OBNOXIOUS

INTRODUCTION

The  title  of  my homily is, “Obnoxious.”

That’s the English translation of the Greek word in Wisdom 2:12 – today’s first reading.  This text is not in the Hebrew Bible.

The New English Bible translates it this way: “he stands in our way.”

I read today’s text – Wisdom 2:1a, 12-22 a few times and what I hear is that someone is being obnoxious – standing in the way – blocking movement – stopping progress – being a problem.

We know the feeling. We call such a person a pain – or a PITA – or a drain.

And the reaction is to want  that person to disappear, to  get rid of the person.

This happens in life and therefore in the scriptures all the time.

Here in the Book of Wisdom and in today’s gospel from John, I assume those who chose the readings – are moving us towards the end of Lent – bringing us to Holy Week – Good Friday – getting us to see motives why they wanted Jesus is killed on the cross.

TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE WHO GET IN THE WAY

I assume there are 2 kinds of people who are obnoxious: those who are prophetic – those who challenge us – when we are in the wrong, when we are selfish or what have you; and those who are obnoxious in the negative sense.

We know those who are obnoxious in the negative sense: those who park horribly, those who bark at us, those who burp – those who dress terribly or those who are always messing up our plans.

What about those who are obnoxious because they speak the truth.  They might not   say it in the right way – but they speak the truth – and sometimes even though it will set us free – the other speaks with sandpaper and rub us the wrong way.

A question: has anyone ever challenged us  - and we got angry or frustrated with them – but down deep they were right – or in time we found out they were right. We still wanted to kill them.

That’s Jesus at times. That’s the prophet in the Old Testament at times. That’s what today’s text from Wisdom is getting at.

So in life – maybe it was a teacher or a parent or a friend – who told us we were hanging out with the wrong crowd – or dating the wrong person – or going in the wrong direction – not studying – not working – wasting our time or what have you.

Thank God for them. If they are still alive – maybe give them a call – and say, “Thank you!” If they are dead, thank them in prayer.

Then there are the pains – who drain us.

How do we deal with them?  I have a whole book on all this, How To Deal With Difficult  People.  It sold about 60,000 copies, but let me tell you, I still don’t know how to deal with difficult people.

DYSFUNTIONAL PEOPLE

The literature on dysfunctional people tells us that 1% of the people in our daily circles sometimes take 99% of our energy.

I was talking to some high school principals last night and one of them said exactly that: one person can take up 90 percent of one’s time. Ugh.

We’ve all heard about high maintenance people.

There are the letter writers – the complainers – the nudges – the needy – the drainers.

OUR RESPONSE

As Christians I think  Jesus had some of this in mind when he came up with his stuff on turning the other cheek, going the extra mile, as a way of changing – and perhaps challenging another person. Instead they get rejected – avoided – most of the time.

It’s been my experience – and I know I’ve said this a dozen times – the odd person gets avoided – because he is odd – and he becomes odder – and is then rejected even more – and on and on and on. I learned that from living with odd priests.

A lady just said to me recently, “You have no idea what it’s like to live with a man.”

And I said, “Hello! I live with 10 other men – and all my life as a Redemptorist  I’ve lived with a great cast of characters – and they lived and had to put up with me.

I’ve often wondered: obnoxious people have to come to Mass. Are there any here this morning? As soon as I say that I hear myself taking the voice of Jesus when he announced someone was about  to betray him: “Is it I, Lord” – as just said it at the Last supper.

CONCLUSION

I know the old saying, “Timing is everything.” 

Most of the time – when it comes to obnoxious people – we don’t say anything to the person who drives us crazy – but we spend a lot of energy complaining about the person.

So sometimes the best resource is to simply hide – run – avoid – to recover one’s energy. But sometimes the right thing is to challenge each other – with love in the background, Amen. Amen.