Thursday, July 16, 2009


ESCAPE TO THE KITCHEN


In the middle of the dinner
with a plate holding 3 half eaten
roasted potato spears – soft
pork – done just right – just
enough juice – neither soggy
nor tough, she got up,
went into the kitchen,
went “Phew!” Then --- she grabbed,
yes “grabbed,” 3 chocolate
chip cookies and crumbled
them into her mouth in seconds.
When you’re not getting
affirmation or recognition
in the dining room for all the work
you’ve done in the kitchen,
it’s chocolate chip cookie time,
I repeat, "Chocolate chip cookie time!"
It is not good to be alone.



© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

COMPETITION?


Am I dark red Jell-O,
no longer in hot water,
just sitting here
on this refrigerator shelf
in the dark,
waiting in the cold quiet,
not knowing what’s next?
Will anyone be excited,
when I make my appearance
at the family table?
Will I still have my shake?
Am I the only dessert
or do I have competitors?





© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

PLUS AND MINUS


The new baby, celebration,
but then the cries in the night,
last week my single aunt’s funeral,
the one we took in for the last
two years, a sweetheart, tears,
miss her already, but now time to catch up
with what we missed these past two years,
losing hair, gaining weight,
the first dent in the new car,
the pay check and then the fuel bill....

As the wise formulate it,
“Additions and subtractions:
the mathematics of life and love.”

We watch TV, relax, and kill time.
We take vacations that go too fast.
Days come; days go. Wheat and grapes
are crushed. How else do we get
bread and wine? We give; we take.
We fall on our knees in hurt;
we rise up with hope.




© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


FRONT PORCHES


What ever happened to front porches?
Why don’t they build them any more?

Don’t builders realize people need
to wave, watch, scout, knit, call neighbors
over for a few moments of chat to see what’s
happening next door or down the street –
to spot cats lurking in the bushes?

Build front porches ! Add on!
Put a carpenter to work!
Call it retro tech or old tech or whatever
and discover front porches are better
than texting, twittering or new techy.

Surprise – you’ll see sunrises or sunsets –
depending on which way you’re facing.
Surprise – you’ll see what Jesus saw
2,000 years ago: the birds of the air and
the flowers along the edges of one's life.



© Andy Costello, Reflections, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009


IT’S HARD TO SHAKE
ALL
THE DUST OFF ONE’S FEET



INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily for this 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time is, “It’s Hard To Shake All the Dust Off One’s Feet.”

“It’s Hard to Shake All the Dust Off One’s Feet.”

We’ve all had the sand in our shoes or sandals' experience at the beach. Kick. Kick. Kick.

Today’s readings – especially today’s gospel – got me into thinking about this issue: trying to get dust off our feet. Jesus tells his disciples to go two by two into different towns and proclaim the gospel – and if they won’t hear you, if they reject you, shake the dust from that town off your feet and go to other towns.


Well, it might be easy for Jesus to say this, but we find it difficult to do this. It's hard to let go, especially to let go of the feelings that result from being rejected insulted, hurt, denied, misunderstood or treated unfairly.

The whole world might tell us, “Let it go!” and we say deep down within ourselves thoughts like these:

- "Easier said than done.”
- “You’re not walking in my shoes.”
- “Easy for you to talk.”
- “You have no clue to what I’m feeling right now.”
- "It’s hard to shake all the dust off one’s feet."

Okay, we can shake some of the dust from our feet – but not all.

How many times have we continued an argument – an anger – a regret – a deep inner scream of “foul” or “unfair” for hours and weeks and months and sometimes even years on our inside face – our private face – with a smile on our outside face, our public face?

BASEBALL

We’ve all seen baseball managers come rushing out of the dugout and head to home plate in a baseball game and yell at an umpire about what they think was a horrible call. Then they start kicking the dirt – kicking and screaming.


We see a grown man having a temper tantrum.

We find ourselves laughing - or saying, "Loosen up guy! It’s only a game. Relax. Let it go."

US

Yet in a way we can all relate to that. We’ve all experienced what we have felt have been terrible calls – unfair decisions – when we lost a job or a promotion or a marriage or we’re angry with one of our kids who is behaving or living a life style that we feel was not the way we brought him or her up.

And these situations are more than a game. They are life. Jobs. Marriages. Raising kids. Raising grandkids. Tough stuff. Tough situations. Important stuff. Important situations.

Or we planned on such and such a thing to happen and we thought it was fair and square and obvious and a “no brainer” and we were turned down by a pastor or a supervisor.

DUST

We are dust and into dust we shall return.

It’s hard to forgive. It’s hard to lose. It’s hard to let go.“It’s hard to shake all the dust off one’s feet.”Things rub off on us.Things rub us the wrong way.

We are clay. We are human. We are sensitive. We have a mind of our own. We think we have given all of ourselves to another and the other just walks out on us.And we want to say to Jesus, "And you want me to just walk away, to turn the other cheek, to walk the extra mile, after shaking the dust of that person off us?"

Not easy. Not easy.

FIRST READING

Who of us can be like Amos in today’s first reading and keep cool and simply say things like, “Hey don’t blame me. Blame God. I was just a shepherd and I worked with sycamore trees and God called me to prophesy and to preach. So take your complaints to God, not me.”

SECOND READING

Who of us can deeply spiritualize life’s situations to the depth and height of Saint Paul as we heard him in today’s second reading? It’s hard to see the big picture, the eternal picture, and say all this is a mysterious part of God’s plan and God’s blessings for all eternity. It's difficult to grasp grace and God's will - to understand destiny, adoption, and that we were chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world. That's the stuff for pushing the mute and pause button in prayer - to pinch ourselves and say after a lot of silence - before we turn to dust, "Thank You God. Thank You!"

DO I END THIS SERMON HERE?

As I was thinking about all this for a sermon I wondered if I should end here.This sermon is kind of short, but summer sermons are supposed to be short. So do I just end by saying my opening comment: “It’s not that easy to shake all the dust off one’s feet!”? Do I hope that message will help a few people here – just knowing that some people can’t let go of hurts and unfairness that easily?

Is that enough?

Or do I say more?

Well, having thought about it, I said, “I better say some more. I stated the problem, but I offered no solution.

Is there a solution or a suggestion on how to deal with situations or people who stress us out and drive us up the wall.*

CONCLUSION: JAMES GILL S.J.

I thought about a workshop I attended that offered something that works for me. It was given years ago by a Jesuit, Father James Gill.The workshop was on stress and health and "Anger Management", etc. way before the movie with that name.

Jim Gill had been a Navy aviator in World War II and came out and went into pre-med. His father was a well-known heart specialist in the San Francisco area. In 1947 Jim Gill entered the Jesuits.

Along the line he started to wonder about those he was living and working with when they had stress issues – basic everyday human problems – and how they dealt with them. He wondered about solutions like, “Say some prayers.” or “Say a rosary.”

He thought, "Sure prayer might work for some, but prayer didn’t seem to work for others.”Now he wasn’t against prayer, but it didn’t seem to work many times. He also wondered about something Bishop Fulton J. Sheen had said. Fulton Sheen was the voice of the time – so to go against something Bishop Fulton J Sheen was dangerous stuff. But he wondered about Fulton Sheen’s comment: “There is no problem a psychiatrist can solve that can’t be solved in the confessional.”

So when it came time for what’s next in his life after finishing his regular studies to become a Jesuit priest, he talked to his superiors about all this and asked about becoming a psychiatrist. That meant becoming a doctor first and a lot more schooling.

He also said that some Jesuits weren’t doing all that well in handling anger and stress etc. Some tried alcohol or acted out sexually etc. when dealing with life – long before this stuff was in the papers.

So that’s the direction he went. He became a psychiatrist and he ended up doing a lot of good work for a lot of folks – especially priests and religious.

During that workshop, he offered 4 tricks or 4 suggestions on how to deal with situations that really tick us off or stress us out.Maybe long sermons tick you off or stress you out, so let me list them and then spell them out quickly:

1) Change the situation.
2) Change our way of interpreting the situation.
3) Change the way our body reacts.
4) Change the way we behave.
It’s a good list – but let me say that # 4 has never been that clear to me.

1) Change the Situation. Can we get out of the situation that is driving us crazy? Can we not drive there? Can we switch our job or the department we’re in, if that is the situation that is stressing us out?

This is the geographical cure. It’s precisely what Jesus is talking about in today’s gospel. If this town ain’t working, move to another town.Obviously this is very difficult in most cases.

2) Change the Interpretation. See the person who is driving us nuts in a new way. The thing that always intrigues me about this is this.:A priest or some other person is driving me nuts. Grrrrrrrrrrrr! Grrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrr! Yet it seems that other people love this person and see this person in a totally different way than I see him or her.

How is that possible? How do I come up with a new interpretation?

One hint: look into your life and think of someone you saw one way one time and then you saw that person in a new light later. What caused the change?

3) Change the way your body reacts and responds to someone who drives you batty. Walk. Exercise. Breathe. Calm down your body with healthy tricks. Sleep more. Do whatever it takes – if possible.

4) Change the way you behave as a result of having to deal with the crazies and the strange rangers in your life. Instead of venting or sabotaging them or trying to line up armies to speak against the person behind their back, stop the bad music. Or if you just hold it in, then find a person you can vent to - but be careful the venting doesn't turn to poison?
Enough already.


Did anything stick or cling to your this morning. Time will tell.

But I repeat. It’s not easy to shake ALL the dust off your feet.


*I have a whole book on this, but it's out of print for years, Andrew Costello, CSSR, How To Deal With Difficult People. It was my attempt in the late 1970's to answer this question. It has been translated into Korean, if that is your native language and you can't understand English. However, I guess I'm being difficult in saying this, because you can't understand any of this in the first place.

JACOB

[This is a sort of story – instead of a homily - for the 14th Friday in Ordinary Time – the readings being: Genesis 46: 1-7, 28-30 and Matthew 10:16-23. I went this way because in these weekday Masses, we’re moving to the end of the Jacob stories and the end of Genesis and we’ll begin Exodus next Monday.]

Good morning. My name is Jacob. Yes, Jacob. My time was a long time ago – some 1700 years before Christ. I was asked last night to say a few words to you this morning. Where do I begin?

I was wondering.... After hearing these stories about me, are there any questions in your mind you’d like to ask me – or am I just background words – long, long ago background music that leads up to Christ?

I was once asked, “What was THE key moment in your life – the turning point – the moment that changed everything?”

I thought of that for a while.

Then I laughed.

I laughed, because the answer would depend on what time of the day you asked me or what time in my life you wanted to know about.

Does anyone know – really know, the key moment of their life – the turning point – the moment that changed every other moment?

I don’t know.

Maybe that’s for historians and for next life discoveries.

So I don’t know. Yet, maybe you see life differently. Maybe you have a definite and clear answer to question and you could give it with a snap of your fingers.

My life ....

I was a twin – the second born – but my mother’s favorite. That was key – because she wanted me to grab my older brother’s first born son status – and birthright. I lied. She lied. We got it from my father Isaac – and I paid for it – twenty years on the run from my brother Esau – the stronger brother. Yet he ended up bigger and better than me – in that he forgave me for my sin – and we were reconciled.

Was it the death of my different wives – especially my favorite Rachel? Or was it seeing her pain when her sister Laban – my first wife – whom I thought was going to be Rachel – had sons – and she didn’t?

Life is funny.

What goes around comes around. I tricked my father and her father-in-law tricked me.

Was it that night when I couldn’t sleep – and I spent the whole night twisting and turning – and wrestling with a mysterious night time visitor – a demon, an angel, a wild man, myself - something – and I hung in there till morning and received a new nickname: Israel and new insights into life?

Life is interesting.

When you’re going through something horrible – like losing a job – or losing a loved one – you experience pain and deep anger. Then comes the “Why?” “Why?” “Why?” And then those why’s lead to a dozen new why’s. It's my experience that one never knows the answers to why’s or where a mystery ends.

One moves and the next place is worse than the place one left – but then one moves to a third place – and one realizes the second was more significant than the first place.

Or sometimes answers to mysteries appear in funny places. Then again, another day, another year, another experience, brings a new take on each place and each situation one has been in or gone trough. Life takes time. Life takes distance. Life takes old age to figure out young age.

So I’m sensing that the best course of action is this: instead of giving answers – instead of questions in my old age – I simply see scenes from my life.

For example, for years – years now – I couldn’t get over the disappearance and death of my favorite son, Joseph. It took me a long, long time to adjust – to get on with life – without him. Then when the cut had become a hard scar – when I had moved on – surprise, I find out he’s not dead, but alive.

There I am in a wagon – surrounded by wagons and children – wives and children – and we’re on the road again. This time we’re headed for my son Joseph – Joseph the Dreamer.

Who would believe he’d come back into our lives – and like Esau forgiving me – he forgave his brothers for what they had done to him and me.

So I’m thinking right now – maybe forgiveness is key – this ability to forgive others, self.

As to forgiving God? No I learned a long time ago that’s deepest idolatry – to think we can forgive God or even ask the question.

But how do people do this – this forgiveness? Does God plant the forgiveness seed in everyone – and as Jesus was to say some 1700 years after me – in some people seeds grow - 30, 60 and 100fold – and in some people the seed just gets choked up or it’s trampled by feet and wagon wheels.

Jesus said you’re going to get a lot of resistance preaching forgiveness – but lack of forgiveness is going to destroy family life and slay the human spirit.

I was to later hear Jesus’ Prodigal Son story. My story was the reverse. My son reached out to me and to my other kids – and forgave us everything. In Jesus story, the father waited. In my story it was the father who was waited for.

Enough. I’ve talked long enough. Let’s keep these wagons rolling and get to whatever is our next. Right now Egypt looks promising, but who knows what might happen next?

Hey, you never know. You never know what’s next. Amen.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


A THORN IN THE FLESH
WAS GIVEN TO ME

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is from today’s second reading, “A Thorn in the Flesh Was Given to Me.”

We all know the text. It’s like a thorn. It sticks us from time to time. It can also help us to be a rose – helping us to blossom and be more beautiful as a human being.

Past readers and preachers have planted this text in the soil of our soul. We know the reality of the garden: roses come with thorns.

CONTEXT

Today’s second reading from Second Corinthians has Paul saying, “Brothers and sisters: That I, Paul, might not become too elated, because of the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, an angel of Satan, to beat me, to keep me from being too elated.” “Elated” meaning too filled with myself.

He says he prayed to God three times – begging the Lord to get rid of this thorn, but the Lord said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.”

Paul was very smart in not telling us exactly what his problem was.

Down through the years there have been all kinds of guesses to what the thorn was: a hearing problem, epilepsy, stuttering, malaria, sex, someone or some faction in the Corinthian community that bothered him.

In one sense, it doesn’t make any difference. The key is to know our thorns – our issues – our problems.

I’ve heard married couples give presentations to those getting married and saying, “The 3 big problems in marriage are: money, sex, and in-laws.”

What would your list be? Name your problems. Name your discoveries.

Theologians would say, “Beware of the 7 Deadly Sins”. One of them is your nemesis.

What’s your problem? Besides chocolate, what’s your downfall? What’s your Achilles’ heel? What’s your fatal flaw? What do you confess to yourself in the confessional of your mind all the time – and over and over again?

PEOPLE AS THORNS

I remember listening to a mother talking to her daughter who was having trouble with someone at work.

Mom said, “Listen! Every work place, every team, every classroom, every group, every street, has someone who bothers someone – but it’s not always the same person – and it could be you.”

People can cut us in various ways.

So sometimes, it’s others; sometimes it’s ourselves.

And I have a theory – that the main thorn is within us – but if we can make the enemy someone out there, we can avoid facing our inner thorn – and we do this all the time.

If only he or she was gone – disappeared, everything will be all right. And surprise, if they go, disappear, move, graduate, die, their twin brother or sister moves in to take their place on our list of who and why we have a problem.

Surprise. We are repeat offenders – and it’s us.

Déjà vu is not only in our morning paper; it's also in our morning mirror.

Others would add – it’s one thorn after the other. We uproot one and another appears. So better get used to the reality: I never promised you a thornless rose garden.

THORNS

Writers – poets and song makers – from the beginning of time spotted those thorns on those roses – and made their comments – and sang their love songs about roses and thorns.

There is a German saying, “The rose hides the thorn.”

There is an Italian saying, “To water the rose, I have to water the thorn with it.”

John Keats, the poet, wrote that we spend our time with “the burrs and thorns of life.” [Sleep and Poetry, l. 239]

George Herbert, looking at his life, wonders as he bangs a table with his hand, “Have I no harvest but a thorn?” [The Collar]

Listen to the tone of these words from James Joyce from Dubliners – words where he mentions barren thorns, “Snow was general all over Ireland. It was falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, falling softly upon the Bog of Allen and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. It was falling, too, upon every part of the lonely churchyard on the hill where Michael Furey lay buried. It lay thickly drifted on the crooked crosses and headstones, on the spears of the little gate, on the barren thorns. His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.” [“The Dead,” from Dubliners 1916].

THORNS AS PROTECTION

Just as the thorns are there to protect fragile roses, so too thorns protect us.

It’s smart to have healthy defense mechanisms.

It’s smart to know if we want to be better at tennis or ping pong or pool or bridge, we better be playing someone better than us, otherwise we won’t improve.

Hopefully, we all have or had teachers that challenged us.

Hopefully, there are people at work whom we keep learning from because we know they know a lot more than we know.

Recently I noticed in a Catholic magazine that Mikhail Gorbachev said he was willing to speak up in favor of Pope John Paul II in his canonization process. Mikhail Gorbachev said that John Paul II got him to be aware of the Holy Spirit – and God’s presence in strategic planning – still saying he himself was an Atheist. [The Tablet, June 6, 2009, p. 31]

After reading this, I did a tiny bit of research on Gorbachev and I found an interesting comment about the value of thorns. He once said to someone, “We have no opposition. How can we check on ourselves?”

Today’s gospel and today’s first reading both talk about the need for opposition - for prophets – people who will speak up to the powers that be – people who will be thorns – and sometimes they draw blood.

Gorbachev said that he pushed for Boris Yeltsin to speak up more, to present opposing views. However, when Yeltsin did this, Gorbachev said, “I should have listened to those who begged me to send Yeltsin as an ambassador to some country in Africa.”

Popes, presidents, pastors, preachers, parents, newspapers need voices of opposition – to make sure we do some second thinking about our life choices and life views.

It seems that Pope Benedict XVI slowed down the Beatification and Sanctification process for coming up with saints in the Catholic Church – a process that John Paul II had sped up. They used to have what was called, “The Devil’s Advocate” – but someone erased that office or function.

Every group – every marriage – every council – needs people who play the part of The Devil’s Advocate.

Notice in today’s second reading, Paul calls the thorn in the flesh, an angel of Satan.

Popes and presidents - any one in charge – needs to have thorns.

Too many “Yes People” – not enough of “No People” – can bankrupt a country – a family – a church.

Every person who is tempted to sneak off to Argentina or enter seedy Internet sites or journey into Sin, needs a thorny conscience to scream, “WAYNT?” What are you not thinking?

Notice the roses – but don’t forget to notice they all have thorns.

I don’t have a green thumb – but I read up on roses and thorns a bit for this homily and found out, you can dethorn roses – but they don’t last as long – in fact, thorns help with the water getting into the plant.

Paul found out in the midst of his thorny struggles - Grace - the gift of Christ - was flowing water - and it was sufficient.


CONCLUSION

This country is celebrating our 233rd birthday this weekend – our Independence Day.

Declaring Independence is easy – compared to the battles that follow.

Of course, the first step is to nail it down on paper what we want, but like a Wedding Day, it’s just an “I Do” or a “We Believe.” There is that second day when we have to work hard and long to achieve and continue Independence – and realize there are always going to be those bloody thorns – civil wars and civil rights’ battles – this and the wisdom found in a rose bush tells us, expect those sharp bloody thorns for a lifetime. Amen.