FLUSHED  WITH  SHAME

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Flushed With Shame.”

I want to address the issue of shame today.

It’s a scary topic and theme.  It could trigger our upbringing - that we might have been shamed as kids - or it could trigger mistakes we have made on kids.

TODAY’S FIRST READING

Today’s first reading from Baruch 1: 15-22  begins this way,

“During the Babylonian captivity, the exiles prayed:
‘Justice is with the Lord, our God;
and we today are flushed with shame,
we men of Judah and citizens of Jerusalem,
that we, with our kings and rulers
and priests and prophets, and with our ancestors,
have sinned in the Lord's sight and disobeyed him….’”

After reading that I wondered if they actually used our understanding or idea of shame. So I looked up other translations.  The different translations I could find used words that seemed to capture our understanding of shame:  “public shame is upon us…. ” - “open shame is upon us….” - “to be shamefaced….” - “we are still covered with shame….”

This is a tricky text to get at - because it’s from the non-canonical literature in some Bibles - that is, Baruch is not in all Bibles.

So I would assume the people from 563 B.C. and then later - because there are rewrites - like most of scripture - were describing the human feeling called, “shame”.

What are your thoughts about shame?  Do you ever feel ashamed.

SHAME TODAY

Today’s first reading is from back then.  What do the writers and teachers and speakers and therapists and counselors of today say about shame?

If interested in this topic: type into Google, “Shame” and then listen to the short videos you can find there on YouTube and Ted Talks. Two speakers that are featured are John Bradshaw and Brene Brown

Better:  type into the Google search box: “Shame and Guilt.”

John Bradshaw was big 15 years ago. He’s dead now.

John Bradshaw talks in a language we can  all understand. He talks about the feelings that hit us when we are yelled at. Any one with kids knows what potty training is about: holding and letting go.

So check out shame and guilt on google.

For starters, you’ll find out some say: shame is much deeper than guilt.

For starters, some say there is good shame and bad shame.

For starters, bad shame or toxic shame  means I am bad - whereas guilt is the feeling - I did something wrong. Guilt is the aftertaste from doing something that is considered wrong.

I like the distinction: Guilt means I made a mistake; Shame means I am a mistake.

BACK TO THE READING

The people in today’s first reading from Baruch are in exile. They are slaves. They have been dragged out of Jerusalem and Israel and made slaves and servants of the Babylonians.

What would that feel like?

Was it like slaves captured and brought to the Americas?  What would it feel like to see so many die on the trip to America from Africa.

What was it like to be made to wear the yellow star of David?

What did the Jews and Poles and others feel like when stripped and dragged and pushed into prisons in Auscwitz etc.

What was it like for those women in France who slept with Germans to get food and anything they could get to survive - and they were put on chairs up on a stage surrounded by crowds of French folks - and their hair was cut off? Did they blush? Did they wish they were dead?

SHAME: LET’S START AT THE VERY BEGINNING

I have always read that the earlier the problem, the worse the problem.

Evidently adults use or have used the mantra: “shame, shame on you” on kids. That comment can last. It can become imprinted on a kid's psyche.

I don’t know what they are going to find in the physical brain of Stephen Paddock.

Years ago, when the Texas Tower killer Charles Whitman killed 18 people and injured 31, they found a brain that was abnormal. On July 31, 1966 Whitman wrote a note about his violent impulses, saying, “After my death, I wish an autopsy on me be performed to see if there’s any mental disorders.”

I read this on line, “The note then described his hatred for his family and his intent to kill them. That night, Whitman went to his mother’s home, where he stabbed and shot her. Upon returning to his own home, he then stabbed his wife to death.”

GUY AT TOBYHANNA

The worst shame story I ever heard happened at Tobyhanna, Pennsylvania.

It was Saturday night and on a men’s retreat an older man raised his hand. I acknowledge him and he stood up to speak.

He said something that went like this. I’ll never forget it. “My brother and I were in the kitchen sitting with our dad.”

“My dad said to my brother. You’re going to graduate from the 8^th grade soon. We’re going to get you into the best high school around here. You’ll go to high school and do terrific as you always do. Then you’ll graduate and go to a good college. Then you’re going to become a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer or architect. You’ll be a great success in whatever you do.”

“Well,” the man continued, “I asked my dad. ‘Dad, what about me? What about me? What’s going to come of me?’”

“You? You’ll never amount to anything. You’re as worthless, and he pointed to his shoe. “as the sole of my shoe. You're nothing.’”

Well we were all shocked and silent. The man was numb and hurting.

Then after this long period of silence, he said, “My dad was right. I never amounted to anything.”

That scene has been a rerun in my mind many times ever since.

CONCLUSION

Shame is underneath addictions and abuse.

A human being has to start with primal love.

I was a baby once and I deserved to be loved and honored and held.

A human being has to hug herself or himself and say, “I am worthy.”

A human being needs to feel God holding him or her - in love.

When I taught prayer I always said, “Prayer is taking time to be with God.”

Then I would add, “If you sit down and pray for a short period of time every day or at least once a week, many times it will be boring, but it’s my experience, if you take time with God, you’ll have God experiences."

I’m not scared to say I was once making a holy hour and I sort of spaced out and I experienced God as the Good Shepherd picking me up and wrapping me around his shoulders like a sheep.

The underbelly of a sheep has to smell ugly - being caked in pee and poo - and my flesh was touching the fleshy neck of Jesus.

That moment overwhelmed me.

That’s from Luke 15. Read that chapter over and over again.

Feel yourself like the lost sheep, baa, baa, baa till God finds you.

Feel yourself like a lost coin, keep going, “Ahem. Ahem, Ahem over here, till God finds you.”

Feel yourself like the lost son - who still smells like pigs - coming home to his Father and the Father embraces him.

That’s what that old man at that retreat house needed, the embrace of  God that he is good, that he is loved. Amen.