Reflections By The Bay

Monday, October 22, 2018

THE ABILITY TO ACCEPT

OTHER PEOPLE

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is “The Ability to Accept Other People.”

This is one of life’s great skills: The Ability to Accept Other People.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how good are you in accepting other people?

I’d assume your obvious next comment would be: “Well it all depends on who it is I’m being asked to accept?”

The obvious response to that comment would be: “Well, that’s the whole point.”

UNFORGETTABLE COMMENTS

Have you ever read something that you have never forgotten?

It could be a quote. It could be comment. It’s just something that is like a bumper sticker on your car.

I have one. I often quote it. I often think about it. I often hear it in my brain when I run into certain situations. I read somewhere this comment: “The greatest sin is our inability to accept the otherness of other people.”

Years ago, I wrote a whole book on this topic: How to Deal With Difficult People. It’s out of print, so I’m not pushing it. It sold 60,000 copies and was translated into Korean and I still don’t know how to deal with difficult people. It told me a lot of people want the answer to that question.

How about you?

Do you have any difficult people in your life? Do you have some people whom you can’t accept or you find difficult to deal with?

One of my favorite scripture texts is, “Is it I, Lord?”

That’s Matthew 26:22. Jesus says, “One of you is about to betray me.” and the disciples at the Last Supper say to Jesus one by one, “Surely, it’s not I, Lord?”

When I hear people complaining about priests or just people in general, I like to say, “Is it I, Lord?”

It’s not nice to be rejected or not liked or not accepted.

A SKILL TO LEARN

How many parents or friends or others have said to their kid or another, “Well, not everyone is going to like you.”

Teachers, waitresses, priests, human beings have to learn, “Not everyone is going to like you.”

I read somewhere, “Well, 1/3 are going to like you; 1/3 ain’t going to like you; and 1/3 don’t care.”

One of our priests told us - he’s no longer stationed here - so you don’t know who he was. “I’m standing in the back of church on a Sunday morning and the cantor announces who the priest is - who will be saying the Mass, and I hear a voice say out loud, ‘Oh no!’”

What would that be like?

TODAY IS THE FEAST OF SAINT JOHN PAUL II.

Pope John Paul II was arriving at Kennedy Airport in New York. This polish priest is out on the tarmac - with a crowd of big shots - many from the New York Archdiocese. Some Monsignor - sort of in charge - spots this Polish priest from some small parish standing there. He goes over to him and says something like, “What are you doing here? This is for chancery staff - or something like that” and so the priest leaves and goes back home.”

The pope gets off the plane and looks around and immediately asks for his priest friend from Poland.

Silence.

Well the priest who ousted the pope’s friend - I heard he got stationed way upstate after that one.

EVERYONE HAS TO DEAL WITH THE ACCEPTANCE REALITY

Take popes.

They too have to deal with this issue of acceptance.

Pope John Paul II was our pope for 26 years. He travelled the world and was greeted by all kinds of people. However, someone shot him. Thank God, John Paul II recovered and the Pope ended up forgiving him. Then there was a Spanish Priest who tried to stab Pope John Paul II with a bayonet at Fatima.

Not nice.

Next came Pope Benedict. He had his praise and I’m sure some complainers.

So too Pope Francis.

So too presidents and governors, pastors and parents.

Everyone gets their “Oh yes!” and “Oh no!’ votes.

BOTTOM LINE: A CONCLUSION

So that’s my homily for today.

My title was, “The Ability to Accept Other People.”

The bottom line is: we all need to learn how to deal with being accepted or rejected. We all need to not commit the greatest sin: the inability to accept the otherness of the other person.

Get over it: people are different.

Get over it: not everyone is going to like or accept us.

October 22, 2018

BURIED TREASURES

Gold, diamonds, oil, have been

buried down deep in the ground

around us for a long, long, time.

So why don’t we expect treasures

to be buried down deep in the

ground of the persons all around us?

October 22, 2018

Thought for today:

“God has assigned as a duty to every man the dignity of every woman.”

Karol Józef Wojtyła -

Pope St. John Paul II,

whose feast day is today

Sunday, October 21, 2018

FIND HITLER,
THE FUHRER,

IN THIS PHOTOGRAPH.

One of the children in this school picture is Alois Schicklgruber, or Adolf Hitler, as he later became.

It's a typical fourth-grade class, like the kind any of us might have been in if we had attended an all-boys school. The difference is that one of these boys as an adult tried to dominate the world.

Study the faces, the body postures, the positioning. Imagine for a moment that you are Hitler as a fourth-grader, and you already have some mind-blowing plans. Where would you place yourself as this class photo was about to be taken? Holding the fourth-grade sign? Close to the teacher?

Hitler is in fact in the exact center of the top row, not only central, but also slightly higher than anyone else in the photo. "Deutschland uber Alles" was the German World War II battle cry, and in this early photo it's ''Hitler uber Alles!"

What the photo shows, in all too chilling dimensions, is that Hitler's personality was set at a very early age.

WHERE ARE YOU

IN THE PICTURE?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Where Are You In The Picture?”

I thought of group photos and class pictures when I read today’s gospel - as well as pictures of people standing there in newspaper pictures in The Capital - for example being honored as part of a local organization.

In today’s gospel, James and John - as Mark tells us - went up to Jesus with a request.

Jesus asked them, “What do wish me to do for you?”

They answered, “When you come into your glory we want to sit - one on your right and the other on your left.”

Gospel commentators like to say that these two brothers - James and John - had no clue at times what Jesus was about. They were fishermen - called by Jesus - into quite a public life - going about with Jesus - crowds wanting to touch the tassel of his cloak - thousands wanting to hear his stories and his teachings. Jesus was famous - and they were touching the tassels of that fame as they moved around Israel. That’s quite a contrast from emptying fish from nets and then selling those fish at the Lake of Galilee.

They were like these followers of rock singers and I’ve read that some big time athletes have posse’s - 20 to 35 followers - who are always tagging along with the rich and the powerful.

James and John had no idea - what Jesus meant when he said, “You don’t know what you are asking. Can you drink the cup that I drink or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?”

They said, “We can!”

So Jesus said, “The cup that I drink, you will drink, and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized; but to sit at my right or my left is not mine to give but is for those for whom it has been prepared.”

Mark tells us that the other 10 became indignant at James and John when they saw and heard all this happening.

GROUP PHOTOS

When you’re in a group photo where do you like to stand?

I’ve often heard, “If a person knows their picture is in the paper or if someone shows us a picture that we know we’re in, the first person that we look for in the picture is ourselves.”

Is that true?

I don’t know - and is it more today - now that everyone has a camera on their cell phone?

OKAY, NOW WHAT?

I got that thought and those questions and observations when I read today’s gospel.

Is it enough for a sermon?

You be the judge.

You be the judge of yourself.

I believe one of Jesus’ messages is emptying ourselves of too much self.

I read somewhere that the two things that help people get out of themselves is marriage and having kids. In both those situations we have to think of others - much more than self.

I like the Hindu message about ego: EEEEEEEEE-GO.

Today’s first reading talks about this mysterious character in the Old Testament called the Suffering Servant. Here in Isaiah we have several of the Suffering Servant songs.

Isaiah was thinking about how some people are picked on. Isaiah was getting himself thinking about how we bully and demean and put down other human beings.

This is what happens to people at times when they are crushed by life - and how do we deal with such struggles. It could be divorce, being cheated on, having family disasters and our last name is run through the mud. It can also happen to those who are saints - servants - givers - and others feel small in their presence - so they try to put them down.

This is what happened to Jesus - when the Pharisees were forever criticizing him - and they and the scribes wanted to get him.

In today’s second reading, is the author of Hebrews saying that is why Jesus was able to have sympathy with us because he was pushed into our weaknesses.

MAKING THIS PRACTICAL

To make this practical let’s do what Jesus did.

He stressed being the servant - the giver - the go-fer - the last and not the first.

We go into the restaurant with family or friends. At the door we can step back and let others who are coming out come out ahead of us - and we can hold the door for our party. We can take the lesser seat if some are lesser seats. We can get the waiter or waitresses name. We can say to someone who hasn’t said a word, “Hey Jack you haven’t said anything about this, what’s your take?”

In every conversation, someone says something, and it triggers something in us, and we take over the conversation. Or we can put ourselves last and be the listener.

In driving, in coming out of parking lots, there are lots of opportunities to put others first.

In being handed the meat loaf - if that’s the way the meal goes - we can say to ourselves, “I hope I get an end piece - but so does Joe or Sally - so we leave the piece we want for someone else.

In pictures, we can make sure folks are not blocked out - and everyone gets the chance to be out front.

CONCLUSION

I think there is a doable message here - helping others out of the shadows and come into the light.

Jesus was PC - Pre Camera. DaVinci in his last supper painting puts Jesus front and middle center - but maybe at that dinner he was off to the side - and maybe James and John were center cut - and surprise Jesus was off to the side.