“A gossip is one who talks to you about others; a bore is
one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one
who talks to you about yourself.”
Lisa
Kirk, New York Journal American, March 9, 1954
REGRETS
Quote for Today - Monday November 11, 2013
“Regrets are as personal as fingerprints.”
Margaret Culkin Banning, “Living With
Regrets,” Readers Digest, October 1958
IS THAT ALL THERE IS?
TWO WOMEN WHO
HOVER IN MY MEMORY
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily for this 32nd Sunday in
Ordinary Time, C, “Is That All There Is?
Two Women Who Hover In My Memory.”
Today’s three readings, Machabees, Thessalonians, and Luke,
Old Testament and New Testament, challenge us to look at life and death, faith
and meaning, resurrection or nothingness.
Big topics!
Is this life all there is?
How many of us - at a funeral - or a sleepless night - or -
when we’re about to have a major operation think: “What happens if I die and
there is nothing after this?”
Then we laugh - or smirk inwardly: “Well if this is all there is, we’ll never
know till after we die and then we’ll never know.”
Uh oh! That triggers one more, “Uh oh!”
Doubts! We’re allowed to have them.
Doubts! In fact as wisdom figures often point out: if you don’t have them,
you’re not thinking.
Doubts! So they are real. They’re under different rocks
along the way - especially tomb stones.
And I would expect as we move towards the end of the year,
we should expect end of life questions.
We who live in the Northern Hemisphere, if we’re in a four
season locale, are reminded of these topics and themes by nature as well. The
trees along the roads and on our streets - announce with each parachuting leaf:
time is almost up. Neighbors who are neat are out there with their rakes and
black plastic bags. They are telling us: winter is coming. For some reason cemeteries
in November seem louder than usual. And sometimes we wonder if the obituary
column is longer around this time of the year than at other times.
TWO WOMEN
As priest - these questions pop up - perhaps - more in my
mind - than for other folks. The request to do a funeral - or to visit someone
who is dying - are part of a parish priest’s week. Before I came to Annapolis to do parish
priest work, I did quite a bit of parish missions. Part of that work was to
visit the sick of a parish - especially those who were homebound or in nursing
homes.
Two women still hover - keep lingering - in my memories - whenever I begin thinking
about these end of life issues - as well as when I drive down November or
December highways as we head towards the end of another year - church and
calendar years.
I met these two women in different states. For the sake of
privacy I’ll keep the first name of both these women anonymous.
The first woman lived in a farm house. A parishioner, a man
who brought me to see this lady, told me as we were getting out of the car that
the lady had about 2 months to live. We had asked the pastor to line up people
in the parish who know who the shut-ins were. The driver visited this couple
once a week and brought them communion.
Hearing him say, “two months to live” triggered an “Uh oh!”
in me.
The man knocked on the door. He then opened it and walked
right in. This told me that he had been
here many times. The woman was sitting right there on a couch. She was yellow.
She was filled with cancer. It was eating into her liver.
The woman told us that her husband was in the bedroom - not
feeling that well. He told her, “Relax! I’ll check him out.”
He then walked towards the back of the house to see her
husband. The idea was to give her some time
to chat and pray and be alone with me. We sat and talked. We sat and I
listened.
With a bit of nervousness - after she told me she didn’t
have much time left, I asked her, “Are you ready?”
She looked at me - as if surprised a priest would ask her such
a question.
Then she said directly and calmly. “Ready? In less than a month I’m going to see the
shining face of Jesus.”
Then she told me that Jesus has been the one who had been with her all these
days - loving her husband - raising the kids - dealing with cancer. “Jesus has
been with me all the days of my life.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
When we were finished
I went to the back and asked her husband if he was well enough to have
communion with his wife - in the living room.
Then we went back to the front of the house and the four of
us joined hands in prayer. Then I broke the communion host in half - and gave
one half to her and the other half to her husband. That’s something I like to
do when I give communion to couples in a situation like this.
As we headed back to the car - I said to the guy doing the
driving, “Wow. What a neat couple. What serenity. What faith. What hope. What
trust.”
I’ll have never forgotten her face. It was shining!
The second woman whom I have never forgotten was in a
nursing home - in another state. The two priests in the parish asked me to see
her. For some reason, I sensed problems here. But they said nothing.
I went by myself. It
was quite a distance to the nursing home. They gave good directions. She was the
only Catholic in the nursing home.
She was in her room.
Her only question was, “Am I going to hell, Father?” She asked that
question at least 7 times in the first 7 minutes. A nurse’s aid in the corridor
heard the question and I could see her face wince.
I stayed for about 20 minutes. She didn’t hear me when I
said, “Jesus loves you. Jesus forgives you everything.” I didn’t know what else
to say, so I said words like that. They didn’t take. She kept with her, “Am I
going to hell, Father?”
I realized she had memory loss and was frozen in that one
question: “Am I going to hell?”
As I drove back I felt lonely. Helpless! I felt angst and
yuck.
That evening at supper, both priests asked me about my day
and the different nursing homes I visited. And then came the real question, “Did you see so and so?
Were you able to deal with her, ‘Am I going to hell?’ question.”
At that I felt they had the same feelings of disappointment.
They told me that she has been asking that same question of
every priest that goes to see her for over 7 years now.
We talked a bit more about all this. I have no idea what we
ate - only what was eating us - our wonderings if church or preachers - or family - who or what
- got her into this frozen lake of worry. We wondered if we or anyone could
have helped her back then sometime - before she got into this state.
By now she’s surely dead - and I’m assuming she’s laughing
with God.
Yet, to be totally
honest, let me say this: “Of course, I don’t know - really down deep - I don’t
know how all this works. I know the words and the teachings and the scripture
stories.”
She’s still alive for me - in that small nursing home -
somewhere there in the back of my mind.
And the obvious question: will this happen to me?
And the obvious question: have I done this to anyone?
And the obvious prayer: “Lord, make me an announcer of your
copious redemption.” That’s the motto and the charism of the community I belong
to - the Redemptorist Congregation in the Church.
Yes - that’s our motto - and I wince every time someone
says, “Redemptorists? Aren’t they the ones who used to preach fire and
brimstone sermons?”
And I respond: “I hope not. Our motto is, ‘Copiosa apud eum
redemptio.’ ‘With him there is fullness of
redemption.’”
So I hope I can preach that message to those who still have
their minds - and I pray for those in nursing homes or at home who are in the
November or December of their lives that they have serenity of Spirit - trusting in the Lord
walking with them if they begin to feel they are going through a dark valley.
GOSPEL
Ooops. Well, I better get to a conclusion - after talking
about conclusions - in this homily.
The title of my homily is: “Is That All There Is? Two Women Who Hover In My Memory.”
Today’s gospel can get us in touch with the reality that
some people think about these questions.
Some people think there is nothing after this life.
Some do.
Some people get nervous about second marriages - and what
happens if there is life after this? Will my first spouse be waiting for me and
say, “I thought ….?”
Today’s gospel tells us about the Sadducees - who use an old
anecdote about a woman who was married
to seven brothers. She buries them all off - so the question arises: “Who will be her husband if there is life
after death?”
It’s their way of challenging Jesus and anyone who believes
in resurrection after death.
Jesus tries to stretch their minds and their hopes by
telling those who will listen that they have no clue to what the next life is
all about. The next age will not be about marriage and re-marriage - but about
being celebrating eternal life with God and with all who have gone before us -
Moses, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob.
CONCLUSION
The title of my homily is: “Is That All There Is? Two Women Who Hover In My Memory.”
Right now I’m thinking of my sister Peggy who has just died.
I have faith that her life includes resurrection and eternal life. Being a
religious, I believe in Jesus’ promises about those who chose the kind of life
a religious nun or priest chooses has eternal value.
Having read today’s readings - I also suspect that triggered
Peggy Lee’s 1969 signature song: “Is That
All There Is?”
The song’s message compared to Jesus’ words about all that
is to come - seems empty and insipid. Peggy Lee’s refrain is, “If that’s all
there is, my friend, then let’s keep dancing, let’s break out the booze, and
have a ball.”
Peggy Lee near the end of her song says that if that’s all
there is, it will be disappointing. I was disappointed with the end of the song
- because I think Christianity - with the promises of Christ - urges us to live
life to the full - both now and for all eternity.
Interesting - in Greek theology - eternity is described as the perichoresis - from the two Greek words
- “peri” - “around” and “chorea” meaning dance - so heaven is the Great Dance
or the Divine Dance - in which all are invited into this great dance with the
Trinity. I picture my sister Peggy and all those who have gone before me - in
that dance - and so as Peggy Lee says, “let’s keep dancing” because this here
life is not all that there is. Amen.
OOOOOOOOOO
Painting on top: Mary Cassatt, Young Woman in Green Outdoors in the Sun, 1914
TELEPHONE CALLS
Quote for Today - Sunday - November 10, 2013
“Today the ringing of the telephone takes precedence over
everything. It reaches a point of terrorism, particularly at dinnertime.”
Nieles
Diffrient, New York Times, October 16,1986
Comment: Notice this comment was made before cell phones got really ringing and singing.
HINDSIGHT
Quote for Today - Saturday - November 9, 2013
“Hindsight is an exact science.”
Guy Bellamy, The Sinner’s Congregation,
Secker and Warburg, 1984
IN BOLD PRINT
INTRODUCTION
The title of my homily for this 31 Friday in Ordinary Time
is: “In Bold Print.”
In today’s first reading from Romans 15: 14-21 - Paul says,
“I have written to you rather boldly.” I
am familiar with another translation which said, “I have written to you rather
boldly in parts of this letter.”
I was imagining if Paul had a computer - would he write his
heavy messages with BOLD print - or a bigger font - or underline key points.
If he printed out his message would he magic mark in yellow
or pink or blue - his key passages.
People do that with their Bibles. They go through it with
magic markers. I’ve also often wondered if that makes a message stronger for
people.
Some people go crazy with people who mark up books - who
underline sentences or words - or put exclamation points or question marks.
I love it - SOMETIMES - I put that in capitals - and in bold
print - when people mark up Bibles and I pick it up. It tells me about what hits other
people. It tells me about people.
BACK TO THE TITLE
The title of my homily is, “In Bold Print.”
Picture the following scenario.
Adriana goes out to eat with her family to a local
restaurant - and there is a whole plate of roasted asparagus on the table.
Now Adriana loves asparagus.
She asks for a “doggy bag” which now are Styrofoam
containers and she brings home her treasure.
From experience she knows that her stuff sometimes gets stolen out of
the refrigerator. So she gets a purple Sharpie Pen and puts on the Styrofoam contained
in Big Letters: “This belongs to Adriana. DO NOT TOUCH. DO NOT TAKE!”
Then she puts duct tape on the container. Then she puts that
in a paper bag - with her name on the brown paper bag. “THIS BELONGS TO
ADRIANA! DO NOT TAKE!!!!!!!”
She wakes up the next morning - and heads down to the
refrigerator - with a smile on her face - ready for her roasted asparagus.
It’s gone. It’s missing. She starts screaming. “Who took my
asparagus.”
Her older brother says, “Oh that was yours. I came home last
night and spotted it in the fridge and it was delicious. Thanks.”
She says, “Can’t you read, you moron?”
He says, “You’ll get over it!”
BACK TO MY TITLE
The title of my homily is, “In Bold Print!”
Get yourself a Bible. Get yourself a good yellow highlighter
or Magic Marker in yellow or pink. Go through the Bible on a regular basis and
high light words and texts and stories that grab you.
Maybe someone will discover your Bible 10 years after you
die at the age of 95 and they get a glimpse of what grabbed you in life.
CONCLUSION:
TODAY’S GOSPEL
For example, today’s gospel talks about a guy who is very clever in giving
people breaks so that if and when he is fired, he will have people he was good
to hire him.
Jesus is not telling people to be dishonest, but to use
their cleverness for the right reasons - to make life sweeter and better for
each other.
That might be something someone would highlight or put in
bold print! Amen.
FAMILY FACES
Quote for Today - November 8, 2013
“Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who
belong to us, we see the past, present and future.”
Gail Lumet Buckley, “The Hornes: An American Family, Knopf, 1986
Picture: My sister Peg at her 50th Anniversary as an IHM Sister.
