The title of my homily for this Monday in the First Week
in Ordinary Time is, “On Being and Not Being the Favorite.”
How many times have we heard parents and others say, “I
have no favorites”?
How many times have we said to ourselves in response, “Hello!”
How many times have we thought to ourselves about
teachers, coaches, parents, bosses: “You’re playing favorites”?
When challenged - people will sometimes say, “Well, it
all depends what we’re dealing with here. Sometimes so and so is better with this
and so and so is better with that. And I like this about this person and that
about that person. So it all depends.”
Of course - sometimes.
OUR FAMILY
I love this topic of favorites - because I enjoy watching
the dynamics of daily life - and I like to needle people - because I sense that
the issue of likes and dislikes, favorites and non-favorites is very much part
of the fabric of life.
I think many modern folks are missing out on the great
learnings that kids and parents can experience when they have lots of kids. And
some of those learnings can come from comparisons and favorites or perceived
favorites. Of course, how many kids people have has lots of different issues
going on. Moreover, this issue can be
learnt and felt in classrooms and teams and Thanksgiving and what have together
with cousins.
How many parents learn how to parent from that first and
second child and the third and fourth have it so much easier. Yet the oldest
have some of the raw material for different types of growth than the youngest.
In our family, my sister Peggy was my dad’s favorite. And
just last week I heard my sister Mary say, “I was certainly not the favorite.”
In our family we joked that my brother was my mom’s
favorite - as is true for many first sons in an Irish Catholic family. Is that
true for Italians or Filipinos? I don’t know. Or is every family different?
We all have heard Leo Tolstoi’s comment in his novel, Anna Karenina, “Happy families are all
alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Anna Kerenina, [1875-1877], pt. I, Chapter I. Is that true? I don’t
know. Read the book to see what he means.
We were a happy family, but I was either the 3rd
or 4th out of 4 favorite.
TODAY’S
READINGS
I began thinking about this today for this homily because
it’s one of my favorite topics and it’s an issue loud and clear in today’s
readings.
In today’s first reading from the first Book
of Samuel, a man named Elkanah had two wives: Hannah and Peninnah. What would that be like? What’s it like in a
harem? [Cf. 1 Samuel 1:1-8]
Today’s text says that he liked and loved Hannah more
than Peninnah - but it was Peninnah who gave him sons and daughters and it was
Hannah who didn’t have any kids. Did you hear what today’s text says, “Her
rival - [that is Peninnah] to upset her [that is Hannah] - turned it into a
constant reproach to her that the Lord left her barren.”
Woo! What would that be like?
It’s the stuff of the Scriptures - family dynamics.
And in today’s gospel Jesus calls 4 men - Peter, Andrew,
James and John. [Cf. Mark 1: 14-20]
Obviously Andrew would be the best, but Jesus made Peter
and John his favorites - and John in the gospel of John is called the Beloved -
and sat next to Jesus at the Last Supper.
Were the others jealous?
Did any of this nag Judas?
CONCLUSION
Just some stuff to think about.
Maybe there is some stuff about growing up - that is
still lingering - that we could look at
and laugh.
Maybe we do some needling that hurts others.
Now as to favorite priests, we now have Father Bob - sitting
right here with us today - who will be your favorite in 6 months and you’ll ask
him to do everything. Right!
The title of my homily for this feast of Christ’s Baptism
is, “Chosen.”
I chose that title and that theme from the first sentence
from one of today’s possible first readings - Isaiah 42: 1, “Thus says the Lord: Here is my servant whom I
uphold, my chosen one with whom I am pleased.”
And we’ll find that theme in today’s gospel when Jesus is
baptized by John the Baptist in the Jordan River. The Holy Spirit descends upon
Jesus and a voice from heaven says, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well
pleased.”
FEELINGS -
EVOKING FEELINGS
So after spotting that theme of being chosen, I began
thinking about what “Chosen” is about.
It hit me that This theme of chosen - being chosen -
feeling I’m chosen - can evoke some powerful feelings.
We’ve all heard stories about issues of being chosen when
it comes to sports. Who starts - who doesn’t? Who makes the team - who doesn’t?
We’ve heard parents screaming from the stands at coaches for not putting their
son or daughter into the game.
It happens in academics. Somewhere along the line we
choose or accepted ourselves as a A or a B or a C student. That choice or
acceptance could have sculpted our future classroom and life experiences. Who
makes the National Honor Society - who doesn’t? That might have brought
scholarship money or getting into a college of our choice. It could also have
brought bragging rights. Not making the National Honor Society or a Dean’s List can impact our whole life. It can also
cause angry phone calls. It can cause people to take their kids out of a school
or write letters or make nasty phone calls to principals and to teachers.
Being chosen happens at work - who gets jobs - who gets
the glory - who gets a name for herself or himself.
It can happen in families. One kid feels that mom and dad
prefers an older or another brother or sister much more than me.
A key word that is often found in all these situations is
the word, “fair”.
Listen to kids for 30 minutes and you’ll hear the word
“fair” a half dozen times. It could be size of cake cuts and slices or the
amount of frosting on a piece of cake.
Another key theme when it comes to this issue of being
chosen is comparisons.
Then there is the opposite - being rejected - and
feelings of being rejected or being in second or last place.
I’ve heard people talk about so and so being a teacher’s
favorite - and getting an award - and that person is still angry about a
specific teacher and the other kid and this happened 55 years ago.
Not fair. Take the major reality of life - falling in love and marriage. Here humans can experience both being chosen by another as well as rejection by another. A wedding and a divorce - and all that leads up to both these realities - the stuff of life.
I played baseball for the Bay Ridge Robins in my grammar
school years and the manager put his brother in to play first base the whole
season - except for one out. That was my only chance to star. I didn’t. I sat on the bench that
whole season. So I can relate to being a sub - a person in waiting.
Not fair.
THE CHOSEN
Somewhere along the line you might have heard mention of
a book entitled, The Chosen. It was
chosen for various awards. It sold 3.4 million copies worldwide. It was written
by Chaim Potok - a writer and a rabbi. He served in the Korean War as a U.S.
Army Jewish chaplain.
It deals with two Jewish boys - Danny and Reuven - who
grew up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, New York. It deals with their fathers. It
deals with religion - and different groups within a religion. It deals with
comparisons.
Danny Saunders one of the boys was chosen since childhood
to be a rabbi of a strict Jewish Sect when he grows up. His friend, Reuven Malter, is from another Jewish
sect - more liberal.
It won’t ruin the book to say that Reuven in the end decides
to be a rabbi and Danny the Chosen One decides to become a psychologist.
The book begins with both boys playing baseball for their
respective Jewish religious teams. Danny
hits Reuven in the face with a baseball - forcing him to go to the hospital and
Danny goes to see the kid he hit in the face smashing his glasses.
It takes a while, but they become lifetime friends.
The book deals with how fathers raise their sons - and how fathers deal with
sons who choose a different way of life than the one’s their fathers choose for
them.
A reader - especially a man - will certainly do a lot of
thinking about his dad - and compares their dad to the dads of their
friends. For example, in The Chosen
Reuven notices that Danny’s father, the
Rabbi, only speaks to - better - at Danny. And when he speaks it’s only
religious comments. All else is silence. And surprise Reuven’s father is the
one who gets Danny to read a lot more than Jewish religion material.
It will get a father thinking about a son’s choices.
The book is weak on women, moms and daughters - but the
issue of choices - influencing - what we want for our kids - certainly will hit
us.
So too the book will get us thinking about religious
choices - going to worship - not going to worship - being stretched and being challenged
- all the struggles young people go through as they move into their futures.
BACK TO JESUS
When we read the Gospels, when we hear the story of
Jesus, we hear over and over again the question of Father and Son. We also
heard in the gospel last Sunday - the feast of the Holy Family - about Joseph
and Mary searching for Jesus - who stayed behind in Jerusalem - feeling he has
to do his Father - God’s - business.
Certainly he surprised Mary and perhaps Joseph if he was still alive when Jesus
a carpenter becomes a rabbi.
Was he surprised when he heard in the waters that day - a
voice from on high, “You are my beloved Son, with you I am well pleased”?
I’ve read that Jesus wanted everyone he met to experience
the same feeling he felt in being recognized, chosen, called, and told he was
pleasing to God our Father. So he went about choosing and calling people by
name.
US
Each of us has to deal with this issue of “chosen”.
As well as the theme of fairness and comparisons.
All our lives we wrestle with how our dads and moms saw
us - interacted with us.
We’re here in Church - so we deal with God and religion
issues.
I would assume each religious group, parish, sect,
sub-groups - has to deal with feelings of who we are. Am I in the right
religion - the right community?
I would assume we have to listen to Jesus on how we see,
how we treat each other, Jesus had the Pharisees, the Sadducees, the Scribes,
judging him constantly.
I would assume that issue of judging others - feeling
better or worse than others - because of looks, clothes, skin color, weight, height,
age, nationality, background, place of origin - what have you - being chosen or
feeling I’m on the bench or not even on the team - are life issues.
CONCLUSION
In giving out communion - especially at high school
Masses - I’ve seen kids having the name of their boyfriend or girlfriend -
ballpoint penned on the palm of their hand. “Body of Christ! Amen.”
Well, I would think it would be a good reflection to imagine
ourselves going up the aisle to God in communion and opening up the palm of God’s
hand. Surprise we see our name carved right there. [Cf. Isaiah 46:16]
Then we look God in the eye - eye to eye - and see his
smile and his love for us. Then to hear God say, “You are my beloved daughter -
my beloved Son - with you I am well pleased.”
And hopefully, we figure out the great life message of
Christianity. Jesus starts as a baby - with great drama - angels and shepherds
and Magi - come to see him. Jesus is the chosen one. Then we get hints of
possible rejection. Then we realize by
Lent that Jesus is the Big Rejected One. The beatings, the crown of thorns, the
death on the Cross, is the ultimate rejection. That’s Good Friday. Easter
Sunday - the Resurrection of Jesus - screams out - loud and clear - that Jesus
is the Great Chosen One. Amen.
January 10, 2016
RESERVATION AT THE TABLE
Did you know your name is at a place
at a table in the banquet? It is. Okay
some people better show up wearing
a wedding garment - but some prodigals
just have to show up - and they will be
welcomed. You’re kidding? Nope. Well,
that’s how I read the Good News.
How about you? Are you going to show
up and look for your name and your table? Are you going to sit down and go, “Phew!
The title of my homily for this Friday after the feast of
the Epiphany is, “Skin Deep.”
In today’s gospel Jesus touches the hand, the skin, of a someone
with a skin disease.
In Jesus’ times many skin diseases - “uneasies” with
other’s skin - were called leprosy. Most
of the Bible commentaries say the skin disease of leprosy or Hansen’s disease -
was not what these folks in the Bible had.
Whatever….
Whatever! People are scared of skin diseases in our times as well as in Jesus’ time …..
What I like is that Jesus’ touched skin - pressed the
flesh. He washed feet and let his feet be washed.
Without rubber gloves….
Of course we can catch stuff by touching stuff and
touching skin. In every hospital there are dispensers everywhere to squirt away
germs. They didn’t know about germs and microbes in Jesus’ time - like we know
today - but they had inklings.
SKIN PROBLEMS
As we all know there are multiple skin problems - skin
cancer, lupus, measles, acne, eczema, rosacea, cysts, cellulites, shingles,
psoriasis, rashes, cold sores, what have you.
Many of us saw Mikhail Gorbachev’s birth mark - called a
Port Wine birthmark or “nevus frameus”.
In our time there has developed a field in psychology
called, “psychodermatology”. In looking up stuff on this for this homily I read
an interesting story. In a conference on
skin - someone said there is no connection between skin and the emotions. A person who said there was a connection said
the speaker said that while his fly was open. The guy turned red - checked his
fly - but not his face - which had become red. It wasn’t true about his zipper,
but it proved the point - that our skin is effected by our emotions. We scratch,
we itch, we bite our skin. When I’m nervous - like in traffic, I scratch my neck and my skull.
JESUS IS A MODEL
Jesus models how to treat one another - no matter how we
look - no matter how our skin is - no matter how old and how wrinkled we are.
I assume that means how we treat others - and how we
treat ourselves.
I assume that means how we see ourselves in the mirror.
I assume this means how we reflect on issues of esteem of
self and others.
PIZZA - LIMA
I enjoy telling the story about how I once had to undergo
a skin treatment to deal with pre-cancerous skin on my face and my upper neck
and shoulders.
The skin doctor had me apply this white cream to my face
and neck for a month. I did and my face became red and speckled like a pizza. I
was on the road and preaching at the time - so the dermatologist suggested I do
this when work was slow.
I was preaching in other parishes - mainly around Lima,
Ohio at the time.
So there I was hearing confessions in the dark - on a
Saturday afternoon.
Nobody went face to face - but they could. Then the last
person was a lady who went to confession. She sat there 5 feet away in the
semi-darkness - making her confession face to face. She didn’t look up but at
the end as I said, “Go in peace” she reached out her hand and shook mine in
peace - but when she saw my face for the first time she panicked.
Ooops, she didn’t know what to. She then took her hands
and rubbed them on the side of her hip - as she walked out.
At that instant I knew what it might feel like to be a
person with leprosy.
CONCLUSION
I’ve read in Biblical Commentaries that some New
Testament writers are implying that Jesus was the most figured person of all
time - the ultimate leper - and the call is to reach out for him - more than
skin deep.
If you have ever seen the picture St. Alphonsus did of
Christ on the Cross, you’d get the message - seeing Christ on the cross - much
worse than the clean Christ on the cross up here. Amen.
January 8, 2016
CHAIRS
Guess they started with rocks
and tree trunks - then cushions.... “Wait, instead of walking further down forest trails, let’s sit and talk. Let’s finish the story?" ["Or argument?”] Guess chairs improved once people settled down - and stopped being migrants. Chairs! Chairs! Chairs! Sit down and tell me all your stories - all you heard late and deep into the dark night.
