I WANT ONE OF THOSE 

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 33 Sunday in Ordinary Time is, “I  Want One of Those.”

TODAY’S FIRST READING

When I heard today’s first reading from the Book of Proverbs about the description of a wonderful wife, I thought of an Erma Bombeck column from way back.

Someone gave her a description of  an ideal wife. She keeps everything perfect, waits on her husband  hand and foot, takes care of all the meals, vacuums the car, rakes the leaves, gets the kids to hockey and dance practices, etc. etc. etc.  Hearing this Erma Bombeck says, “I want one of those.”

Listen to today’s first reading again, “When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls.  Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.  She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.  She obtains wool and flax, and works with loving hands.  She puts her hand to the distaff [What’s a distaff?  Does anyone want one of those? It’s a staff that holds wool.], and fingers ply the spindle. She reaches out her hands to the poor, and extends her arms to the needy.”

The title of my homily is, “I Want One of Those.”

Who wouldn’t?

EVERY WEDDING

At many weddings people pick that first reading for today. And at almost every wedding, couples pick for their second reading 1 Corinthians 12: 31 to 13: 8a. It’s the great description of what love is and what love is not.

Love is patient, kind, etc. etc. etc.

Love is not rude, ego bursting, etc. etc. etc.

Don’t we all want the good stuff and not the bad stuff from the other?

Don’t we all have that hope that we have the good stuff in us?  

YET WE BETTER KNOW ABOUT LIMITATIONS

We all know Clint Eastwood’s line in one of the  Dirty Harry movies, “A man has to know his limitations.”

We don’t want one of them.

We heard in today’s gospel that everyone is not a perfect 10.  Everyone doesn’t have 5 talents and then  grow an additional 5 more.

WE ALSO BETTER KNOW ABOUT SIN AND SEFLISHNESS

We also better know about sin and selfishness.

Some people have the skills and the know-how and the ability but they bury the talent.

How many people do we know who have the ability to paint or sing or play the guitar - but they bury their talents like one of types Jesus describes in today’s parable.

MESSAGE FOR THIS HOMILY

A message for this homily is this: know your talents. Use your talents. Make things easier for those around you.

Last weekend I was saying two Masses up at Our Lady of the Chesapeake in Pasadena. At the 8:30 Mass they had a drummer and I said to myself, “There’s got to be some drummers in Annapolis who would love to play at Mass.”

What I was saying to myself and thinking was, “I want one of them.”

I was giving a mission up near Rochester, NY a few years ago and the parish and the pastor had this guy who ran the parish - got rid of the snow - make everything work and the pastor said he was completely behind the scenes.  I said to myself: every parish should have one of these.

Growing up we had a family friend - especially of my Uncle Pat - a guy named Danny  Barca. He’s still alive and lives in Staten Island. He could fix anything: a toilet, a car, a boiler, a refrigerator, a stove, anything.

I’m sure everyone who knew him said, “I want one of these on phone list.”

I was giving a priest’s retreat in Richmond, Virginia years ago and every priest - on hearing I was a Redemptorist - came up to me and told me of a Redemptorist whom every priest in the diocese - went to him for confession - because the only thing he ever said was, “Don’t we all, Father, don’t we all?”  Well, don’t we  all want that kind of a priest when we go to confession?

I have heard 100 times in my life the following. I’m not bragging - here - but I have had people say to me: “I wish you were Jewish because you’d make a great Rabbi - or Protestant minister or priest in some other parish.” I take that as a compliment.  I hesitate to say that, because others might see me as the rear of a four legged racer that people bet on. I am also well aware of the principle: 1/3 like you, 1/3 don’t like you, 1/3 don’t care.

TITLE OF MY HOMILY

The title of my homily is, “I  Want One of Those.”

CONCLUSION: SO IF

So if you are an accountant, be an accountant that when described to others, they too will say, “I want one  of them.”

So if you are a waitress, be such a good waitress that others will say of you thinking of their favorite restaurant,  “I  Want One of Those.”

So if you are a driver, and nobody gets nervous when your drive, in fact they all fall asleep, because you are such a great driver, they will think before they fall asleep, “I  Want One of Those.”

So if you are a nurse, and someone is visiting a neighbor in the hospital and they see how great you are, they will say, “If I get sick, I want a nurse like that one.

So if you are a neighbor - and someone is telling their friends about how great their next door neighbor is, they will say of you, “I  Want One of Those for a neighbor.”

So if you are at a party and someone sees how great a spouse is to a spouse, you’ll say of your spouse, “I want of someone like that for my spouse.”

And isn’t that how this sermon started - with some comments about a good spouse?