YOUR FAMILY AS A NOVEL

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Your Family as A Novel!”

How’s that for a novel idea?

Writers – and teachers of creative writing courses – often say to those who want to write, “Write about what you know about; don’t write about, what you don’t know about!” Now that’s common sense.

If you wrote a novel about your family, would anyone want to read it? What would be the surprises? Would it be a page turner? Would it be funny? Would it be sad? What would be the name of the chapters? If it were published, would some story cause family “Uh oh’s?” Would there be lawsuits?

The beauty of a novel is that you can make the facts fiction and the fiction facts.

If you wrote a novel about your family, what would be its title?

HOLY FAMILY SUNDAY

This Sunday is Holy Family Sunday and the Church puts this feast at a perfect time: to reflect on our family near the end of one year – near the beginning of a new year. What has this year been like for your family? What are your hopes for next year?

And this feast is right at Christmas time. And it’s my perception that Christmas is the feast of the immediate family, while Thanksgiving is the feast of the extended family. I don’t know if that’s true for every family. I sense that the weather being better for November means married brothers and sisters get together with their families for Thanksgiving Dinner more than they do for Christmas.

Moreover, Christmas is more intimate. It’s smaller. The key moment is the opening of gifts together – especially to see the faces of little kids. Wrapping paper is important. Days before, kids picking up and shaking and weighing with one’s hands – and guessing and hoping what’s inside a wrapped box is part of the liturgy of family Christmas.

That’s my perception. I don’t know if I’m right. What’s your perception? What’s your family practice? If you were writing a novel, you have to notice these things.

END OF THE YEAR

At the end of the year the media likes to look backwards: picking the top ten events – top ten movies – top ten games – significant deaths – etc. I don’t know about your family, but for years now, we ask each other on New Year’s Eve, “What was your year like? What happened? What were the top ten moments? What was the top moment?”

Then we make predictions for the New Year. I am looking forward to doing this again on December 31st when I’m with my two sisters.

Looking at your family, what was 2009 like for you?

Looking at your family, what are your dreams for 2010 or even the next decade?

Looking at your family, what is the state of the union?

Looking at your family, what does the story sound like?

If it was a novel, what plots and subplots are going on? What are the key events? What are the stories – and the threads of the stories? Who are the key characters? How do they act and interact? How good are you in constructing dialogue? Listen to your family talking to each other. What do they talk about? What are your everyday scenes? Could you put them together in words – recreating what you heard and saw in writing?

TODAY’S READINGS

Today’s readings give us a few options and a few choice ideas and values to reflect upon.

The first reading from the First Book of Samuel [1:20-22, 24-28] is giving us early hints about the future greatness of Samuel. Hints – foreshadowing – is another key to good writing.

The second reading from the First Letter of John [3:1-2, 21-24] tells us we are all called into the Family of God – and the revelation is that when we live as God’s children – we become more and more like God.

And today’s gospel from Luke [2: 41-52] tells the story about Jesus being lost for 3 days – and he is coming of age and says, “I must be about his father’s business.”

If I hear teenagers, if I hear parents, I keep hearing a message of the struggle in growing up – becoming one’s own person – breaking free – yet Jesus supposedly didn’t leave home till he was around 30.

Sometimes I say to teenagers, “Thank God if your parents are strong. Those who lift weights or exercise, push against what is heavy.” Hopefully, parents are strong and want you to make good strong decisions in your life. Hopefully, they care to push and press. Hopefully, they don’t want you to make stupid moves.”

Family. Parenting. Obviously love, balance, and clarity are called for.

What are your reflections this Holy Family Sunday about your family?

If you wrote a novel and you used your family as background, what would the story sound like? Would it be holy?

FAMILY: HAPPY OR UNHAPPY?

I’m guessing that I’ve read Leo Tolstoy’s interesting quote about families about 4 times this year. Each time I wonder, just what did he mean? I don’t know if it’s true. The quote is the opening words of his novel, Anna Karenina, [1878], “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

Is that true? What does that mean? Does that trigger anything for you? Do you agree with that? If you were in Barnes and Noble or Borders and you picked up Anna Karenina and read the opening words of the book, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” – would you want to read the whole novel?

It’s the whole first paragraph of the story – and I think it’s a great hook?

I think it’s a clever book promotion by Tolstoy.

Without ruining the novel, it describes how this group of connected people – some family – get themselves into various itchy situations – causing lots of unhappiness. It tells about affairs, rejection, a wife living with a husband she doesn’t want to live with, fighting, flirting, accusations, gossip, pregnancy by someone else. The Anna Karenina principle goes like this: “In any system, no one factor guarantees success; however there are factors that guarantee failure.”

And the novel talks about a lot of failures.

Is that the formula for a successful novel? Is unhappiness the formula for a successful novel?

I always remember something a former Los Angeles cop, Joseph Wambaugh, said about the key to his novels and the long time ago NBC TV show, Police Story. “I have people bringing problems in their marriages into work and I have people having problems at work bringing them home.”

How’s that for a family dynamic? The “How was your day?” question can sometimes be very significant in how we treat one another.

Are you taking out on me – what you didn’t take out on someone else?

As priest I wonder if I have heard more of the tough stuff, the rough stuff, the problem stuff, than the good stuff. I wonder if I have heard more about unhappiness than happiness. I was thinking about this as I was putting together this homily last night. I don’t think I have become cynical. I hope not. I have thought at times, “Write a novel!” I started one about a priest and didn’t get that far. I’m too busy. I would like to write more. But I always say to myself what a bishop once told me, “Some of my priests are interfacing more with a computer screen than they are with human faces.” Seeing so many people texting and twittering, cell phoning and computing, this problem the bishop was talking about is not just a priest avoiding people problem, it’s a human being avoiding human being problem.

So If I ever get time to write, that will certainly be part of the story. Trouble is, I don’t get to retire till I am retired. So I figure I’ll have increased dementia and increased need to get to the bathroom – and I won’t be able to finish my novel. But if I do finish it, I promise you, you’ll be in it, but the names will be changed to protect the innocent.

CONCLUSION

How do I end this novel homily?

I don’ t know. So let me close with a quote from another novelist, Jane Austen. In her novel, Emma [1816], she wrote, “Nobody, who has not seen the interior of a family, can say what the difficulties of any individual of that family may be.”

In other words, only we the family know the inside pages, what’s inside the cover of our family book. Only I, the one inside the covers of my skin, know what’s going on inside me.

So I guess the first step is to make sure we take the time to listen to ourselves, to talk to each other and read each other’s stories.

The picture on top is that of a family wedding I saw while on a Baltic Cruise. It was taking place in St. Petersburg, Russia, on the banks of the Neva River - August 28, 2009. Why the picture? Family. Okay. But also scenes from Anna Karenina take place in St. Petersburg. Is that enough? I don't know. Whatever. I was looking for an interesting picture - to capture my theme: Your Family As A Novel. If you're reading this, I caught you to get this far. Smile.

SEEING THROUGH
THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD

Sitting there at church – Christmas Mass – Jack was taking it all in – front and back – and all around him. Great images. Great scenes. Great drama. The stage called “Church”. And not just the Christmas crib up front – but the people – the people everywhere.

Sitting there at Mass, he chucked inwardly. He said, “Aha!” to himself. He was realizing for the first time that the term, “Christmas Mass” is redundant. It’s repeating itself. It’s like saying, “Mass Mass” twice. Christmas means, “Christ’s Mass”. “M – A – S” – the last 3 letters of “Christmas” – is the word for “mass”, but without the final “S”. “I never realized that till now,” he thought to himself. Then he said to himself, “No wonder Catholics come to Mass at Christmas time. I get it. Good.”

Sitting there at Mass he always did a lot of this kind of thinking – but come to think about it – Jack did a lot of thinking all the time. His 3 kids in describing their dad years later – to their spouse or friends – would say, “My dad was very quiet – but when he said something, you found out, he did a lot of thinking about what he said.”

Sitting there at Mass, Jack began thinking about something his dad had taught him way back when.

I guess at Christmas time, we do a lot of thinking – a lot of remembering of mom and dad – our sisters and brothers – when we were kids – and it was Christmas.

Sitting there at Mass he remembered something his dad had taught him some 40 years earlier. His dad taught him to see through the back of his head.

He remembered the moment – the teaching moment – when this life lesson took place. The classroom was Macy’s Department Store. It was Christmas time – and he and his dad were on the line going up to see Santa Claus – to tell Santa what he wanted for Christmas.

The line was long – very long. When they finally got up to Santa, his dad turned and looked backwards. He saw lots of kids with their dads and moms on the long line. Then his dad said to Santa Claus, ‘Santa, you need a break – a bathroom break? Go for it now – because there’s a long line coming. My son and I can wait. I’ll stand here and say, ‘It’s my fault.’”

Santa was taken by surprise and said, “Buddy, thank you. Thank you. Nobody has ever said that to me all these years – these 17 years I’ve been doing Santa Claus. Great. Just give me 7 minutes. I’ll be right back.”

His father turned – and with hands raised in a “Whoa!” gesture, palms open and facing the long line – he said loudly to the crowd: “Santa will be right back! Relax.”

And Santa went to the bathroom.

Then he came back with a cup of coffee, two donuts for himself – in fact, his stomach was not a pillow, but a lot of donuts – and he also had two chocolate chip cookies, one for Jack and one for his dad – all in both hands.

Then out came a big, “Ho, ho, ho! Now let’s get back to you kids! Son, what’s your name?”

And his father said, “His name is John.”

And Jack told Santa, “It’s Jack!”

“Ho, ho, ho, Jack,” Santa said as he put down his cup of coffee. “Now Jack what do you want for Christmas?”

And Jack remembered there in church that Christmas Mass – exactly what he wanted when he was 7 years old and it was almost Christmas. He told Santa he wanted a baseball glove and a flexible flyer sled.

Jack didn’t see his dad winking at Santa. Jack didn’t have eyes in the back of his head yet. But looking back now he smiled and said to himself, “That must have been what happened, because now being a dad, that’s what dads do.”

And Santa said, “We’ll see about that!” and Jack remembered that’s exactly what he got that Christmas.

It was then – at that moment – that Santa said it. “Mister, thanks for getting me the bathroom break. They never think about that around here. You must have eyes in the back of your head – seeing all those people behind you. Thank you.”

In time, Jack realized his dad did have eyes in the back of his head.

In high school football Jack played linebacker and his dad went to all his home games. One game Jack sacked the other team’s quarterback 4 times. And that night his dad told him. “When I played football I also played linebacker. And I learned there are two kinds of quarterbacks, those who can sense someone coming at them from the blind side – and those who can’t. You were lucky today – because he never saw you coming all 4 times. I was watching. Good job. And the best I ever did, was one game when I got 2 quarterback sacks.”

In college Jack didn’t play football. Yet he went to a couple of games every season with his dad. All through the years his two sisters and his mom didn’t like football. “Boring. Boring. Boring!” they would chant in a refrain – whenever they saw Jack and his dad watching a football game on TV or talking about football.

Thinking back, Jack said to himself, “My dad only corrected me once. And it was at a football game. I stood up to watch a running back who had broken through the line and was going 76 yards for a touchdown. Dad pulled my sleeve and said, 'Jack there are people behind you, who are also trying to see the game.'”

And he thought, “Dad knew that without turning his head.”

And some tears came into his eyes and a squinch – the squinch we get in the side of our head – just above the front of our ears – when there are this kind of tears.

“That was dad.”

Jack thought about all these things as he looked around the church that Christmas Mass. “Wow do I miss him – especially at Christmas.”

And as he looked up at the pulpit – and the front of the church – that Christmas Mass, he remembered the eulogy he gave at his dad’s funeral in this very church just two years ago – December.

He began by telling everyone his dad once told him his favorite Gospel story was the one about the miracle of the wine at Cana in Galilee – when Mary noticed that the wedding party was about to run out of wine. And that was the gospel story the family picked for their dad’s funeral. “Life,” my dad said, “is all about others – not oneself. Get that and you got life. Get that and you got happiness. Get that and you got God.”

In the funeral eulogy for his dad, he told everyone how his dad taught him not only to check the rear view mirror when wanting to move into another lane when doing highway driving – but to make a quick turn to actually see who might be behind you. Dad would often say, “You have to have eyes in the back of your head, if you want to be a good driver – if you want to make it in this life.”

“So looking back,” Jack said in his dad’s eulogy, “ the greatest gift my dad ever gave me – was not a baseball glove or a flexible flyer sled, not his old car or my first bike, but his message of being aware of other people – especially those coming up behind you.

“And dad practiced what he preached. He said little – but wow was he aware of other people – giving some people lots of room – giving others a chance to shine and get credit – like he always did for my mom – always making her #1.”


Sitting there he continued remembering the words he said in the eulogy, “Like in coming to the door at our house or coming into church or a store, my dad would open the door and never simply walk through. For some reason he would always stop and turn and sometimes there would be another person coming behind and he would either hold the door for them – or actually step back and let them go through first – sometimes three or four people in a row – often people who were perfect strangers.”

Sitting there in Church, this Christmas, two years later, Jack felt very thankful – in his memories about his dad.

“That’s my dad,” he said to himself again – as if his dad was sitting there right behind him in church that Christmas Mass. “What a great Christmas gift he was. Thank you, Dad. Thank You, God.”

[This is my 17th annual Christmas story in memory of Father John Duffy, CSSR - who always wrote a Christmas story for his niece. He asked me to type a few of them for him. When we got the call that he died that Christmas Eve in 1993, I was just beginning to work on my Christmas homily. It struck me to write a Christmas story in memory of him for that Christmas - in place of coming up with a Christmas homily - and I've been doing these Christmas stories ever since.]

CHRISTMAS

GREETINGS!

May

you know

the glory of God
in red berries and the glisten
and glow of new cold snow.
May you be surprised in church,
not just with Jesus in the crib and
the cross, the bread and the crowd,
but by 99 quiet babies in cradles

and 1 baby who is crying

till she spots you

and then she starts to laugh.
And may you be there at the
exact moment on Christmas morn,
when children rush in to rip open their gifts

from under the Christmas tree;
but especially

may you always have room
in your Inn for Christ.
O come let us adore him.
O come let us adore him.
Christ the Lord.

© Reflections, 2009, Andy Costello

With your mouse

put the arrow or cursor

on a red berry and tap, tap,

[twice]

and see those beautiful red berries

in our Marian Garden up close and cold.

SMALL

Small like a seed.

Small like a baby.

Small like a smile.

Small like a wave with one’s hand from a car or at a basketball game – to someone 30 yards away – or 30 seats away.

Small like an act of kindness.

Small like an “Amen” at Mass – that connects us with all those other small “Amen’s” at Mass – and then they become a loud “Amen” that is sent into God’s ear – and each other’s ears.

Small like a step – one step at a time – one day at a time – in A.A., Alcoholics Anonymous – and slowly a person sobers up – wakes up – slowly – one step at a time – okay sometimes there is a slip – but they start again – and it was only a small slip in the long run.

Small like the holding of a baby and rocking her or him till they fall asleep.

Small like dropping into a nursing home – to see a next door neighbor who is slipping slowly in dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Small like reading a page of a book – one page at a time – and in time the book is read.

Small like a hearing aid battery in the hand of a widower with early Parkinson’s at a senior citizens’ center – who is missing a lot of what’s going on and a lady with a clipboard - who is just happening to go by stops and says, “Oh, let me put that battery in for you. My mom always says they make them too small.”

Small like a “yes” today – and a “yes” tomorrow – and another “yes” the next day – each “yes” with love – each “yes” being something to make the whole enterprise called a “family” or “household” work – as in filling and emptying the dish washer – and doing the big weekly food shopping trip – with the added getting needed milk on the way home from work on a Wednesday evening – because of a cell phone call – and then there is soccer moming – and football dading – as well as the going to work Monday to Friday – the commuting – the daily work for daily bread – and soon a couple celebrate their 25th and then their 50th wedding anniversary.

Small like a returned phone call – or an e-mail – seconds small.

Small like a snow flake – and in 24 hours we have a couple of feet of snow.

Small like shoveling snow – and in an hour a path is cleared – and then a few hours later – the same shoveling – but good thing you did the first hour – because it makes the second hour of shoveling snow easier - sometimes.

Small like chopping celery – or putting together a salad – or making 5 bean soup.

Small like turning lights out – so as to do our part is not wasting electricity.

Small like picking up a candy wrapper on the floor near a waste paper basket.

Small like a male putting the seat up before and the down afterwards.

Small like going the extra mile – giving the shirt off our back – putting a dollar in the poor box – dropping 50 cents into a guitar case of a metro musician – like buying girl scout cookies.

Small like learning how to play the piano – or violin – tuba or trombone – one lesson at a time – one piece at a time.

Small like sitting with a little kid and having him or her read a kids’ book to us or us to them – concentrating on them – being present to them – and not to the TV in the background – and they feel like they are secure – having someone giving them undivided attention.

Small like having a cup of coffee with a co-worker or a friend – but we really want to get moving – but they look like they need a break and a break with a live, human being – and they have nothing really important to say – so they say trivia to us – and they feel good – that someone listened to them.

Small like putting together a jigsaw puzzle as a family – one piece at a time.

Small like playing “Go Fish” with a 4 year old or chess with a teenager.

Small like a young girl named Mary – a no-name from basically a no-name town – who said “Yes” to God and gave us the first Christmas.

Small like a small town like Nazareth and Bethlehem – where Jesus a small town carpenter begins – and slowly changes the world.

Small like a light in the window – a sign of welcome – “I’m home! Do drop in.”

Small like decorating a Christmas tree – one ornament at a time – one string of tinsel at a time – one Christmas tree light wrapping at a time.

Small like a small compliment, “Did you lose weight?” even though we now it’s a lie – but we know it will makes someone’s day.

Small like a small note – on a Christmas card – instead of just a signature.

Small like a “Please” or a “Thank you”.

Small like remembering someone’s birthday – with a card or a call.

Small like letting someone out into traffic – ahead of us – otherwise they might be there two minutes – because we notice in our rear view mirror there is a whole stream of traffic coming behind us.

Small like knowing what the other’s favorite ice cream flavor is – or one’s favorite movie – or color – or TV program.

Small like fitting through the eye of the needle and discovering the kingdom of God is all around us on the other side of an attitude change.

Small like a 3 page homily on the idea of “small”.





Homiletic Reflection for the 4th Sunday of Advent - Year C. The small word "small" in today's first reading as well as the Gospel triggered this reflection. Cf. Micah 5: 1-4a; Hebrews 10:5-10; Luke 1:39-45

AN INNER ECHO
CALLED, “JOY!”

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “An Inner Echo Called ‘Joy!’”

As you know the middle Sunday in both Advent and Lent echo the theme of “Joy.” The old names in Latin were “Gaudete Sunday” for the Third Sunday in Advent, today, and “Laetare Sunday” for the Fourth Sunday in Lent. The antiphons and readings echo the theme of joy.

As you know one of the great Christmas hymns is, “Joy to the World, the Lord has Come.” Some people who say they never sing in church, start singing when the Christmas song, “Joy to the World” begins.

Joy to the world, the Lord has come.

QUESTIONAIRE – 10 QUESTIONS

Here are 10 questions on the theme of joy:

1) What were the ten most joyful moments in your life so far – and list them in order of importance – 1 being the best?

2) What brings you joy?

3) Do you ever sing in the shower or when you are in your car all by yourself?

4) Tell me about a moment you brought joy to the heart of another?

5) Who is the most joyful person you met in your life so far?

6) Without using a mirror, are you aware when there is a smile on your face or when there is a scowl on your face?

7) For some people Christmas brings back joyful memories; for some people, Christmas has sorrowful memories? Please explain?

8) Now that we have 4 sets of mysteries to our rosary, did you ever notice that 3 out of 4 are positive? That’s 15 mysteries or life experiences that are upbeat – and only 5 that deal with sorrow and suffering. How about the mysteries of your life?

9) Which has the greatest impact on the joy level of a person: they are an oldest child, a youngest child, an only child, the only boy, the only girl, they are a middle child, they have or had fun parents, they have a happy marriage, they have a child, they have children, they have a job they love to get out of bed to go to, they are retired, they have money in the bank, one’s kids are happily married, they have grandkids, they have faith, they have a great mother-in-law, other?

10) How would you define or describe joy?

QUOTATIONS – 20 QUOTATIONS ON JOY

I had 10 questions, so I decided to come up with 10 good quotes on joy. I found so many – that it was difficult in even getting them down to these 20.

“Joy is the echo of God within us.” Leon Bloy

“All I can say about life is, Oh God, enjoy it.” Bob Newhart

“A person will be called to account on Judgment Day for every permissible thing one might have enjoyed but did not.” Talmud

“Did you bring joy?” / “Did you find joy?” Egyptian god Osiris asks those who come to him after death.

“Joy is the flag you fly when the Prince of Peace is in residence within your heart.” Wilfred Peterson

“When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting the sheep.” Anon

“Cana of Galilee ... Ah, that sweet miracle! It was not people's grief, but their joy Christ visited, He worked his first miracle to help people’s gladness.” — Feodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazou, 1880

“Do you prefer that you right, or that you are happy?” A Course in Miracles

“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” Robert Brault

“Enjoy yourself. These are the ‘good old days’ you’re going to miss in the years ahead.” Anonymous

“Joy is when you find a parking space. Euphoria is when there is time in the meter.” Toledo Blade, Jan. 27, 1998

“Love and work – these are the basics. Without them there is neurosis.” Theodore Reik

“We are made for happiness, and anyone who is completely happy has a right to say to himself or herself, ‘I am doing God’s will on earth.’” Anton Chekhov

“Should we not see that lines of laughter about the eyes are just as much marks of faith as are the line of care and seriousness? Is it only earnestness that is baptized? Is laughter pagan? We have already allowed too much that is good to be lost to the church and cast many pearls before swine. A church is in a bad way when it banishes laughter from the sanctuary and leaves it to the cabaret, the nightclub and the toastmasters.” Helmut Thielicke

“The trouble with many men is that they have got just enough religion to make them miserable. If there is not joy in reli­gion, you have got a leak in your religion.” —William A. (Billy) Sunday

“The true object of all human life is play.” G. K. Chesterton

“The worst sin – perhaps the only sin – passion can commit, is to be joyless.” Dorothy Leigh Sayers

“To bring joy to a single heart is better than to build many shrines for worship.” Abu Sa’id Ibn Abi Khayr, in M. Smith, Readings from the Mystics of Islam

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” Colette

“You shall have joy, or you shall have power, said God; you shall not have both.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journal, October 1842

CONCLUSION: AM I A JOYFUL PERSON?

This is a very easy, short and hopefully helpful and joyful homily.

Today’s readings challenge us to ask ourselves, “Am I a joyful person?”

Today’s homily presented 10 questions and 20 quotations on the question of joy. Bottom line: “Am I a joyful person?”

Today’s Sunday is part of the season called Advent – which means preparing for the coming of Christ into our hearts in a new way. Some day this week – some moment or moments before Christmas – find yourself in a quiet place and listen to your soul. Can you hear joy being sung in your heart? Can you hear Christmas carols in your ear and your memory, especially, “Joy to the World, the Lord Has Come!”

If you hear in your ear an inner echo called, "Joy", if you feel joy in your face, if you sense joy in your life, rejoice, because you're hearing the echo of God within! Your answer to the question, “Am I a joyful person?” is yes.

Christmas can be everyday – every day the Christian senses that Christ is within one’s heart – one’s stable – even if one thinks their heart is unstable, even if it has on the floor of their soul – that stuff that stinks up stables. Smile that’s where Christ is born. Joy to the world. Amen.

HIS THIRD YOKE*

It was his third yoke.

It wasn’t that the first one or the second one weren’t good, but his third yoke was best. Good – better – best – an oftentimes hope.

He had seen Joseph make them all through his youth. Then he began helping Joseph make several of them – sawing and cutting, carving and drilling holes for the leather and the ropes in the right places.

He was 15 when he made his first yoke.

He patterned it after the ones Joseph made. But first he went to the farmer who ordered it – looked at his two oxen – measured them – checked the yoke that was being replaced. Yokes last a long time – but they have their day – from the pull and push of oxen and rope – and from strain and stress - from removing rocks and stumps. Then he went home with his drawing and measurements.

Sure enough the farmer was pleased – but Jesus wasn’t. He went out at times to see the farmer at work – and he came up with a few ways he thought could improve his work.

Carpenters made more than yokes. There were homes to help build – as well as doors, tables and chairs. Yet Jesus was intrigued with yokes. There was pain and scrape. Sometimes blood came into the story.

A second request was made. A farmer talked to another farmer who said, “Joseph’s son is good – a good carpenter. He makes a good yoke.” Joseph was in the front of his shop when this new farmer showed up – wanting Jesus – not Joseph to be the one – to make a new yoke. A tinge of jealousy – and age – was Joseph’s first reaction – but then a smile of pride arrived on his face. After all, he had taught Jesus all he knew.

He called Jesus, who was in the back, to meet the farmer – and take the request. Jesus got directions to the farm. He said he wanted to meet his oxen. The farmer liked that. “Here is a young man who takes his work seriously. Too many young people can be too carefree.”

Jesus went out and studied the farmer’s oxen. They were a bit different than the oxen from the first yoke he made. One was stronger in shoulder than the other; one was stronger in legs than the one with the stronger shoulders. One was young and one was old.

Back Jesus went to the shop. It took him two days to make this second yoke. Mary and Joseph clapped when they saw the final step. Then early the third morning Jesus put the yoke on the back of the family donkey and brought it to the farmer. The farmer paid Jesus his coins and the two of them put it on the oxen. Perfect fit. Even the oxen didn’t grunt or groan when the final clamping was done. “Nice work, Jesus. Nice fit. Thanks.” Even the oxen seemed to smile.

Jesus walked home with the donkey – singing and celebrating – enjoying the morning breeze. Both spotted the birds of the air, the grapes on the vines and the wheat in the field.

About a week later, when out for a walk – Jesus spotted a poor couple – a recently married husband and wife – plowing a field – not with oxen – but with their own power and pull – strapped into their own homemade wooden yoke – and he could see blood on the husband’s shoulder.

He stopped walking, went over to them and introduced himself. He asked to see their yoke. He studied it – and studied both their upper bodies. He was good at measuring a person.

He too knew poverty. The couple were living in a stable or was it a lean-to? She looked like she was with child. The couple said they were hoping to make a start on this small piece of land that came with an old stable.

Without telling them, Jesus worked on a new yoke for husband and wife. It called for adjusting and readjusting – wood and leather – ropes and holes. He used Joseph and Mary as models - making sure this would make work easier for this couple. Joseph was amazed at Jesus' ability to come up with new ways to do things. In two weeks he had it finished.

The next day the couple spotted Jesus walking up the road with a yoke on his shoulders – and a smile on his face. Both were wondering, “What was this?” Then Jesus said, “I made this new yoke for you. It’s free – and I’m hoping it will make your work easy and your burdens light.”

*This is a story homily for Wednesday, 2nd week of Advent, 2009. The gospel reading is the "Come to me, all you who are burdened, and I will give you rest" text. [Matthew 11:28-30] P.S. I looked up several reference books on how a yoke was made in Jesus' time - but after that - I'm at a loss for more exact details - having grown up in the city! Smile.

*

WHERE ARE YOU?

INTRODUCTION

The title of my homily is, “Where Are You?”

I remember a sermon from years ago. It was given by Father Andy Cusack. He was preaching on today’s first reading from the book of Genesis – better – when he used the question in today’s first reading, “Where are you?” [Genesis 3:9-15, 20]

He was a diocesan priest – he has since died – from Bridgeport, Ct. and was giving us Redemptorists a retreat at San Alfonso, Retreat House, Long Branch, New Jersey.

I don’t remember anything else from the homily – other than he talked about the question, “Where are you?”

I don’t remember homilies or sermons – especially my own. I have close to 3000 sermons on my computer. I don’t like to repeat myself. Sometimes I look up what I said 10, 20 or 30 years ago and I say to myself, “Oooh! I said that. Ugh! Ouch!”

“Where are you?”

In some ways we’re the same; and in some ways, hopefully, we’re different than we were 10, 20 and 30 years ago.

Where are you?

THE BOOK OF GENESIS

One of the beauties of some of the stories in the Book of Genesis is that they took a long, long time to evolve. They kept on being refined – first spoken and then written. They kept on getting better and better in looking at some of the most basic questions of life.

Today’s first reading used for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception gets at questions like, “Where are you?” It talks about having a relationship with God – and then hiding from God. It talks about nakedness – inner and outer – especially inner – being exposed – caught in a mistake – a stupidity – a sin. It’s talking about forbidden fruit – taking forbidden fruit – getting caught – blaming others.

It talks about all this stuff in very poetic and symbolic language. There are people who like snakes – as in, liking them for pets – but I sense the majority of us – see them as “Uh oh’s” – as silent and sneaky crawling creatures sliding along the ground – the dirt – hiding and biting people who get too close to them.

Today’s first reading from Genesis also has a great “Why?” question. “Why did you do such a thing?”

We all know about that one! We know the story. We can relate to blame and shame and doing stupid things. We might not make the paper or evening news – because we’re not a famous athlete or public figure. But we make our own evening news – and sometimes we can’t sleep – even if we tried to pass the blame for doing something sinful and stupid onto others.

WHERE ARE YOU?

Where are you with this feast of the Immaculate Conception?

Where are you right now?

We're here in church right now, but you might be at work – or mulling over something someone said to you yesterday or last week.

I was with 6 of my brother’s 7 daughters and their families for Thanksgiving Week – at Rehoboth Beach this year. I drove back here on that Friday. I still find myself there with them and different things we talked about and things we did together as family.

There I was at this big table with Dylan doing a jigsaw puzzle. It’s part of our Thanksgiving tradition to do a jigsaw puzzle as a family. People stop from time to time to work on a few pieces – and then move onto something new. Through the years, Dylan and I often spent a good bit of time together at the Thanksgiving Week puzzle. He’s a neat kid. He is 100 times better than me doing a jigsaw puzzle. I like doing this kind of puzzle because I’m often somewhere else – or chatting with Dylan or someone – and surprise, surprise, something comes together while we’re talking or being quiet – a piece of the puzzle is solved – or I figure out where a piece of the puzzle of life fits in.

This year, while working on the puzzle, I began to see something new. Dylan was constantly tapping something into his cell phone or whatever the gadget was. I figured he was having a texting conversation – over and over again to a friend back home in Arizona.

A lady had told me recently that she checked the family phone bill and one kid had 700 texts in a week. Wow. And she had only 30 and her husband had only 1 – and when she was telling him about this, he said, “That 1 was done by you – so I have none.”

Where are you? Where are all these people on cell phones and Blackberries and Droids as they are driving – or walking – or stepping outside?

MEETINGS

I was at a meeting up in Pasadena, Maryland, yesterday. It was our regular 2nd Monday of the Month meeting for priests and deacons in our deanery. I always remember at meetings the story of a guy on an elevator after a meeting. Another guy says to him, “Wow that was a boring meeting, but you looked okay with it.” And the other person said, “I was ice fishing in Minnesota.”

Where are you?

CONCLUSION

As we heard in today’s gospel, Mary – a teenage girl – was there in Nazareth – filled with other plans – and surprise, God jumped into her life with other plans. She asked questions. Then she said, “Yes!” [Luke 1: 26-38]

I’m sure for the next 9 months – for the next 10, 20, 30 years, she might have been at the oven or in the carpenter shop or on the road, but I bet you, her mind was somewhere else.

I smile when people confess distractions in prayer. I confess that I think that many times distractions, being somewhere else, is what prayer is all about. Where are you? Where have you been during this Mass so far?

* Painting on top: Mary - part of the Moulins' Triptych in the Moulins' Cathedral. Isn't it a neat picture? It's dated around 1498-99. It was done by the Master of Moulins - an unknown artist as of now. Check it out on Google to see the whole triptych. The notes say the artist has both Flemish and French styles and / or influence.