FORGIVE AND FORGET

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Forgive  and  Forget.”

How many times in our life have we heard someone give us the advice, “Forgive and Forget”?

Both can be difficult to pull off.

FIRST FORGET

It’s interesting what we remember and it’s also interesting what we forget.

We see someone and without knowing it, they look like a high school classmate who used to pick on us - bully us - bother us - many years ago - but we don’t know why the appearance of this person is bothering us.

We go by a cemetery on a road we never were on before - and we feel the sacred - or we feel scared - as we drive by.  It’s a different feeling when a mile further ahead we drive by a high school - on the other side of that road.

Buildings, churches, fences, barking German shepherd dogs,  an old lady with a cane or an old man on a bicycle trigger past experiences. 

Sometimes we can recover and remember the source of that feeling upstream or downstream in our mind. Sometimes we don’t.

Sometimes we see so and so - and we go, “Oooouuuuuuh!” and we know exactly why we feel that way towards this person.  We can’t forget  what she said about us behind our back 17 years ago. 

There are things we cannot forget.

When I go by the Maryland Inn - and the Treaty of Paris Restaurant -  on the top of Duke of Gloucester Street - I remember and say a prayer every time. That’s where my niece Margie was proposed to by her husband Jerry. He dropped into Annapolis years ago and told me his story as we were taking a walk on the red bricks of Annapolis.

When I drive past Maimonides Hospital in Brooklyn - I feel  the memory coming out of the bricks, “This is where my dad died.”

I have been told by lots of folks who drop into Annapolis - and into St. Mary’s Church, “This is where we got married.”

Years ago - I didn’t know I did this - but we were going by Victory Memorial Hospital in Brooklyn. My nephew Michael was in the car with us. Well, I went, “Shuuuuuuuuuuu!” as we went up a particular street and past a particular building.  He or maybe his brother or sisters asked, “Why the “Shussh!?” And I answered, “This is where I was born. In this hospital here.”  A year or two later, Michael got hit by a car and was knocked out and  they took him to another hospital to be checked. He woke up - looks around - and says to the nurse, “Is this where my Uncle Andy was born?” My sister Mary told me that story.

Imagine all the memories and sentences and comments and scenes we have in our RAM - our Random Access Memory - in our brain?

Remembering is who we are - and advertisers want to know all about memory triggers.

Forgetting - as in forgive and forget - is tricky business - as well.

NEXT FORGIVING

Forgiving is also tricky - but it’s a lot more part of the will. It’s more of a choice - compared to forgetting and remembering.

I can forgive someone - even though I can’t forget what they did to me.

The gospels don’t tell us we have to forget.  They do tell us to forgive.

Jesus tells us to forgive 70 times 7 times.

In fact at times before forgiving, Jesus tells us to remember - as in, “Let him or her without sin cast the first stone.”  Jesus is telling us: "Don’t forget you too have made mistakes."

ST. STEPHEN

Today - the first day after Christmas - is the feast day of St. Stephen. He is  considered by some to be the first martyr who died because he was a follower of Jesus Christ .

Stephen remembers what Jesus said on the cross when he was dying on Calvary, “Father forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing.”  So Stephen says when he is being killed, “Father don’t lay this sin on their doorstep.”

Notice in that prayer - that shout to God - that Stephen says to God, “Forget about it.”  He’s saying to forgive and forget about this - what they are doing to me.

CONCLUSION

Forgetting is sometimes part of amnesia and aging.

Forgiving is hopefully always  part of being a Christian.

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Picture on top: The Stoning of St. Stephen by Rembrandt