peter and Andrew and their parents.

Mass was 55 minutes - so they were back to grandma’s house by 12:15.

It was a good day - parents talking to each other with their mom. Grandpa  had died 10 years ago.

And the 5 kids - cousins - played Monopoly and threw a football outside for a while. It was cold - but not that cold.

Peter and Andrew - the twins - didn’t dress alike. Some twins do that. Other twins - some of them hate that - but mostly when the twins are both boys. Their mom liked dressing them alike  when they were little - but not now. They were past that - at least that’s what they would say.  But they found themselves often thinking alike. Twins are often asked that question.

But there was one thing where they were totally different. Peter wanted the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl and Andrew was rooting for the Los Angeles Rams.

They had made several bets.  Whoever lost the bet, that one would have to make the other’s bed for a week. Whoever lost the bet, he would have to take the garbage out to the curb on Monday and Thursday and bring the plastic barrels back to the garage when they got home from school in the afternoon. Whoever lost the bet, he would have to empty the dishwasher every morning for the next two weeks.  

Grandma’s birthday cake didn’t have 85 candles - but only about  2 dozen. Her breath was good enough to blow out most of the lit candles at her first attempt to blow them out.

The twins were looking at the clock from 3 PM onwards.

They figured they would just miss part of the first quarter of the game if they made it home between 6 and 6:30.

Mom sitting in the front seat of the car  - handed the boys two bags of barbecue flavored  potato chips for the trip home.

Dad - a definite Type A driver - drove very carefully  - both hands on the wheel  - all the way home - feeling a bit nervous about possible black ice.

After all he had precious cargo here - his wife Janet  and their twin sons: Peter and Andrew.

They were home - and in the house through the garage - at exactly 6 PM.

The twins headed for the TV set.

Dad said he was going to check  out some e-mails and phone messages.

He said to Janet, “Did you see my i-Phone?”

She didn’t  - then she added, “Maybe you left it in the car.”

Dad headed out to the car and came into the house with his i-Phone in hand and two empty barbecue potato chip bags - from the back seat of their car.

Dad screamed, “Andrew you’re the slob. You left potato chip flakes all over the back seat of the car. Go out and clean out the car and get to bed right after that. No Super Bowl football for you this year.

Andrew without saying a word headed  for the garage.

He knew his dad could be this way at times - especially after a long day of driving - and he had to do the driving.

“Uh oh!,” Peter  said to himself.

Then he continued  talking to himself. “It wasn’t Andrew. It was me - who was the slob. And Andrew didn’t eat any chips at all. He knew I loved Barbecue potato chips, so he gave his bag to eat as well.”

Peter heard Andrew coming out to the garage - completely silent - and heading for their bedroom.

His dad had calmed down - after his scream - after his whining - but didn’t welcome his son back into the room where they were watching the Super bowl.

His dad didn’t tell Andrew that the Rams were already winning by 14 points.

His dad could be strict - and be such a neat nick - especially when it came to the car.

Peter went to the bathroom at half time - but really to sneak into their bedroom to see how Andrew was and give him the score.  The Rams were only winning by 7 points.

Peter mainly wanted to see how his brother was.

Peter asked Andrew, “How come you didn’t squeal on me - that I was the only one who had potato chips in the back of our car?’

Pause.

Then Andrew said, “Didn’t you hear what Jesus did in the gospel we heard at church this morning?”

Peter said, “What? What Jesus said?”

Pause.

Then Peter said, “I was thinking about the Super Bowl and had no idea what the priest was talking about at Mass. Are you kidding me?”

Finally, he asked Andrew, “What did Jesus do? What did Jesus say?”

Andrew said, “Well they were all yelling at Jesus and they were trying to take him out of town and throw him off a cliff. He kept quiet and kept moving and suddenly at the right moment he snook off the road and into the woods.”

Pause.

Peter never heard this side of Andrew ever before.

Andrew continued, “So when dad started yelling. I kept quiet. I’ve been doing that all these years. With him, you can never win. I cleaned up the potato chips in seconds. There weren’t that many and then I slipped into here.

“And by the way I have this small radio and I’m beating you by 7 points.”

The End.

Ooops. When I woke up this morning I felt something was wrong. The ending of my  story  wasn’t right. So my second ending would be: Peter walked back into the lounge - and told his dad - “Andrew did nothing wrong. He didn’t have any potato chips. It was all me - who left the back seat of the car so messy.

That was a second ending.

A third ending would have the father sitting there. It’s now in the third quarter and the father stands up and says, “Wow was I not so smart in being so tough on Andrew. I’m going to go into the boys bedroom and invite him into the game.

I polled everyone and got votes for all   3 endings.