OTHER

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INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Other.”

Life is about myself - I live it - I learn it - I figure it out as I live it - but then again - life is about the other.

The other person in the crowd - the old lady looking out the window - the other woman … the other man … the other making the noise … the other person on the road - or in the car - or maybe taking my job… or has a need to go to the bathroom - so he or she sits at the end of the bench instead of moving in …. 

The other….

For some reason that’s the thought,  - “OTHER”  - that popped up as I read today’s readings - as I wondered about what to preach on this 4^th Sunday of Advent - with Christmas just two days away.

The other…. This will be about basic stuff. You’re sort of stuck with me this Sunday morning. I’m the other priest and my name was on the list to celebrate this Mass. Another priest would be speaking on some other topic or other theme. Isn’t that the way it often works? I expect this and I get some other something or some other person.

THE BABY

We were all once upon a time another baby - the other - who came as a gift and a hope or a surprise to mom and dad.

We were a me - and if it was a well functioning family  - we got the limelight and the pictures  - that first month or two or three or more. We got the attention. We got the lifting up into safe arms when we were scared. We were heard and then held when we were a scream in the night. We were fed - changed - bathed - put in a safe place for sleep and play.

I once heard a priest give a series of talks during which he referred to a baby as “His majesty the King” or “Her majesty the Queen.”  This other priest seemed to think this was very significant.  I never grasped fully what he was getting at. I think he was saying that he noticed that some people never get over the fact that the king or queen position is not for life - and then all their life they resent having to give up that position - like when a brother or sister arrived or when another person had an idea - or a different way of doing something.

Maybe because I’m the fourth and last kid - I didn’t understand what the guy getting at - unless it was just that. My sister Mary has been fond of saying that our parents had 4 only kids - and we were all close in age. I get that - but sometimes I don’t get that. Sometimes we hear the other - but we’re not sure what the other is saying.

What I do get is that at some point in life we have to learn to deal with each other - especially the other person - that there is more than one of us on the planet. There’s always the other. Like Robinson Crusoe there is the moment we see the other’s footprint on our beach - and it’s not our size. Uh oh! It’s the other….

I know I once visited my niece Jeanne to see her new baby, Sophie - her and husband David’s second kid. Jeanne brought Sophie into the room and placed her on the floor in one of those baby carry cases. I was sitting on the couch - and began looking down at this beautiful tiny baby. Then I started going, “Hi! Hi! Hi!” to this tiny creature - hoping she’ll laugh and smile. While doing this Benjamin the first born comes over and sits on the carrying case blocking out Sophie and says, “Hi Uncle Andy!” I didn’t ask if Sophie did this to her sister Olivia - when she came along.

Do we all do that sometimes in our life: blocking out the other?

THE PLAY HOUSE

I once heard Bernard Basset, the Jesuit, he’s now dead, tell in a talk a story that went something like this. Better this is how I heard and interpreted the story - because that is what we do with other people’s stories. Once upon a time there was this little kid who was born into a horrible family situation and ended up being totally wrapped up in himself - and loaded down with problems. The family fell apart and the kid was put into foster care and given large doses of therapy and love from adults. Then one day he was put in a small play house in a corner of this big room. The play house had toys and windows and a door. The team of therapists were watching everything from behind a two way mirror. A door in the room where this play house was situated opened up and in came about a dozen kids - roughly the same age as the kid in the doll house. They immediately headed for the toy boxes and pulled out their favorite toys and started playing with them on the floor in this big room.  Hearing the voices the little boy in the play house stood up and looked out the window at the other little kids playing about 30 yards away. He watched and watched. Bernard Basset said that a therapist said out loud: if he opened his door and went over and started playing with those kids, there was great hope for him. If not, uh oh!  He opened the door and went over and played with the other kids.

That’s a life time story for me. I’ve seen loners in my life - folks who have never come out of themselves. They are priests and doctors, mothers and fathers, this and thaters. From my experience of priest loners I discovered the horrible principle: “The stranger the ranger, the more the avoidance; the more the avoidance the more strange the ranger  becomes - and on and on and on.”

So parents bring their kids to playgrounds and to cousins. They have slumber parties and Birthday and Halloween parties. Hopefully Pre-K helps. Hopefully every school, every place, every parish, every family is a welcoming place.

Hopefully, there are professionals at all the various levels of life who can spot stuff and talk to parents and staff their about kids. Thankfully there are all those wonderful volunteers in the scouts and Little League and Pop Warner and Dance Groups. Hopefully, little kids are also allowed to integrate and have fun without supervision tons of times  - and their creative juices make this world a magical world for themselves and others.

QUESTION: WHO HAVE BEEN THE OTHERS IN OUR LIFE?

The title of my homily is, “Other.” Now I can’t picture anyone on the planet writing on their hand in ballpoint pen, “Other!” - but I have seen people writing on their hand with a ballpoint pen: “Judy” or “Mike” or “Penny” or “Patrick”.  We’ve seen names of others as tattoos on the skin of others: mom, Millie, Molly, Maude and Sally. We seen the initials of thousands of people carved into trees or scratched into hardening cement or spray painted onto walls or magic marked onto school books or bags or casts for  broken bones.

The other….

Today - right now - forget about this other preaching up here. Locate a ballpoint pen and write down the significant others in your life.

Use the number 3: who have been your 3 best teachers - 3 best friends - 3 people who changed your life - 3 people you worry about - 3 people you couldn’t figure out - 3 people you could say anything to?

I laugh at the e-mails I get from time to time. I don’t have Facebook or some of these other things but sometimes I receive an e-mail that says that someone I never met or heard of - has befriended me.

I still like the comment that if we have 5 people who are friends with us in this life, we’re lucky. I’m 73. I can list my 5:  and 3 of them have already died. Bummer.

We need the other. The first book of the Bible - Genesis - has God saying, “It’s not good to be alone.”

GOD: HERE IS WHERE THIS OTHER MIGHT LOSE YOU

If I was in that play house and God was out there - and I spotted God - would I open that door and go out and meet God?

Do I even think, see, consider God as Other?

What is this other called God like? The Jewish Scrolls and Scriptures answer that question with lots of answers: Creator, Shepherd, Judge, Law Giver, King, Father, Mother, Someone with a Will, Peace,  to name a few.

Jesus comes along in that tradition and we have a breakthrough on who God is. Jesus is God. Yet Jesus also tells us about the Other - whom he calls “Our Father” - and he also talks about the Spirit. It takes the followers of Jesus a long time and a lot of discussion, but they finally nail down in Creed and Council that Jesus told us God is Trinity - without using that actual word.

God is THE Other - but the Other is not just one Person - the Father. There is this Other Person, the Son. Then there is the Other Person: the Spirit. Amazing.  God is a Trinity of Persons - One God. Go figure.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas. For the Christian we have been gifted with a great teaching - that God can become a reality for us.

Let’s backtrack a tiny bit - and talk about the Second Other - Jesus the Son of God - who comes as a  Baby - who is also one of us - who was born of a virgin - the fruit of her womb - as we heard in today’s gospel.

Christmas is the Advent, the beginning, the coming of the Christ. We know the story - it’s pictured on a million Christmas cards and stamps and cribs. It’s told so well in Luke’s Gospel on the Charlie Brown Christmas Special - the Midnight Mass Gospel - which some priests like to read at all the Christmas Masses. This baby grows - yet he lays low for 30 some years - and then leaves his significant 2 others: Mary and Joseph. He reaches out to others. Some accept him; some reject him. Life.  We know the feeling.

CONCLUSION

With regards the Other - the title of this homily - Jesus taught us two central messages: first the visible others:  we are to love the other - forgive the other - give to the other when the other is hurting, rejected or down - go the extra mile for the other, give the shirt off one’s back for the other - lay down one’s life for the other; secondly, the Invisible Other: God. The Other is the Father who loves the Son and the Spirit of Love between the Father and the Son - is God. This is the secret of life - loving each other. When we are in communion with each other and with the Other called “God” - we are experiencing heaven here and  this can lead us to heaven hereafter. Amen.