FAIR – UNFAIR

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this Friday in the First Week of Lent is, “Fair – Unfair.”

My main stress will be on “Unfair!”  - because we think that – we scream that – we say that - much more than we say, “Fair!”

“Unfair!” is one of life’s deepest screams – one of life’s most basic sounds – erupting from down deep inside each of us – from time to time.

Listen to little kids - as they interact with other kids - especially brothers and sisters - and parents - and you'll hear the "Unfair!" scream.  If we're saying it at 3,  it can be cute; if we're saying it at 73, we might be in down deep trouble.

“Unfair!”

We scream it at God – parents – kids - brothers - sisters – teachers – coaches – traffic – life.

If you need to hear this sermon more than others – listen up!

The title of my homily is, “Fair - Unfair!”

EZEKIEL

It’s an issue we hear about in today’s First Reading from the Prophet Ezekiel 18: 21-28.  That’s why I’m preaching on this theme today.

Ezekiel hears people saying – praying – screaming at God: “Unfair! The Lord’s way is not fair.”

He responds with this reaction. “You scream and hurl that  ‘Unfair!’ at God. Well, let me tell you who is unfair.”

In other words, he’s saying, “Let’s go to the Video Tape. Look at your own life. Ask yourself:  ‘Does God hurl that “Unfair!” back at the one who screams “Unfair” the loudest?’”

Do we ever say “Thanks” to God for blessings – for our situation – for our blessings?  Do we only appear at God’s doorstep when things are going wrong – when we feel we’re getting a bum deal?

So the title of my homily is, “Fair - Unfair!”

TWO EXAMPLES FROM MY BROTHER

Here are 2 examples from my brother, Billy, 2 examples that are true.

First example…. He loved to tell about the time he was driving along this road – single lane – both sides. The speed limit is 50 MPH. He comes up behind a police car – which is going exactly 50 MPH.

My brother wishes the cop would speed it up. Nope.

My brother says that he looks in the rear view mirror. He now sees two cars right behind him. Then 3 …. Then 30.

The cop continues going 50 MPH.

My brother decides to pass the cop.  He waits for the next clear chance – no cars coming towards him from the other side – and the lines indicate – split lines – one can pass – and he makes his move around the police car.

As soon as he does it, the police car’s lights start flashing…. And the cop pulls him over.  All 30 cars then pass – surely with smiles on their faces.

My brother opens up his car door and starts running towards the police car – something you’re not supposed to do. He has his arms up in the air – like someone arrested or someone who got a field goal in football. He wants to try to reach the police officer before he starts writing down a ticket for speeding.

The cop lowers his window and my brother protests, “Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!”

The cop pauses and smiles and says, “You’re right. No ticket.”

My brother loved to tell that story.

Second example, second story…. The first story was told by my brother. This story is about my brother.

At his funeral someone read a letter which had this second story. It was from a young man named David Goldberger. He was the son of my brother’s best friend, Marty Goldberger. He was on a Kibbutz in Israel at the time and couldn’t make the funeral – so he sent the letter.

In the letter he told this second story about my brother. David said he was 7 years old at the time. My brother showed up at their house. David was playing ping pong with his dad. Well, my brother says to David, “Can I see that ping pong paddle.”  He hands it to my brother – who  then says to Marty, “3 over to see who serves.” 

At that,  David says, “Hey Mr. Costello, wait your turn to play winners. My dad and I are in the middle of a game.”

David continues in his letter, “Mr. Costello totally ignores me and again says, ‘Three over to see who serves first.’ Well, my plea didn’t work, so I said,  ‘Mr. Costello, that’s not fair.’ At that, Mr. Costello stops and says to me, 'David, let me let you in on one of life's greatest secrets: "Who says life is fair?" Then once more he says to my dad, "Three over to see who serves, Marty.'"

Then David said in his letter. “He was right. I didn’t know it then, but in time I discovered, life is not fair.”

The title of my homily is, “Fair – Unfair.”

TODAY’S GOSPEL

In today’s gospel from Matthew 5:20-26 we hear Jesus talk about anger – and not showing up at worship filled with anger. Jesus says, "If angry, leave your gift at the altar – and go first and be reconciled with your brother – and then come and offer your gift.”

Well, there are a lot of people who come to church – and go through life filled with anger – at God, at parents, at brothers and sisters, at all kinds of different folks – who have been part of their lives.

They feel they got a raw deal from God.  They feel they got a raw deal from their parents or whomever – and it ruins their lives.

I’m saying in this homily that the down deep root of a lot of their anger is this feeling that they were treated unfairly.

Jesus is giving great advice here: let it go.

Easier said than done.

SOME UNFAIRNESS ISSUES

Now it’s been my experience there are something’s we can let go of and there are something’s that are very difficult to let go.

Name your poisons. Know your buttons.

If by now we have a handle on this issue of deep seated unfairness issues – good – but then we have to learn to avoid folks who haven’t.

Now some unfairness issues are not that difficult to master.

We’re in the movie and we say, “Great nobody is sitting right in front of me.”  Surprise in walks a 6 foot 8 guy – who sits right in front of us.

I don’t know about you, but I like the end piece of the meat loaf – as well as the end piece of any loaf of bread – sliced or non-sliced.

Sometimes we run into a teacher who just doesn’t like our style – so too a coach – so too a play director.

Sometimes a referee makes a call – that is blatantly wrong.

“Unfair!”

Then there are deeper issues that trigger deeper unfairness screams.

We might have acne forever or we’re too short or we get cancer or someone who is drinking crashes into our car – and we get a bad back forever.

Who said life is fair?

CONCLUSION

In Office Depot or Staples – you can find those stamp gadgets – that need an ink pad.

I think some people have inside their minds a stamper that says, “Unfair!” and they go through life driving themselves nuts because they spot unfairness 24/7/365 and stamp everything with that UNFAIR stamper.

I suggest tossing that UNFAIR stamper and get one with the word, “Acceptable” or “Compromise” or “Adjusting” on it.

In other words to come up with some personal way to deal better with the unfair situations of life. Amen