A BAD REPORT CARD

INTRODUCTION

[I'm preaching this homily or reflection to myself for starters. Next: and if anyone here says to themselves, "I wish so and so heard this, I failed."]

The title of my homily for this 30th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year C, is, “A Bad Report Card.”

When was the last time we got a bad report card - or a bad report?

We weren’t expecting it. It hits us in the gut. We stand there shocked. We don’t want anyone to know we failed - or we were fired.

Bummer! Ugh! Dang it! Disappointment….

Someone asks, “What happened? Is anything wrong?”

We don’t want to answer. We just want to be alone.

Or we can become angry - or numb - or dumb -  or blame - or spit out a denial. “There has to be a mistake.” “It’s not fair.”

Sometimes it all depends what we failed in. It could have been a math test. It could be a  cop coming  towards us about to give us a ticket for speeding or something we did wrong while driving.  It could be a doctor calling to tell us we failed a test - our numbers are bad. Our reactions might be different when it’s an all depends.

We might say the teacher is out to get us. It’s unfair. But maybe down deep - we’re blocking out that we are blocking out the truth. We know  we were lazy and didn’t prepare.

If it’s the cop - we first say, “Crud we weren’t speeding!”  Or “He’s out to get his quota of tickets at the end of the  month - and I’m the victim.” So we’re furious - but we know we have to sit there like a little child - when he asks for our driver’s license and registration.

So it all depends. Sneaky stuff sneaks around inside all of us.

Sometimes it’s hard to face the truth - or some truths - yet in general we don’t like to fail - in anything. We don’t like a bad report card.

We like to be right. 

And sometimes something else happens. It's when someone else fails - someone else gets arrested - caught - gets a bad report card. Ugh. That’s one of those ugly little human secrets that sometimes shows its ugly face. Sometimes we like it when someone else gets a worse report card than we got. It's hard to admit it, but sometimes we like it when there are others who are lower, less than us. We’re happy that there are those who seem to be society’s losers and ongoing failures. Ooops! We don’t like it when those human uglies ooze up and slide or squeeze out of our soul.

Jesus sometimes takes a chance and gets us in touch with these deep, deep sins.

TODAY’S GOSPEL

The kind of feeling I feel Jesus wants us to feel when listening to his words this Sunday is numbness - dumbness - silence - so that after our first reaction - of denial or anger or frustration - we decide to face the truth - so that we can be set free.

Of course, we could react and scream, “Crucify him!” or want to block Jesus out of our life - for life - or for a block of time and life.

Today’s Gospel presents two persons. Most of us are like the first person: the Pharisee. I know I am. And hopefully, after being honest with Jesus and myself - I’ll get what Jesus is saying. Then  I/ we switch to becoming the second person - the tax collector - the sinner - the one who just wants to slide into the back bench of the church - behind a pole - and just sit there in the semi-darkness of an afternoon - when nobody is around.

So hopefully, after hearing today’s gospel, we accept Jesus’ report - and in all humility - beg God for mercy - forgiveness - and then we start again.

Today’s gospel ends with a message that we have always given lip service agreement to: “For whoever exalts himself or herself will be humbled, and the one who humbles herself or himself will be exalted.”

We're here in church this Sunday Mass - along with maybe 400, 500, 600 million others. We'll all hear this simple gospel story - this clear parable - about what many of us say to ourselves - every day about others - up here in our temple - inside our skull. The NSA can’t record it all those silent sounds in our brains. It doesn’t have to. We know the sound and the script. Jesus simply Snowdenizes the comments and announces it once more to our world today.

So we know the tapes - the bytes- the words ….

Listen to them ....

“Thank God I’m not like so and so - the driver in the other car - the gal at the other desk doing nothing - the fat person walking slowly down the street - the teenager whose pants are half hanging off - the gal with the face piercings - the guy with the arm full of tattoos - the drunk - the always late for work boss - the lazy road crew - the idiots who can’t get the computers working - the other party - the other channel that rants and raves - the other who is so different, so wrong, so out of touch….”

“I go to church.  I bust my butt for others. I volunteer. My kids aren’t getting into trouble. I keep my house and lawn right. My car - my clothes - my look - my garage - the trunk of my car - they all look right….”

Then I notice whom Jesus tells us he’s addressing this parable to. Oh my God, he has my name on the envelope. Jesus is addressing his words to me today - because it’s addressed to those who are convinced of their own righteousness and despise every one else.

i say to Jesus: "We’ll I think I’m right." I say that because I’m convinced I’m right - so I accept that part of his words. But it’s that second part of Jesus’ words that I don’t accept. I don’t see myself despising everyone else. "Aaagh!" we scream.  So we say to Jesus. “That word ‘despise’ is a pretty strong word.”

Jesus remains silent. 

We get even more nervous and say, “Well not despise, but I do think some people are wrong - or stupid - or what have you.”

We continue talking to  Jesus: “You’re kind of strong here today. Aren’t we supposed to try to be holy - and not be greedy or dishonest or adulterous? Aren’t we supposed to be generous and tithe and donate to the needy?”

Jesus remains silent - letting us get out our inner stream of consciousness that we see ourselves better than so many others in our world - other nations, other religions, other people who are non-religious - others - whom we’re glad we’re not.

Jesus then continues - with his report - about the other person - the tax collector - the one whom people saw as shady - and greedy - and dirty - and sinful. 

Jesus tells us how that person prays - how he’s thinking - and what he’s doing here in this same Sunday Mass as I am. This other person has this same inner temple - a brain - a mind of one's own as I do. 

Jesus is telling us, “This other person can’t look God in the eye - but he does beat his breast and begs God, ‘O God, be merciful to me a sinner.’”

That sinks in. Jesus is sort of praising him and dissing me. In fact, Jesus gives me a failing mark - a zero for all my efforts - when he says, “I tell you, this second guy goes home justified - but not the first guy.”

Then Jesus hits me with another sledge hammer of a comment: “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself for herself - will be exalted.”

Now we become very silent.

CONCLUSION

Then we say to Jesus, “Okay -  I get it.” Or “I think I'm getting it.”

We start saying, “I guess  I got to start again and again and again. I guess I have to stop putting myself up front  when it comes to thinking who’s right and who’s wrong and who’s a good human being and all that.”

We say, “I guess I got to stop giving out report cards - with failing marks to those I look down on - and simply come to You and say, “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.”